DeJenerate
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2008
- Messages
- 1
I had had many experiences on ketamin before the time I am going to describe now. I had been into k-holes before and had had experiences involving out of body experiences, journeys back in time till before I was born and forward in time till after my death, swimming deep in the sea and flying through the stars. I'm just saying this now so you know it was nowhere near my first time on ketamin and that I had already been to many places whilst in a k-hole.
The trip I am about to describe was totally different to anything I'd experienced before and profoundly moved me.
On this occasion, I had been out at a club the previous night and had done about 0.25g of speed taken in about 3 doses during the night, 3 ecstasy tablets and about 0.3 gram of ketamin and cocaine mixed together (I'm not sure on what the proportion of each was but I'm sure there was more K than coke.). I had consumed a couple of cans of beer during the night as well. I began the night at about 6 p.m. and by the time we left the house at 10.30 p.m. I had done all of the speed and about 3 lines of CK (cocaine & ketamin). Not sure on the dosage of the lines but just to give you some idea they were about 3cm long each and about 5mm wide. Upon getting to club at 11 p.m. I dropped one ecstacy pill and did the other 2 with about a 45 minute gap between each. I had one more line of CK at about midnight. By 3.30 am I had come down from most of the 'highs' of the drugs and was feeling a bit tired and couldn't handle the atmosphere of the club anymore so decided to go home. Once home I had a small line of ketamin followed by a line of CK followed by a line of coke an hour or so later. So far the ketamin had not sent me into a k-hole that night, it had twisted reality for a while but I had still been aware of everyone and everything around me. By now it was about 10 a.m. in the morning and I had done my last line of coke an hour before.
I was in my living room on the sofa next to my boyfriend. There were 2 other people in the room but they had fallen asleep. We were just chatting and listening to music. He made up a line for each of us of ketamin about 5cm long by 1cm wide. Quite a big line but I have a pretty good tolerance as I have been doing ketamin in various doses for around 18 months and had a lot still in my system from the night before. We had done ketamin many times before this one but if we had k-holed we had done it at home in a completely relaxed atmosphere and had separate trips and seen each other when we got back.
This time was totally different and unlike anything I'd ever felt. We did our lines him first and me about 5 minutes later. I laid my head on his chest and felt myself falling hard into a k hole. I felt like I was fuzing into him and remember saying 'I'm going to go upstairs now' to which he said 'why?' and I said 'because I don't know what's happening to me'. I felt like I had to remove myself from him right away before we became joined and I wouldn't be able to. He told me to relax and put my head back onto his chest. This made me feel safe and although I felt a bit afraid of what was to come I felt that he was looking after me. His presence was there and I could feel him reassuring me and encouraging me to embrace it.
I felt myself falling harder into a k-hole. At this point I saw my life blurring past me from this point on till beyond death, and this point back to before birth, but both at the same time. It felt really strange as I was going back and forward through time simultaneously. I felt myself falling inside him and flowing into his body. I knew in my mind that this was totally out of character for my typical k hole but I knew also that it was too late to go back. I was fully relaxed and prepared to go with whatever happened. After this I knew I has inside him. I was looking out at a totally white space with nothing inside it except in front of me was a large shape, which was circular in the middle and extending out to a point at the top of the bottom. I should probably describe it as spherical because it was definitely a 3D object. I got the impression that the whiteness was just nothingness stretching into eternity. The object looked like it was made of fluid, half blue and half red, split down the middle, the red on the left and blue on the right. I knew instinctively that the red was my soul and the blue his. As I looked at the shape, the two colours began to flow together. At this point they were still separate and I could pick the colours out. I felt the red reach fingers around the blue and vice versa. I knew they were mingling but I couldn't stop it. They mixed more and more until they were totally fused and it was just a purple liquid. At this point the sensation inside me felt like an intense orgasm that was coming from my whole body. It felt like it was on a higher plane, it totally consumed me. Inside this feeling was the strongest feeling of love I had ever felt. It was for this person and this person only. It was mixed with a feeling of intense need for him to love me in the same way. I felt him there with me and felt protected from anything that could ever happen. For a split second a thought of terror flashed across me that it was just me feeling this. I knew instinctively that this was not the case.
The purple shape flowed outwards to fill the white space. When there was no white left the shape dissipated into millions of tiny fragments which blew away like hundreds of bits of paper in the wind. Left behind was just blackness.
Slowly I felt myself returning into the present but my body felt heavy and all I could do was lie across him. I realised that during my k-hole I had moved so I was lying up his body with lots of contact. I do not remember moving at any point during the k-hole. I was not aware of anything happening except the k-hole. My arms were tightly around him and his around me. As I really started to surface I felt extremely naked. I felt that he had seen parts of my that I didn't know existed. I felt like i had spread my whole being out in front of him and he had seen every little detail of my entire make-up, reaching from before birth to after death. My breathing started to quicken and I felt near panic as I thought about what had happened. He told me to relax and take deep breaths. I did this and felt like I was separating from him and going back to myself. After about half an hour of us just lying there like statues I felt that I was out of the trip.
I asked him if he knew what had happened. He asked me what it had felt like, to which I replied that we had fused together. I told him about the shape and he said he had seen the same thing. He mentioned the fingers of the colours going out around the shape, which I had not described to him but which was identical to what I had seen. He asked me what it had felt like and I replied that I never knew my body was capable of emotion that strong. I said it felt like an orgasm but better and he said he had had exactly the same feeling. It seemed that we had both experienced this incredible trip together. I had never felt that bonded with anyone in my life before. We had been at one and reveled in each other. I knew then how much he loved me and knew also that I would never be able to express in words how I felt for him because he had seen it and it was too much to be able to cover with pitiful words. Although he had spoken to me during the k hole, he told me afterwards that he had never moved his mouth (I wasn't looking at him so didn't know if he'd moved his lips but I heard him clear as day - although I couldn't hear the music that was playing??)
I was profoundly moved by this experience as I knew that no one had ever seen every nook and cranny of my soul in this way before. People know what you tell them and what they see with their own eyes. He had seen it from within me and had seen everything. All the bad thoughts I had ever had. It was very unnerving as of course everyone has millions of thoughts that never get shared with the world. I asked him about other things that he had experienced during the trip. He said that at the start he had felt that I was worried and frightened about what was about to happen. He relaxed me to the point where I could mentally go forward. He also said that he had had this sort of experience once before in the whole time he's been doing ketamin (about 8 years). I think that because he knew what was coming he wasn't afraid and I could feel this and calm myself. I felt that in a way he had been in control of me and was there with me the entire time. I told him that it felt strange knowing he had seen everything, but I also felt totally cleansed and elated by the experience. I felt relieved in a way that I had been able to bare my soul like that. He said that if I had not trusted him to see that my soul would not have allowed itself to be spread out in that way. It was a very scary thought knowing that for the first and possibly last time in my life I would totally be at one with someone, completely joined and mixed with no edges and nothing separate. I honestly felt afterwards that my life had changed and I blown away by the intensity and beauty of the trip I had just been on. Generally I cannot remember most of my k-holes but I can remember every single second of this one and I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to forget.
I would like to go on a similar trip again because this time I would know what was going to happen and would not have to feel afraid. I have no idea whether or not it had anything to do with the amount of drugs I had already consumed on the previous night with no sleep. I don't know why it happened because as I've said we'd done ketamin plenty of times together before but gone away on our own trips. I had never felt his presence or indeed anybody else's on a k trip before. I honestly cannot describe the intensity of the emotions I felt during that time and how much it moved me inside. I have never before heard of this happening to anyone and didn't know it could be possible. It was like making love but without the physicalities and on a completely molecular lever. Knowing that he had exactly the same experience with me is something we will always share and makes me feel infinitely closer to him than I have ever felt to anybody else. I don't think it would be possible to have this with someone you didn't trust completely as I think your soul would stop it happening. It was only when he reassured me that it would be OK that I allowed myself to go forward with the rest of the trip.
If anyone has had anything similar to this I would really like to know.
substancecode_ketamine
methodcode_nasal
The trip I am about to describe was totally different to anything I'd experienced before and profoundly moved me.
On this occasion, I had been out at a club the previous night and had done about 0.25g of speed taken in about 3 doses during the night, 3 ecstasy tablets and about 0.3 gram of ketamin and cocaine mixed together (I'm not sure on what the proportion of each was but I'm sure there was more K than coke.). I had consumed a couple of cans of beer during the night as well. I began the night at about 6 p.m. and by the time we left the house at 10.30 p.m. I had done all of the speed and about 3 lines of CK (cocaine & ketamin). Not sure on the dosage of the lines but just to give you some idea they were about 3cm long each and about 5mm wide. Upon getting to club at 11 p.m. I dropped one ecstacy pill and did the other 2 with about a 45 minute gap between each. I had one more line of CK at about midnight. By 3.30 am I had come down from most of the 'highs' of the drugs and was feeling a bit tired and couldn't handle the atmosphere of the club anymore so decided to go home. Once home I had a small line of ketamin followed by a line of CK followed by a line of coke an hour or so later. So far the ketamin had not sent me into a k-hole that night, it had twisted reality for a while but I had still been aware of everyone and everything around me. By now it was about 10 a.m. in the morning and I had done my last line of coke an hour before.
I was in my living room on the sofa next to my boyfriend. There were 2 other people in the room but they had fallen asleep. We were just chatting and listening to music. He made up a line for each of us of ketamin about 5cm long by 1cm wide. Quite a big line but I have a pretty good tolerance as I have been doing ketamin in various doses for around 18 months and had a lot still in my system from the night before. We had done ketamin many times before this one but if we had k-holed we had done it at home in a completely relaxed atmosphere and had separate trips and seen each other when we got back.
This time was totally different and unlike anything I'd ever felt. We did our lines him first and me about 5 minutes later. I laid my head on his chest and felt myself falling hard into a k hole. I felt like I was fuzing into him and remember saying 'I'm going to go upstairs now' to which he said 'why?' and I said 'because I don't know what's happening to me'. I felt like I had to remove myself from him right away before we became joined and I wouldn't be able to. He told me to relax and put my head back onto his chest. This made me feel safe and although I felt a bit afraid of what was to come I felt that he was looking after me. His presence was there and I could feel him reassuring me and encouraging me to embrace it.
I felt myself falling harder into a k-hole. At this point I saw my life blurring past me from this point on till beyond death, and this point back to before birth, but both at the same time. It felt really strange as I was going back and forward through time simultaneously. I felt myself falling inside him and flowing into his body. I knew in my mind that this was totally out of character for my typical k hole but I knew also that it was too late to go back. I was fully relaxed and prepared to go with whatever happened. After this I knew I has inside him. I was looking out at a totally white space with nothing inside it except in front of me was a large shape, which was circular in the middle and extending out to a point at the top of the bottom. I should probably describe it as spherical because it was definitely a 3D object. I got the impression that the whiteness was just nothingness stretching into eternity. The object looked like it was made of fluid, half blue and half red, split down the middle, the red on the left and blue on the right. I knew instinctively that the red was my soul and the blue his. As I looked at the shape, the two colours began to flow together. At this point they were still separate and I could pick the colours out. I felt the red reach fingers around the blue and vice versa. I knew they were mingling but I couldn't stop it. They mixed more and more until they were totally fused and it was just a purple liquid. At this point the sensation inside me felt like an intense orgasm that was coming from my whole body. It felt like it was on a higher plane, it totally consumed me. Inside this feeling was the strongest feeling of love I had ever felt. It was for this person and this person only. It was mixed with a feeling of intense need for him to love me in the same way. I felt him there with me and felt protected from anything that could ever happen. For a split second a thought of terror flashed across me that it was just me feeling this. I knew instinctively that this was not the case.
The purple shape flowed outwards to fill the white space. When there was no white left the shape dissipated into millions of tiny fragments which blew away like hundreds of bits of paper in the wind. Left behind was just blackness.
Slowly I felt myself returning into the present but my body felt heavy and all I could do was lie across him. I realised that during my k-hole I had moved so I was lying up his body with lots of contact. I do not remember moving at any point during the k-hole. I was not aware of anything happening except the k-hole. My arms were tightly around him and his around me. As I really started to surface I felt extremely naked. I felt that he had seen parts of my that I didn't know existed. I felt like i had spread my whole being out in front of him and he had seen every little detail of my entire make-up, reaching from before birth to after death. My breathing started to quicken and I felt near panic as I thought about what had happened. He told me to relax and take deep breaths. I did this and felt like I was separating from him and going back to myself. After about half an hour of us just lying there like statues I felt that I was out of the trip.
I asked him if he knew what had happened. He asked me what it had felt like, to which I replied that we had fused together. I told him about the shape and he said he had seen the same thing. He mentioned the fingers of the colours going out around the shape, which I had not described to him but which was identical to what I had seen. He asked me what it had felt like and I replied that I never knew my body was capable of emotion that strong. I said it felt like an orgasm but better and he said he had had exactly the same feeling. It seemed that we had both experienced this incredible trip together. I had never felt that bonded with anyone in my life before. We had been at one and reveled in each other. I knew then how much he loved me and knew also that I would never be able to express in words how I felt for him because he had seen it and it was too much to be able to cover with pitiful words. Although he had spoken to me during the k hole, he told me afterwards that he had never moved his mouth (I wasn't looking at him so didn't know if he'd moved his lips but I heard him clear as day - although I couldn't hear the music that was playing??)
I was profoundly moved by this experience as I knew that no one had ever seen every nook and cranny of my soul in this way before. People know what you tell them and what they see with their own eyes. He had seen it from within me and had seen everything. All the bad thoughts I had ever had. It was very unnerving as of course everyone has millions of thoughts that never get shared with the world. I asked him about other things that he had experienced during the trip. He said that at the start he had felt that I was worried and frightened about what was about to happen. He relaxed me to the point where I could mentally go forward. He also said that he had had this sort of experience once before in the whole time he's been doing ketamin (about 8 years). I think that because he knew what was coming he wasn't afraid and I could feel this and calm myself. I felt that in a way he had been in control of me and was there with me the entire time. I told him that it felt strange knowing he had seen everything, but I also felt totally cleansed and elated by the experience. I felt relieved in a way that I had been able to bare my soul like that. He said that if I had not trusted him to see that my soul would not have allowed itself to be spread out in that way. It was a very scary thought knowing that for the first and possibly last time in my life I would totally be at one with someone, completely joined and mixed with no edges and nothing separate. I honestly felt afterwards that my life had changed and I blown away by the intensity and beauty of the trip I had just been on. Generally I cannot remember most of my k-holes but I can remember every single second of this one and I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to forget.
I would like to go on a similar trip again because this time I would know what was going to happen and would not have to feel afraid. I have no idea whether or not it had anything to do with the amount of drugs I had already consumed on the previous night with no sleep. I don't know why it happened because as I've said we'd done ketamin plenty of times together before but gone away on our own trips. I had never felt his presence or indeed anybody else's on a k trip before. I honestly cannot describe the intensity of the emotions I felt during that time and how much it moved me inside. I have never before heard of this happening to anyone and didn't know it could be possible. It was like making love but without the physicalities and on a completely molecular lever. Knowing that he had exactly the same experience with me is something we will always share and makes me feel infinitely closer to him than I have ever felt to anybody else. I don't think it would be possible to have this with someone you didn't trust completely as I think your soul would stop it happening. It was only when he reassured me that it would be OK that I allowed myself to go forward with the rest of the trip.
If anyone has had anything similar to this I would really like to know.
substancecode_ketamine
methodcode_nasal
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