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Just want to introduce myself.

Joe_Blow

Joe_Blow

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Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
10
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Hello everyone!

My name is Carmine, I'm from NY. I've been reading this board for over a year now. Have been doing opiates for about 2 years and have been spending at least the last 6 months trying to quit on and off... Unsuccessfully.
But I just wanted to thank everyone on here, you guys have helped me more then you know! Many a night I have spent in agony withdrawing and spent the time reading other people's withdrawal experiences and before I knew it a few hours had gone by! So thanks! I'm not much of a poster, never have been but I felt the need to let you guys know that you've helped me immensely. So as of right now I'm down do about 120 - 180 mg oxy (in various forms, really whatever I can get my hands on.. Percocet, OxyContin blues or op's) from about 300 - 600 mg a day. I don't get high from the 120 - 180 mg I'm taking now its just so I don't get sick. I'm waiting for my insurance to take effect which should be November 1st so I can go to a doctor and have Suboxone prescribed. I've thought about going through the withdrawal and go opiate free but the reason I started taking opiates in the first place was because of really bad RLS that I have (which was not opiate related) I was diagnosed with RLS about 3 years ago and tried all the RLS drugs but their side effect were awful, then i found opiates and WOW! Kinda wish I never did lol.. Well anyway the Suboxone takes away the RLS and will stop the withdrawal... Just have to wait till insurance kicks in.. Ok so I've talked enough, I'll stop boring you guys now. But thanks again!! And I hope that I can also help other people the way you guys have helped me!
 
Hey, great that you are making progress lowering dosage. My brother is going thru the same thing (minus the RLS) and it seems to be very very hard. And dont make the mistake of getting addicted to the suboxone, i've watched one of my friends go down the subutex/suboxone road and it isn't pretty.

I'm guessing you have tried cannabis for your RLS?

wish u the best of luck. pz.
 
Thanks for the reply Rawrer,
I actually haven't smoked in years as I get randomly drug tested. I get away with the oxy because I have a prescription. I know what you mean about getting addicted to the suboxone but my planning to go on it indefinitely because it completely eliminates my RLS. I was taking it for about several months at one point before I ran out and know how torturous the withdrawal from the Subs can be. What I did was switch over to another opiate (Oxy) for a few months and then started tapering on that. Ugh I guess the worst feeling is when I think about being a slave to a pill or a sublingual film the rest of my life, it's so unsettling thinking that I have to take something on a regular schedule and if I miss a dose I have to deal with withdrawal. I spend hours up at night going back and forth between the idea of getting completely off opiates and then dealing with the torture of RLS which I have so bad that its in my arms and legs and 24 hours a day and the other solution of staying on Suboxone for the rest of my life. It sucks!
I wish your brother the best of luck as well!
 
Speaking as someone who has kicked the habit of OC, and then heroin a few years later (trust me, it took a LONG time), but am now addicted to Subutex, I can understand where you're coming from. Getting clean (and STAYING) clean is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life. But whether you are using, or sober, we WILL be there for you. Just keep us posted (no pun intended), and we will be there for you. BL was like a family to me through my struggle, and we will be to you as well. Welcome to the family!
 
100unit speaks! Your posts are so rare they have their own value. :)

JoeBlow, I'm going to ask you what people often ask me.

What is up with your screen name?
 
Thanks a100unitSHOT! I've been reading the board regularly and the posts have helped me so much that I felt the need to join and participate, something I've rarely ever done and I'm sure I will get the support I need and hope to give back that support to others as well! Will def keep posted as I may use you guys as a crutch for a bit as I see many people have and it's helped them! I need help! As far as the Subs I don't know what else to do.. The way I look at it I'm gunna need something to help me with the RLS and Subs will do the job and not keep me high 24/7. As nice as it sounds I just don't see any doctor giving me hardcore opiates for something like RLS and at this point I'm dependent on them so if I don't have them in my system 24/7 I start feeling crappy then a day later the RLS comes back with a vengeance. So the plan is Subs everyday for the rest of my life... What do you guys think about this? Am I making a mistake? Is there anyone who's been on them for a long time and plan on staying on them and having no real negative impact? I'm kinda a noob at the whole opiate thing (only been about 2 years)
 
Ugly, back in the day in my late teens early 20's I was a huge coke head, the "wheel a water cooler jug full of pennies" to your dealer type lol and that was right around the time when AOL and its chat rooms were getting big and that was my screen name I had, lol I thought I was so clever. Anyway around my mid 20's enough was enough and 3 days before Christmas one year I built up the courage to walk into my bosses boss' office plopped down on the chair in front of her took a deep breath and exhaled "I have a drug problem" by far the hardest thing I've ever done, even harder then what happened next... she said she would helped me and she did, she called down to my companies medical office amd after Christmas I was called down there and was sent away to "the farm" for thirty days. I must admit I was naive cause if I k we I had to go away for 30 days I wouldn't have told her. In my stupidity I thought they would do some outpatient thing. But none the less I went away and did relapse a year later and went back to the farm but since that first relapse haven't touched coke since almost 8 years now. And that is a solid 8 years of being sober. This opiate thing totally blindsided me man I was not expecting this... I just went to the doc for these weird tingling pains in my arms and got a script for Perc's and OMG love at first sight. But opiates aren't like coke... After going on a 6 month coke binge you sleep for a week and walk away. Yeah I wish that was even remotely true with opiates. And this stuff is LEGAl! Ugh anyway we learn from our mistakes and I'm in the middle of learning and paying the price right now!

So anyway that's my long winded explanation of Joe_Blow with a lot of other extra info you didn't ask for lol.
 
a100unitSHOT said:
Speaking as someone who has kicked the habit of OC, and then heroin a few years later (trust me, it took a LONG time), but am now addicted to Subutex, I can understand where you're coming from. Getting clean (and STAYING) clean is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life. But whether you are using, or sober, we WILL be there for you. Just keep us posted (no pun intended), and we will be there for you. BL was like a family to me through my struggle, and we will be to you as well. Welcome to the family!
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Oh and forgot, Congrats on kicking the OC and Heroin man! That shit ain't easy, even if it is switching over to subs.
 
Joe_Blow said:
I'm sure I will get the support I need and hope to give back that support to others as well! Will def keep posted as I may use you guys as a crutch for a bit as I see many people have and it's helped them!
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Using BLers as a crutch is fine, as long as we help you! Take advantage of us as much as you can!

Joe_Blow said:
So the plan is Subs everyday for the rest of my life... What do you guys think about this? Am I making a mistake?
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I can't answer that accurately since I don't take them for the same reason you do... but I can say is that Subs are better than any other opiate... Hopefully someone else with the same problem will answer (and I'm sure they will). Again, good luck!
 
Yea, anyone who gets past a heroin addiction has been through some desperate feelings and I have much respect for a person who can handle it. I had a friend that I was very emotionally attached to who used heroin. I saw him suffer so much that I suffered too.

Our friendship suffered. His addiction to heroin was probably the most intense situation I've ever watched anyone go through. He was often sick, often vomiting. He stole, pawned or otherwise made quick and indecent paper to pay for his heroin. Every decision he made each and every day became increasingly focused on heroin. He was a strong character and heroin took his character from him like it was an easy thing to do. I learned to fear heroin, seeing my friend collapse to it's charms.

So cheers to getting off of heroin, because it seems almost an impossibility.
 
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ugly said:
Yea, anyone who gets past a heroin addiction has been through some desperate feelings and I have much respect for a person who can handle it. I had a friend that I was very emotionally attached to who used heroin. I saw him suffer so much that I suffered too.

Our friendship suffered. His addiction to heroin was probably the most intense situation I've ever watched anyone go through. He was often sick, often vomiting. He stole, pawned or otherwise made quick and indecent paper to pay for his heroin. Every decision he made each and every day became increasingly focused on heroin. He was a strong character and heroin took his character from him like it was an easy thing to do. I learned to fear heroin, seeing my friend collapse to it's charms.

So cheers to getting off of heroin, because it seems almost an impossibility.
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I agree! And congrats to your friend and you for sticking around as most people don't. Your friend is lucky to have you.
 
Did I leave out the part about our friendship being taken hostage by heroin?
 
Nah, it's all in the past. We can't change the past.

I don't know about you but I look back in amazement.

That we have survived to tell of our pasts is a miracle, when you really think about it.

I'm glad you got off the coke and sorry you got on opiates.
 
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