Anxiety Just feeling really helpless today...

[I'm-Still-Alive]

So, I left my job for my boyfriend because it was really close to my plug's place. I was very happy at that job. But now, I have no job. He wants me to work from home. I am trying to find a job as soon as possible. It's been really difficult. I feel really hopeless. I am struggling a lot mentally today and just want to curl up and cry. But I can't. We have his nephew here to babysit. I have to just buck up and deal with it. I don't know what I expect from posting. I just want to vent, I guess.

 

[daturetard]

So your bf made you quit cause he can't have his girlfriend work close to the plug? Does he not know there's drug dealers everywhere?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

We're happy to receive your venting! Can you tell us a little more about the situation?

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

So your bf made you quit cause he can't have his girlfriend work close to the plug? Does he not know there's drug dealers everywhere?

Yeah, I quit because I had used a couple of times and he didn't like that my job was close to my plug's place. He is very naive when it comes to drugs/drug dealers, etc. I could get coke here if I wanted as well. Shit, I have someone who's willing to deliver it for a fee. But that's neither here nor there. Yeah, he made me quit, essentially. I also couldn't afford to keep ubering in to work every day ($25 1 way), even though he had promised he would take me in and pick me up three days a week, but it never ended up happening. He only took me in once and picked me up once. Out of the month that he had his car back. It's frustrating. I didn't have anything set up before I quit, and now I need to find something ASAP or else I'm not gonna be able to pay all of my bills. He's covering rent but he expects me to cover gas/electric, phone bills, etc. And I'm now being forced to go to outpatient weekly (still having to Uber-- so spending $50 total per week for this) to make him happy. My money is dwindling FAST.

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

We're happy to receive your venting! Can you tell us a little more about the situation?

I had used coke a couple of times-- just wanted to... And my boyfriend knew and wanted me to quit my job. In order to keep the relationship, I did. But I wanted to find something first and he said that that wasn't necessary and I could work on finding something while I was gone from there. He tried to get me to quit SOOO many times after I gave my 2 weeks, but it would have made me look so unprofessional (I work in Human Services, case management, counseling, etc.) I really care about leaving on good terms. I also was struggling with paying to Uber to and from because it's $25 one way. I have so little money, I am crossing all my fingers and toes to get a job. He wants me to work from home because he also works from home like 75% of the time... He'd be able to know that I haven't used. I don't know. It's stressing me out and I have to get a job. I just don't want to settle for some bullshit job that isn't in my field. I want to do something that makes me feel fulfilled in life. I've spent years working on my degrees and certifications.

 

[neversickanymore]

Idk your situation, but big time red flags for possible control issues in your man. Why was it so urgent you quit your job. Removing a persons ability and financial independence are key goals of controlling someone. Using your drug use as "justification" could be classic victim blaming. Id really step back for a second and look at this. Having you "work" from home isolates you and subjects you to increasing amounts and levels of abuse and manipulation and severs your contact with support that will be able to logically see whats really going on and help you get out.

NSFW:

the process is progressive..

I'd consider.. no I would take a step back and jump to a safe location and take a week to examine your current relationship. You have nothing to lose.. If your relationship is healthy and strong you can easily return to it. If it's potentially a dangeriouyse situation a week away may give you the opportunity to recognize this and potentially escape.

Hopelessness in a victim is the number one goal of abusers that desire coercive control.

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

Idk your situation, but big time red flags for possible control issues in your man. Why was it so urgent you quit your job. Removing a persons ability and financial independence are key goals of controlling someone. Using your drug use as "justification" could be classic victim blaming. Id really step back for a second and look at this. Having you "work" from home isolates you and subjects you to increasing amounts and levels of abuse and manipulation and severs your contact with support that will be able to logically see whats really going on and help you get out.

NSFW:

the process is progressive..

I'd consider.. no I would take a step back and jump to a safe location and take a week to examine your current relationship. You have nothing to lose.. If your relationship is healthy and strong you can easily return to it. If it's potentially a dangeriouyse situation a week away may give you the opportunity to recognize this and potentially escape.

Hopelessness in a victim is the number one goal of abusers that desire coercive control.

Unfortunately, I can tick off quite a few of those boxes. But things are amazing when they’re going well. It’s just when things aren’t great…

 

[Asclepius]

...that's where you get your metal, sweetheart Don't ever knock it/you down through it. It'll be your best friend for life, if you stick through it




( Sorry for trite, former video, PTSD also isn't comparable so, best to get real- don't let yourself get weak; entire industries willing to take advantage of the latter)

 

[washingtonbound]

No offense but bf sounds horribly controlling and more like a parental figure. He cannot force you to quit your job over something like that, sounds ridiculous