Just joined. Hope to get some help here because I am planning to go to the end.

SlidingDown

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2012
Messages
7
That is my introduction. Help? Planning to go to the end of this life as I know it.
 
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Well, ijustrad the thread on the Kanna, Kratom plants and I am psyched. All the antidepressants have stopped helping me! I take pain meds to get a bit of enthusiasm for life. I decided to go ahead and start wrapping this up, cleaning my stuff ordering things so no one will have to do it when I die. This is what I am now living for..if I don't find some help, other meds, I am not going to make it much longer!
 
SlidingDown, I'm so sorry that you've been feeling so low. Situations differ, but I do know how it feels to be at that final point and ready to give up. Do you have anyone in your life that knows what is going on and you can talk to about how you're feeling? Personally, I put off talking about my feeling for entirely too long because I didn't want to burden anyone but as a last resort I did reach out and was surprised at how much people really do care. You can still turn things around and your life is still worth living. Please just wait and see what life has in store for you.

I'm going to move this over to The Dark Side where more people will see your thread and be able to offer some support and compassion. If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. I hope things work out for you and you're able to continue on with life because it really is beautiful, even when it's painful. <3 <3 <3
 
I suggest to not depend on chemicals for your happiness my friend.
but, in the mean time, it sounds like they can help you get out of the rut you are in.
kratom is a very good antidepresant. so is poppy seed tea . be sure to read all about them if you decide to take them.
dont focus on the end or ending it. focus on positive things!
you can't change how you feel if you are always focusing on negativetive things and etc.
if you think positive, your mood will change



Well, ijustrad the thread on the Kanna, Kratom plants and I am psyched. All the antidepressants have stopped helping me! I take pain meds to get a bit of enthusiasm for life. I decided to go ahead and start wrapping this up, cleaning my stuff ordering things so no one will have to do it when I die. This is what I am now living for..if I don't find some help, other meds, I am not going to make it much longer!
 
Thank you for responding. I just wrote you a reply and when I went to post it said had to refresh page then all my writing was gone.
 
I have no clue where to get this stuff or how much it costs. And that makes me mad because that gives me hope to know there could be something out there to help me not end it all but I can't get ahold of it!
 
no worries slidingdown. i dont think im allowed to tell you where to buy anything.
i do suggest googling kratom, and poppyseedtea. poppyseedtea is strong tho, it has mophine/codiene/thebaine in it. kratom is way more on the lighter side of things. in fact, PST destroyed my tolerance to kratom. so keep that in mind.

check your PMs slindingdown
 
Anti-depressant's mostly suck imho. The ONLY time i've seen them help someone was when they were prescribed for someone addicted to opiates and used these to help them get their 'personality' back, it didn't make them normal, it made them a different person but in the end helped the user.

Also, about your depression, i'm sorry bro, but drugs only prolong the pain, if not making it worse. It will just mask it until you come down, things change, just remember your life won't be like it is now....hope this helps you out a little.
 
Poppy seed tea ended my son's life. I will never know if he re-dosed or if the dose he took was simply way stronger than he anticipated. Please look for non-drug solutions to the way you are feeling. Before my son died he found relief in meditation and mindfulness training. Have you looked into anything like this? It is natural and sensible to want relief from suffering but sometimes it is the worst thing that you can do to try to numb it away. What is the source/sources? How can you free your thoughts and allow your emotions without fear?
 
Hey SlidingDown, I can empathise as I was in a similar situation to you a few years back, had similar symptoms to you - I think the lack of energy was the worst, some days not even being able to walk a few feet and then the crippling insomnia. I remember vividly being totally sure that I was a burden on the world and everyone would be better off without me which of course was soo wrong, so all I can tell you is that there are people about who will care about you even if they aren't there now, so hang in there, it will get better but I feel your pain.
 
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