just got out of the hospital.. more fucked up than ive ever been in my entire life..

Are you in the states? You shuld look into the ADA. You may have grounds to sue the hospital that treated you. There are very dangerous side effects from withdrawling from certain medications. Actually, I have heard that there have been both more deaths and permanent brain/organ damage due to withdrawls than the addiction itself.
 
Gabapentin, Tramadol, and Phenazepam can all be purchased online without the need for a perscription, and each of these drugs when used in the proper dosages can help out a lot with your w/d.

My recommendation would be to get a mg scale, 100mg of phenazepam, and take .5mg doses no more than once per day as needed along with your prescribed gabapentin. You will need some self-control to do this properly though. Failing to use the phenazepam solely as occasional relief for the w/d could cause you to become addicted once again.

Regarding the gabapentin, most people do not experience significant withdrawal after discontinuation, but a sizable minority have reported horrible withdrawals, so be careful not to use it for too long. I personally found gabapentin w/d to be just as bad as moderate opiate withdrawal, and considerably worse than benzo tapering. As you know though, cold-turkey benzo withdrawal is arguably the worst of them all.

Good luck.
 
thank god for phenibut. i dont feel great but i feel a little relief. why cant i feel pleausre without drugs? my life is so fucked up guys. idk how much more i can take. everyday when i jolt awake i try to figure out how im gonna survive the day. its not about having fun. its about staying alive. keeping sane. every minute is a battle. i get pleausre from nothing. i have this girl thats pretty into me but im too far gone to even care. drugs will never break my heart tho. im a loner, i will always be the outcast william s burroughs type. i wanna be a shaman one day. that would fit me. im all about altering my state. im also very sensitive. but yea is there anybody out there? this life is no longer mine. im pretty strong to have survived all this but its getting colder now. i feel more alone. people are trying to reach out to me but i cant feel them. all i feel is fear. intense fear. every muscle aches and is tight im sweating. and i feel so alone. i just wanna be high, i wanna forget about this life. i wanna be somewhere else, i wanna be someone else. please somebody help me. this pains too much cant take much more

edit: im up to 900 mg of gabapentin but i notice no noticable relief. this is as high as they are gonna give me so i have to deal with it. i have no way of purchasing anything online right now. i think phenezepam would extend my withdrawal even more now. im trying to just be done with this, assuming i dont have permenent damage from coming off the benzos too fast. i hope i dont feel this way forever. the sub withdrawal is done but my anxiety is actually worse than when i was going thru it.
 
I dont understand why they took you of lyrica..lyrica seems to help with withdrawals. Plus its not a narcotic.. What was their reason for taken you off lyrica?
 
Sounds a lot like my last Lyrica WD. Worst 10 days of my life, did feel like I was in some kind of hell. I'd rather withdraw from opiates any day. At least it's more brief and you can feel a definite improvement for every day, but with Lyrica it just goes on and on and on, and feels worse in my opinion. Should def be higher scheduled, but guess they want to make all the money they can of it first.

By the way the solution to detox is gabapentin, cheaper and more avaiable. Take about 2.5-3 times the dose and you won't have any withdrawals. Oh, and if you're using it recreationally there can be a difference between the dose you're using and the dose you're addicted to (if the dose you use is high). Say, if you take 1000 mg per dose, your body isn't addicted to that high amount, but more likely something between 300-600, because there's only so much your body can use. In other words, the dose you need to avoid withdrawals can be different than the dose you need to get high or been using.

This is good news, considering the cost of Lyrica, but very different to how opiates work, where you seem addicted to the dose you're using. Then again you don't tend to get upto as high amounts with that. Anyway, if you up your dose of Neurontin to 2.5 the dose you used to be on Lyrica you might find a great relief of your symptomps. Also, Gabapentin doesn't always work if you take it every day, so you might need to take it every other day or every 3 day to get relief, so maybe save up your doses? Good luck.
 
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Hey whats up duneplanet. You aren't alone bro, I had a huge relapse in the summer, and now I'm withdrawing from both opiates and benzo's again for the 3rd time. Hang in there bud, I know it fucking sucks. Keep your head up. I don't understand why the fuck they would take you off Lyrica. Shit, I take more than i'm prescribed and sometimes goto different docs to get more Lyrica if I need it.

You should see what they do up here in Canada at most treatment centers/detoxes. Give you maybe 4 days of Diazepam, then thats it, straight cut off Benzo's. Doesn't matter how much you were using.
 
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Benzo wd is arguably the worst - feels like you're out of your body and not in a good sense.

Youve been off a few months ya ? So no risk of seizures at this point ?

Mind if I ask why you were on lamictal and lyrica ? I've been pointed at lamictal I don't know how I feel about it.
 
I'm wondering the same thing, lamictal seems pretty hit-or-miss, I'm glad my psych sticks to benzos.

I feel really bad for you man, it does sound like whichever hospital you went to really fucked up and the doctors don't know what they're doing...1mg of buprenorphine doesn't do anything? uh, what?

Taking you off all those meds at once was a really horrible idea. Whatever you think, its not your fault, it's theirs.

I say sue the bastards.
 
im left with this sense of hatred and anger that is not of me. ive been up sinc e5 just thinking about how much i hate my life. hate my mind. there was this girl that was into me but then my anxiety took over and she told someone almost right in front of me that i freaked her out and she regretted kissing me. i have that effect on girls. so i just dipped without saying goodbye cause i refuse to put up with that bullshit. its embarassing tho. my life is a mess. the sleep is whats killing me. im counting down the days til i can get in a nice bupe snort cause reallly opiates are my life and my wife. i have no other reason to live. i prolly have some permenent brain damage. i will never be me again. but opiates will never break my heart. i dont care about myself anymore. time to go on a downward spiral. oh and i lost my best friend.
 
Some doctors here(australia) do flumazenil in hospital treatment for benzo WD because of the bad effects of tapering benzos or stopping suddenly. seizures and psychosis can be scary. hope you can find a decent place that knows what they are doing and treat you properly.
it's still a hard slog on flumazenil and they would probably do the opiates separately, otherwise it's just too much as it's like naloxone for heroin, it blocks the effects. that's for those wanting to quit for good
. Hope you're well, take care
 
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so i made out with this girl at the hospital and like now shes freaked out by me cause of my anxiety. she told the other patients that i scared her and that she regretted kissing me. its sad cause when she touched me my anxiety went away. all i really need is affection. all i am is nice and caring to girls and im treated like im ted bundy or some shit. idk its really just another brick in the wall. i will always be alone. my friends drop like flies. no one wants to put up with me. but deep down im a kind compassionate person who deserves better. but i have bigger problems/ with every breath i take i pray for death. this anxiety is unbearable. every minute is a fight. its not about enjoying shit. its all about survival. its ok tho cause opiates will always be there for me. and music. pink floyd understands. i am the guy in the wall. losing his mind. also i think i may be becoming psychotic. im getting very strange thoughts. i had thoughts of people plotting against me and other schizo shit that isnt right. please god let me stay sane. i used to be a funny persont aht was fun to be around. this benzo withdrawal has taken my personality and i worry iw ont get it back. i miss that girl too.
 
guys i decided to be a badass and i flushed all my suboxone down the toilet. shit was making me see more demons than i already do. im gonna have to face this sober.
 
if you walk into the ER of a hospital with a behavioral health unit ideally, and tell them your situation and that you are going to commit suicide, you have a plan to do so, and intend to act on it, you will get help.

better that than randomly taking a bunch of OTC drugs.

course, it helps to get lucky and go to the right hospital.
 
guys i decided to be a badass and i flushed all my suboxone down the toilet. shit was making me see more demons than i already do. im gonna have to face this sober.

Good luck dude. May i recommend maybe trying Kratom instead?
 
im getting some kratom soon. took some done today but it didnt do anything,. on phenibut too. dont feel much. ive been hallucinating guys. i think im losing my mind.
 
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