Mental Health just want to be my old self again......

[tropicalpalmtree]

in the past 4 months, i can fairly say my life has took a catastophic turn for the worst. everyday from the time i wake up till the time i go to bed i feel really depressed and anxious and its effecting my life. im 18, and before all this came about i must admit i abused the f**k out of stimulant drugs, and smoked alot of weed daily for about 3 years. ive always felt abit anxious from time to time, but all in all i was a happy person, id get real psyched if something good was going on, and would always be lively around my friends.

but since a few months ago shit has changed. i got what i believe to be tinnitus (not sure it was drug related was a really sudden onset) back in november and it all started there. my mindset changed, all i could think was negative thoughts and that this ringing would last a long time. i still have it now but it barely bothers me and until i actually think about it, i dont notice it at all, but the anxiety has shot to its highest and i feel really depressed 24/7. i then got what appears to be hppd symptoms after a shroom trip last month and since then i feel so hopeless and down im looking for help. ive stopped drugs completely for the time being, having been at least a month since i last had a joint (bit of a pain tbh ) for what i think is to my own benefit.

ive been to the doctors and they literally looked straight through me, wouldnt even prescribe me medication because i stupidly told this gp that id been drinking loads of alcohol since, so i really dont know where to turn until i see another gp in a few weeks and have been taking my mums bedranols and propranolols from time to time but doesnt really change the way i feel. i really hope someone can relate to this, and how to help my problems and/or what medication worked for helping get through anxiety and depression the best? benzo perhaps?

sorry for the long thread

 

[lonewolf05]

You've damaged your body's natural chemical balance. At 18 I definitely would say it's repairable with enough time. Stopping all drugs is a good first step. The second step would be to start exercising regularly. Join a gym, start doing cardio and weight training. That will help get your CNS back to a balanced level and produce natural endorphines to help the depression. As far as supplements go, I would try just a basic multi-vitamin coupled with valarian root extract for mood support. Good luck on feeling better. Remember, time heals all.

 

[rickolasnice]

Yeah man just give yourself time.

No drugs.
Healthy diet.
Regular, decent sleep.
Regular exercise.

Trust me. I've been there. I'm not anymore

Best of luck

 

[SkagKush]

Hey tropicalpalmtree!

I want to say that it sounds like stopping the use of drugs at this point in time is a great idea, especially stimulants as they can exacerbate the symptoms that you are having. Lonewolf and rickolasnice also hit the nail on the head. Getting into a healthy routine will be key for you in this time of struggle.

I also wanted to say that i relate to your worries with HPPD. I used LSD heavily for several years, and experienced HPPD for several months after i stopped. It may cause worry, but for me it went away with time.

Best of luck!

 

[RedRum OG]

My best advice is to live like a hippie. Except for the weed smoking.

Be happy, love nature, exercise, eat healthy, stay away from all drugs

Good luck. Every second you're not drinking or getting stoned is a second your body uses to get back to normsl

 

[kace]

Don't go down the benzo route- they'll just make your anxiety x100 worse in the long term.

 

[herbavore]

Don't go down the benzo route- they'll just make your anxiety x100 worse in the long term.

+10000000!

People turn to drugs trying to medicate for anxiety, either through self-medicating with illegal drugs or getting them from doctors legally, but in the end these very drugs have a worsening effect. In addition to the physiological effects (increased tolerance, changed receptors, unwanted side effects, addiction) there is the simple fact that you are robbing yourself of the normal and natural opportunities that life gives you to grow strong within. Adversity is what makes us strong. Adversity is always going to be a part of life. We are emotional creatures and emotions are unpredictable and make us very vulnerable. No matter how hard we run from them, there they are. Far better to experience them, get to know yourself, and learn to balance rational thought with emotional reaction.

Getting out into nature more was a great suggestion. Nature is a healer on so many levels.

 

[RobotRipping]

i think you're just feeling the result of stimulant use, along with cannabis and psychs can really fuck you in the head after a while. At 18, you will face a lot of anxiety anyway and these drugs in particular can really bring it out. I'd avoid tripping until you are completely stable, it's so much better that way and definitely do not go anywhere near a stimulant.

You will recover from the drug use but 18-25 is when people start to develop anxiety/depression/mental illness but you won't really know that is the case until you stop using drugs, especially alcohol, that's going to make things a lot worse. And yeah a Dr. probably won't do much for you at 18 medication wise. My anxiety didn't really get out of hand until i was 18, i didn't start benzos until i was 23, and those 5 years my anxiety really affected my life and i wish i would have just gotten therapy at 18 instead of at 25, after going the benzo route.

i really do think some people need benzos or some anxiolytic to function normally, and in time i bet science will back this up with evidence that people with anxiety disorders have some sort of imbalance with their neurochemistry that warrants benzo or anxiolytic use. I feel like i am one of those people and honestly i function better as a human being on etizolam than when i am constantly struggling with anxiety/DP/DR/HPPD.

My advice is to exhaust every other possible avenue for help, including therapy, nature, changing your lifestyle, making goals, going to school and seeking novel experiences (like travelling or skydiving, or scuba diving) before jumping on the benzo train. If all else fails then maybe you are just one of those people who need them, there's no shame in that. Even on benzos you'll still have to deal with your issues and anxiety it'll just be more manageable.

i have to disagree with herb on some points, even if you are on benzos daily for anxiety (not abusing the shit out of them), you can still challenge yourself and face adversity, it's not like these drugs make you a zombie that feels nothing. In my case, they allow me to seek out challenges and experiences that i could never face without them. I would never have learned any social skills in my adult life without using benzos to break that barrier and allow me to communicate, after using them i can use those learned skills and am better able to deal with social situations, to the point where i don't even have a problem talking to strangers or doing presentations, something which used to scare me to death.

 

[kace]

^
I wish I just went and got therapy too. Benzos= good for short term, so terribly bad and addictive and shitty with the opposite effects in the long term. Being physically dependent on them sucks, benzo withdrawals suck, it seems worth taking them in the short term (before they were helping me function so much- socialise, get jobs, meet people, go out, etc) but long term they can screw anyone over.. then it's a longgg way back to feeling like a normal human being.

 

[LilbabiC]

Do you have a productive life? If not get a job or go to school. Keep busy and surround yourself with positive people. Positive people give off great vibes and they soon rub off on you. Most importantly exercise alot and eat healthy. Make sure you get plenty of sleep. Two things that have really helped me with depression are yoga and meditation. Good luck and stay strong.

 

[Pagey]

Your doctors were definitely right not to prescribe you any medication, I can't emphasise that enough, especially seeing as you seem to have an addictive personality. Using benzos for depression is the worst idea in the world and trust me, if you think you're depressed now, you can't imagine what it'll be like after a benzo addiction.
If you deal with your depression the healthy way, ie without any meds, you'll get out of it way better and way stronger. Also consider the fact that since you've only been clean a month, this has probably a lot to do with your feeling so down.
Try to really focus on yourself and take care of yourself - regular sleeping hours, eating healthy, lots of exercise. It really makes a difference. Also socialising and keeping busy so that you can't be alone with your thoughts too much.

 

[tropicalpalmtree]

Do you have a productive life? If not get a job or go to school. Keep busy and surround yourself with positive people. Positive people give off great vibes and they soon rub off on you. Most importantly exercise alot and eat healthy. Make sure you get plenty of sleep. Two things that have really helped me with depression are yoga and meditation. Good luck and stay strong.

i do have a productive life to be fair, did ok in my a-levels, and have got a job that brings me plenty of hours of work and when im there i kind of forget about the shit im going through atm temporarily. and as for friends, i have fucking great ones i cannot stress, they are really good and positive people, but yeah im trying to get in a good sleep pattern, going to start doing weights and start eating properly to make up for my weight loss. thanks mate!

can i just say thanks to everyone that posted up on this, great and helpful people, thanks to you all

 

[mrflowers00]

it can take years of sobriety before you feel like your old self again but it's so worth it

 

[jaspersilence]

Might I recommend,Amitriptyline...I was prescribed for pain,and it really balanced out my depression.Low doses,just to ease your way back to normal