Mental Health Ketamine addiction

[dakky]

I just don't know how to quit.

I have been using for 12 years and it has taken me to some terrible places.

Recently, everytime I use it ends up with a panic attack; probably based on some bad shit I've done to my body. I have these panic attacks and they either end with me in hospital or going to sleep some how. Basically it is not fun at all but I still keep using. Can't get any benzo's from anywhere Dr included.

My mind blocks out how bad it really was (thinking im going to die or w/e) and still decides to pick up again.

I think maybe it's my ROA; like I snort K and my airway seems fucked. My chest is bad.

Two reasons I use K; mental and physical

Physical; I have some pain/discomfort which I feel all the time. K used to take this away (tho not so much now as it is just a mess when I use). This has never been diagnosed some people tell me no drugs and exercise will make it better but i dont know i did three months of that solid eating/exercise/no drugs and I still felt it.

I thought about injecting maybe that would be better. I thought about heroin or similar. I thought about suicide. Lots more recently than I have ever before Thing is I can't/won't do it as I know it is just selfish and would destroy my family.

Mental; well this could go on forever and ever.

My life is a mess right now which doesn't help. Had to quit my job. Isolating myself....

I hate meetings (NA AA etc). I have a drugs worker and a horrible session yesterday where I just couldn't use the session?

WTF do I do. HOW DO I STOP? Arrghhhhh

Sorry for the rant

 

[GodSpeedK]

There's no easy solution to quitting. Especially as you've been using a lot longer than I have. Ketamine is not physically addictive, purely psychological. Although that doesn't mean to say it isn't very difficult to knock it on the head. I think the best way to quit or to cut back is to accept that you're going to permanently damage your bladder/kidneys/bowels if you continue to use. Aren't you getting cramps? I'm sure you must piss a lot every day...that must be keeping you up at night, surely? I was pissing about twenty times a night before I stopped. It's no way to live. Constant state of discomfort, it gets humilitaing and restrictive when you have to go for piss stops when on a drive or at the cinema. Your quality of life is just going to plummet, as I'm sure it already has for you.

Ask yourself, is it all that fun anymore? Your tolerance must be through the roof. Mine was...half gram lines to get anywhere...money being burnt on grams and grams. Depressed and bored without it. But when you have it, you're completely unproductive; you can't do anything! Just sit around like a vegetable, monging out to tunes and films. Then there's the psychological damage it can cause, such as perforations of the brain. Paranoia...delusions...It's also fucking expensive these days and the quality is up and down.

I wish you all the best with quitting. It's vital that you at least cut down considerably. Or you risk bladder reconstruction surgery, a catheter, or kidney damage...so you could in all honesty end up on a dialysis machine. Which is for life. It's no laughing matter. K is an evil bastard and I've been one of it's best friends for the last 4 years.

Good luck!

 

[dakky]

I have been lucky with my bladder not having terrible symptoms there, just some, and have recently asked to be referred to a urologist

But I just don't see the reason for a way out just depressed at the moment and nothing to work towards

 

[Tussmann]

There's no easy solution to quitting. Especially as you've been using a lot longer than I have. Ketamine is not physically addictive, purely psychological. Although that doesn't mean to say it isn't very difficult to knock it on the head. I think the best way to quit or to cut back is to accept that you're going to permanently damage your bladder/kidneys/bowels if you continue to use. Aren't you getting cramps? I'm sure you must piss a lot every day...that must be keeping you up at night, surely? I was pissing about twenty times a night before I stopped. It's no way to live. Constant state of discomfort, it gets humilitaing and restrictive when you have to go for piss stops when on a drive or at the cinema. Your quality of life is just going to plummet, as I'm sure it already has for you.

Ask yourself, is it all that fun anymore? Your tolerance must be the roof. Mine was...half gram lines to get anywhere...money being burnt on grams and grams. Depressed and bored without it. But when you have it, you're completely unproductive; you can't do anything! Just sit around like a vegetable, monging out to tunes and films. Then there's the psychological damage it can cause, such as perforations of the brain. Paranoia...delusions...It's also fucking expensive these days and the quality is up and down.

I wish you all the best with quitting. It's vital that you at least cut down considerably. Or you risk bladder reconstruction surgery, a catheter, or kidney damage...so you could in all honesty end up on a dialysis machine. Which is for life. It's no laughing matter. K is an evil bastard and I've been one of it's best friends for the last 4 years.

Good luck!

Never done K. After reading this, I feel like I've done K.

 

[GodSpeedK]

I have been lucky with my bladder not having terrible symptoms there, just some, and have recently asked to be referred to a urologist

But I just don't see the reason for a way out just depressed at the moment and nothing to work towards

Well if you've been lucky so far, surely it's best to quit when you're still lucky. Like leaving a casino when you're winning. I have been relatively lucky too. But every time I get that rather unpleasant sensation in my abdomen, it's clear that my body is not appreciative of my habit.

How do you not see a reason? I've given you a few extremely good reasons for giving it up. If avoiding kidney failure isn't a good reason, I don't know what is. Yes, depression makes one indifferent and unwilling to change for the better. Believe me, I've been there. So I can understand your mindset and that difficulty in letting go. K will do that to you. In fact, I would love to bosh a fat line right now and sink into my chair for a couple of hours. But my priorities lie elsewhere. You say you've been doing it for 12 years...if the honey-moon period is over for me (a user of 4 years), then it must be for you as well.

Is it really all that, once you've experienced that hole more times than you can count? I know I've obsessed over it to a point where it doesn't make sense. It's just the K convincing you that it's so amazing. Addiction talking. The problem with K is that it should be treated like a psychedelic and used a couple of times a year. Except it bridges the gap between psychedelics and more habit-forming substances. So people like us who are susceptible to addiction, fall into the trap.

Fill the void with something else; preferably something fulfilling and productive: music, writing, auto-repair, sport, whatever! Cut down your use, and before you know it, you'll be ready to quit entirely. That's about as much advice as I can give, the rest is down to you. Who the fuck wants to be pissing blood?

Never done K. After reading this, I feel like I've done K.

Haha, well I only focused on the negative long term effects. I could easily write an essay about why it's such a wonderful substance for recreational purposes. But I don't think that's suitable for the dark side and especially this thread...

 

[phatass]

If you experience chronic pain you could in theory get prescribed painkillers (you would have to be in tremendous pain to justify taking an opiate as strong as heroin), though the hardest part of quitting K will be the psychological addiction, you may look into the possibility to relocate geographically if you have too many contacts and friends who use K around you.
good luck