xennith1982
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2010
- Messages
- 2
The Five Stages of a Mojo Journey into the next dimension.
This is where I’m supposed to consider my audience that I am writing this paper to. The problem is that I’m not sure who I’m writing to, or why I started writing. I just know that’s what my English Professor told me to do when I was in Psychology classes. So, I’m going to assume it’s stoners… and you’ll relate.
There are five stages to smoking mojo. They are as follows:
1.. The Buzz – this is where you feel drunk, or like your brain just stopped accepting the shipments of oxygen from your lungs over some inter-racial dispute with the government policies, you know?, this is just the beginning. During this stage you might get some paranoia and a little “should I be doing this .. RIGHT NOW” kind of feel. You might start to worry about “how long does this last?” and the more famous “when is this going to be worth my $50 fucking dollars.”. don’t worry man, focus on the bowl and it’ll come back in a second and you can rightfully progress this stage forward to the fun stuff.
2.. The Giddies – this is where almost anything is funny. You wont have uncontrollable laughter if you’re used to smoking such… goods … and you will think “well… I want to laugh, but it wasn’t quite THAT funny.” If you are a beginner, you’ll find that even the most simplest thing such as someone blinking slow is going to be so damned funny your face will swell from the laughter and you’re going to go into Sub BUZZ alpha 9 where your head feels like it’s an over-ripe fucking grape and you’re about to cry grape juice… it is important that you mimic the actions of your friends and not the conversation, because if you try to think really hard, you’ll say something really stupid and your friends are going to go “he’s high as fuck” and then you will gladly accept this and be like, “yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh”. Now I know that someone who has never smoked this before is going to be like, “that doesn’t sound fun” but when you have smoked this before, then that person is going to be like, “dude, I totally know where you are right now.” And the truth in the matter is that all the “vets” will nod and agree that they know where I reside as I write this. In my stage dous mother B. this stage also includes the beginning of state 3…
3.. The Spiritual Connection (Shamanistic Seeing) – This is where you start to find things less funny, and kind of “come down” from your recent adventure through humor-land. This is a new land that has a lot of crazy scientific explanations that are speaking to you in a way that only you can understand. Now before you think that’s crazy, you should try to explain what you saw, but you have to first remember that you have to start it off with “wooooowww, duuuuuudde, let me tell you something…..”. otherwise your fellow stoner friends will not know that you mean serious conversation. (even as I write this I know it sounds absurd, but I’m now in this stage so I know what I’m talking about… mmmkay?) when I first got to this stage on MoJo, I looked down and tried to imagine what was under the crust of the Earth. Duude, I saw a machine run by tiny people and this machine made the world spin and time move forward. And these tiny people were called The Duni, and they got all the tasks of the planet done. (Duni – haha) so I tried to explain it to a friend and he was like “are we a big hamster wheel, man?” and some kind of fucking burnt way, we figured out how we could be. You should really write shit down in this stage… if you can remember. Maybe do what I did and start writing as you start smoking.
4.. The Goldfish Brain – This is truly fucking nuts. It’s like, it takes forever to complete a thought and you have short term memory lost and the subject will change a lot. (Holy shit my letters are floating up above the white background that they are on) Oh, that’s another thing, this stage actually makes you think you are hallucinating when it’s just some funky corporate shit in there that makes you think you are but as soon as you blink it’s like you were… slung out of the matrix kinda feeling. Then it comes back like a vertebrae and says haaaaaaaayyyyyy. You might start to feel a little more of the giddy and you’re like “fuck hey yeah, this is totally doable. I like it…” YOU SHOULD NOW SMOKE ANOTHER BOWL BEEOTCH.
5.. The Stone, or to be Stoned – This is the median or the passing lane. This is when you toke that fucking shit up again you Preston Like <snip>. When you do that, the next time you take this fucking roller coaster, you’ll realize that you can double up the stages. You wanna feel buzzed, and giddy, but do you want to feel like an actual kite or airplane and find it completely hilarious? Then light the fucking bowl! You’ll notice the buzz comes a lot faster, now be the man and play some damn music. Something light and not too fast or too slow. You want something upbeat but not depressing because believe me you have the mental capacity of a 2 year old right now, you’re going to have your mood changed by the music that plays. You should have created a cd sober so that you can control the moods. Whatever you do, don’t listen to a long song because it will go on for like 46 minutes…
6.. This is the dangerous O.D. level called Comatose – You wont move, you wont talk, you will not die, but you wont fucking move, and you don’t care about shit, no one or anything, you just are like a blob of nothing waiting for a command from a higher level… but that shit wont matter because you don’t care about anything, except not being comatosed. You will pray, you might cry, you might throw up. You did way too much man, and you know it. Now I’m making sense for about.. a second and you don’t care. No amount of talking from your peers will sway you from thinking about anything else but NOT being comatosed. Smoking another bowl is NOT the answer Cheech, you’re baked, you done, take you out the oven. Go for a walk, take long pisses, you’re totally not going to sneak past your parents with that equilibrium, good luck, God speed, goodnight.
This is where I’m supposed to consider my audience that I am writing this paper to. The problem is that I’m not sure who I’m writing to, or why I started writing. I just know that’s what my English Professor told me to do when I was in Psychology classes. So, I’m going to assume it’s stoners… and you’ll relate.
There are five stages to smoking mojo. They are as follows:
1.. The Buzz – this is where you feel drunk, or like your brain just stopped accepting the shipments of oxygen from your lungs over some inter-racial dispute with the government policies, you know?, this is just the beginning. During this stage you might get some paranoia and a little “should I be doing this .. RIGHT NOW” kind of feel. You might start to worry about “how long does this last?” and the more famous “when is this going to be worth my $50 fucking dollars.”. don’t worry man, focus on the bowl and it’ll come back in a second and you can rightfully progress this stage forward to the fun stuff.
2.. The Giddies – this is where almost anything is funny. You wont have uncontrollable laughter if you’re used to smoking such… goods … and you will think “well… I want to laugh, but it wasn’t quite THAT funny.” If you are a beginner, you’ll find that even the most simplest thing such as someone blinking slow is going to be so damned funny your face will swell from the laughter and you’re going to go into Sub BUZZ alpha 9 where your head feels like it’s an over-ripe fucking grape and you’re about to cry grape juice… it is important that you mimic the actions of your friends and not the conversation, because if you try to think really hard, you’ll say something really stupid and your friends are going to go “he’s high as fuck” and then you will gladly accept this and be like, “yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh”. Now I know that someone who has never smoked this before is going to be like, “that doesn’t sound fun” but when you have smoked this before, then that person is going to be like, “dude, I totally know where you are right now.” And the truth in the matter is that all the “vets” will nod and agree that they know where I reside as I write this. In my stage dous mother B. this stage also includes the beginning of state 3…
3.. The Spiritual Connection (Shamanistic Seeing) – This is where you start to find things less funny, and kind of “come down” from your recent adventure through humor-land. This is a new land that has a lot of crazy scientific explanations that are speaking to you in a way that only you can understand. Now before you think that’s crazy, you should try to explain what you saw, but you have to first remember that you have to start it off with “wooooowww, duuuuuudde, let me tell you something…..”. otherwise your fellow stoner friends will not know that you mean serious conversation. (even as I write this I know it sounds absurd, but I’m now in this stage so I know what I’m talking about… mmmkay?) when I first got to this stage on MoJo, I looked down and tried to imagine what was under the crust of the Earth. Duude, I saw a machine run by tiny people and this machine made the world spin and time move forward. And these tiny people were called The Duni, and they got all the tasks of the planet done. (Duni – haha) so I tried to explain it to a friend and he was like “are we a big hamster wheel, man?” and some kind of fucking burnt way, we figured out how we could be. You should really write shit down in this stage… if you can remember. Maybe do what I did and start writing as you start smoking.
4.. The Goldfish Brain – This is truly fucking nuts. It’s like, it takes forever to complete a thought and you have short term memory lost and the subject will change a lot. (Holy shit my letters are floating up above the white background that they are on) Oh, that’s another thing, this stage actually makes you think you are hallucinating when it’s just some funky corporate shit in there that makes you think you are but as soon as you blink it’s like you were… slung out of the matrix kinda feeling. Then it comes back like a vertebrae and says haaaaaaaayyyyyy. You might start to feel a little more of the giddy and you’re like “fuck hey yeah, this is totally doable. I like it…” YOU SHOULD NOW SMOKE ANOTHER BOWL BEEOTCH.
5.. The Stone, or to be Stoned – This is the median or the passing lane. This is when you toke that fucking shit up again you Preston Like <snip>. When you do that, the next time you take this fucking roller coaster, you’ll realize that you can double up the stages. You wanna feel buzzed, and giddy, but do you want to feel like an actual kite or airplane and find it completely hilarious? Then light the fucking bowl! You’ll notice the buzz comes a lot faster, now be the man and play some damn music. Something light and not too fast or too slow. You want something upbeat but not depressing because believe me you have the mental capacity of a 2 year old right now, you’re going to have your mood changed by the music that plays. You should have created a cd sober so that you can control the moods. Whatever you do, don’t listen to a long song because it will go on for like 46 minutes…
6.. This is the dangerous O.D. level called Comatose – You wont move, you wont talk, you will not die, but you wont fucking move, and you don’t care about shit, no one or anything, you just are like a blob of nothing waiting for a command from a higher level… but that shit wont matter because you don’t care about anything, except not being comatosed. You will pray, you might cry, you might throw up. You did way too much man, and you know it. Now I’m making sense for about.. a second and you don’t care. No amount of talking from your peers will sway you from thinking about anything else but NOT being comatosed. Smoking another bowl is NOT the answer Cheech, you’re baked, you done, take you out the oven. Go for a walk, take long pisses, you’re totally not going to sneak past your parents with that equilibrium, good luck, God speed, goodnight.
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