I've started to notice those subtle pangs of discomfort that, for me, typically turn into a miserable, angry, self-centered mindset. I can't be having this.
I've been doing very well lately in maintaining a balanced perspective and have been enjoying a sense of inner peace based on acceptance.
My tendencies toward anger have taken a vacation and it has been nice.
So, whats going on that is disrupting this peace that I've consistently had for quite some time?
I'm not really sure but I'm inclined to think that it has to do with impatience and expectations that I put on myself.
I've been exercising everyday and I am showing significant results in gaining muscle and form.
I've been eating healthy to the point where I don't eat for pleasure but simply to keep nutrients in my body. For the most part, I eat quinoa in the morning and then eat leafy greens, apples and proteins throughout the day.
I think I have lost my perspective on realistic progress in my goals. Whatever gains I have received in my attaining my goals just aren't good enough. I want more, faster.
Fuckin' junkie ass mentality creepin' back into my head again I suppose. This time it isn't about the drugs. Its about making up for all that lost time. Trying to catch up to where I think I should be if I hadn't ever used drugs to the extent and frequency that I have.
Shedding this discomfort can be done in two ways (that I can see thus far):
1 - Practicing acceptance and gratitude
2 - Pushing myself harder to keep things moving
Fuck it, why not combine the two?
I picked up a box of nicotine patches and tomorrow is my planned 'quit date'. I fucking HATE smoking. Its time to suffer the pain of withdrawal in order to get myself to where I would like to be.
Just gonna push on through and if folks find me insufferable, well, its only temporary. Its gotta be done so its time to stop fuckin' around with excuses and delay.
Its gonna suck but at least I'll be making an effort to get to that spot where I want to be.
There is no easier, softer way.
I've been doing very well lately in maintaining a balanced perspective and have been enjoying a sense of inner peace based on acceptance.
My tendencies toward anger have taken a vacation and it has been nice.
So, whats going on that is disrupting this peace that I've consistently had for quite some time?
I'm not really sure but I'm inclined to think that it has to do with impatience and expectations that I put on myself.
I've been exercising everyday and I am showing significant results in gaining muscle and form.
I've been eating healthy to the point where I don't eat for pleasure but simply to keep nutrients in my body. For the most part, I eat quinoa in the morning and then eat leafy greens, apples and proteins throughout the day.
I think I have lost my perspective on realistic progress in my goals. Whatever gains I have received in my attaining my goals just aren't good enough. I want more, faster.
Fuckin' junkie ass mentality creepin' back into my head again I suppose. This time it isn't about the drugs. Its about making up for all that lost time. Trying to catch up to where I think I should be if I hadn't ever used drugs to the extent and frequency that I have.
Shedding this discomfort can be done in two ways (that I can see thus far):
1 - Practicing acceptance and gratitude
2 - Pushing myself harder to keep things moving
Fuck it, why not combine the two?
I picked up a box of nicotine patches and tomorrow is my planned 'quit date'. I fucking HATE smoking. Its time to suffer the pain of withdrawal in order to get myself to where I would like to be.
Just gonna push on through and if folks find me insufferable, well, its only temporary. Its gotta be done so its time to stop fuckin' around with excuses and delay.
Its gonna suck but at least I'll be making an effort to get to that spot where I want to be.
There is no easier, softer way.
