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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Just fucked up...

T

THECATINTHEHAT

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
8,169
...my first day 100% clean that I can remember (ime 24). What a cock.

Tomorrow WILL be the one.
 
Yes owen, tell us a bit more about what's going on. We're here for ya mate <3
 
Jfk detoxing from methadone but the last I had of that was on Thursday. Had used loads of benzos, a little DHC and a tiny bit of bupe, today was supposed to be first day 100% abstinent. However a series of coincidental and trivial events lead to me using right at the end of the day. No worries though, tomorrow WILL be the one (and I still will have done it far faster than in a rehab).
 
I went from pot addition to alcohol use, to severe alcohol abuse, to cigarette addiction, to addition to self discovery/gaining personalinsight via reading, to traditional drug/alcohol tx to the degree I would consider it an 'addiction' (with continued self discovery), to sex addiction, to coke addiction, to smoking addiction, to exercize addiction, to food addiction, to exercize addiction, to sex addiction,... to eating healthy (or so I thought, actually missing some key components) addiction, to weight lifting and steroid addiction, to helping others addiction (actually this was spattered in throughout much of the past addictioins mentioned), to cigarette addiction, to e-cigarette addiction, to subutex addiction...where I'm at now, best I've been yet. Also addiction to anti-government libertarianism mixed in the much of the whole time, in particular anti-drug war addiction.

Addiction be a funny thing. Also had a period of work addiction in there spattered for a while, and spending and living a flashy life addiction mixed with the sex addiction and coke addiction... Are there any good one's I've missed? Goal is 'normal living addiction' 'contentment living, non-addiction'. Actualy started out with being a looser addiction as a kid.

Oh yeah, I forgot, following the 'being a looser as a kid addiction' I went to 'hating my parents addiction' then 'hating the world addiction' those were co- existing with the pot addiction and the severe alcohol abuse addiction (where the transition from hating parents to hating the world addiction happened).

Oh yeah, also had an unconscious death wish addiction during the severe alcohol abuse addiction phase.

Oh yeah, now I also have the 'being a good dad' addiction co-existing with the subutex addiction and they are BOTH great! And still have the 'helping others' addiction but it's not to the level of an 'addiction' in that it's not a compulsion or distraction from taking care of myself and my life and my family.

.... I'll probably remember some more if I don't pass out first lol...

oh yeah, I had a self-education to investing and successfullly investing addiction that preceeded my coke and living the fast life addiction and also a self educating myself count cards and counting cards at blackjack then same with poker, both financially profitable addictions prior to my 2nd cocaine addiction....

Mostly not fun lol
Peace,
Titus
 
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Wait till the day you relapes. It feels way worse. But I know your pain all too well. Stay strong and faith will follow you! much love!
 
Elkat13 said:
Wait till the day you relapes. It feels way worse. But I know your pain all too well. Stay strong and faith will follow you! much love!
Click to expand...

I've been addicted to opiates, got clean and relapsed many times before. This time I'm leaving it all behind.
 
Way to go dude. Hoping you can keep pushing on through multiple days, you can achieve it :)
 
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