DooMMooD
Bluelighter
Hello all! TL:DR PLEASE read the review and give me input onto my ability to review movies! Specific input i am most seeking most : what aspects I need to cover MORE/LESS OF in my review, what I did well, what I need to nix, etc. Review my review!
In case you're unaware, i am a very big film/television buff, having worked in a movie store for many years and taking several classes on the topics. I go to the movies every week (or almost every week) with friends, catching the once a week 33% off night. Me and one of my friends who attends the showings with me have discussed starting our own review site for all the movies we see (since we try and see well above the average individual, in fact I try and match Ebert every week! haha), and I figured here would be a good place for first thoughts/input before I create a site just for our writings.
This review is my first written on a PC, and was written entirely in NOTEPAD, not MS word, not open office, Notepad, so I apologize for any grammar/spelling (although being raised by an english major my mother beat grammar into me from the age of 4). But I wanted input from some of y'all before I start doing this every week, as I said, so guys please feel free to be critical of me being critical
I know it is probably not long enough, that much I'm aware of. The next one will be done in open office and I will make it much longer.
John Carter-Review
When a movie is designed around the entire premise of being so much larger than life, the film in all of its aspects should be that big. Yet John Carter, despite literally being larger than life, fails to achieve the epic story and feel that a movie such as LOTR achieves. John Carter tries too hard to be too epic, and since it falls short of actually being epic, it instead comes off as cobbled together mix of movies that one would consider epic.
Seemingly if the LOTR, Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Harry Potter film trilogies all had a love child, this would be it. But, as stated, the movie tries too hard to be epic, and it shows. Instead of naturally becoming a truly larger than life story, the vast feel the movie makers attempted to pull off is instead contained and shrank by the standard, by the book (and I dont mean this in a good, following the source material sense) main plot: the little guys get pushed around, find a reluctant ex soldier who no longer wishes to fight but will certainly win them the battle, is convinced to do so by generic sexy Princess of the side the hero joins, and they prevail with the help of the "inferior" technology and civilization, showing how the little, repressed 'backwards' group can emerge victorious over the larger, more technologically advanced group. In fact, were it not for the somewhat interesting, yet all too predictable, final twist, this movie would seem to be an almost point for point rip off of Avatar. The group of "barbarians" ends up with the warrior who wins it all for the love of his female leader/princess/warrior counterpart. Sound familiar? If it does, it is because it has been done a million times before, and better as well.
Yes, John Carter does have some solid action sequences, but the fancy-schmancy 3D tech and CGI shots of giant future-but-not-future steam punk space ships cannot save Mr Carter from a predictable, lazy plot, with inconsistent pacing. Much of the movies action was crammed into one segment, and the rest had the good action parts spaced out poorly. Had the pacing been better, perhaps too, would the plot itself have benefited; the over the top size and "action" could have been the highlight of the movie, and should have been. Instead, the poor plot is what is sadly put on the pedastel, which does not shine brightly. Sadly, it is stretched out over a showing time is way too long because of pacing being so uneven: while you sit waiting half an hour for SOMETHING interesting to happen, instead alls the viewer is treated to is a cheesy joke about the dog-alien that follows John. And what could have been well done, cheeky humor nicely sprinkled throughout the movie, does not coincide with the rest of the feel and almost has a flat effect. While the humor could have went along well with some over the top action, is instead dragged down by yet again the poorly paced plot, and makes it feel almost as if the jokes are crammed in in order to remind you that the action was the only thing this movie had going for it, as the story itself was phoned in. The jokes the characters make almost seem to be the actors feelings regarding the movie: somewhat cheesy, 'meh' timing, and all done to draw attention away from the larger problems.
What could have been made to truly be an epic, over the top, action packed movie based off of good source material instead becomes a somewhat OK action flick that tries so hard to be "epic", that it epicly fails to do so.
C+
Bottom line: There are a few nice action shots, and the cheezy humor can be nice at points. But the buttom line is that it is ALL overdone "to be larger than life", in order to compensate its plot, which tries so hard to be epic, akin to LOTR, yet instead falls flat on the face of predictability.
In case you're unaware, i am a very big film/television buff, having worked in a movie store for many years and taking several classes on the topics. I go to the movies every week (or almost every week) with friends, catching the once a week 33% off night. Me and one of my friends who attends the showings with me have discussed starting our own review site for all the movies we see (since we try and see well above the average individual, in fact I try and match Ebert every week! haha), and I figured here would be a good place for first thoughts/input before I create a site just for our writings.
This review is my first written on a PC, and was written entirely in NOTEPAD, not MS word, not open office, Notepad, so I apologize for any grammar/spelling (although being raised by an english major my mother beat grammar into me from the age of 4). But I wanted input from some of y'all before I start doing this every week, as I said, so guys please feel free to be critical of me being critical
I know it is probably not long enough, that much I'm aware of. The next one will be done in open office and I will make it much longer.John Carter-Review
When a movie is designed around the entire premise of being so much larger than life, the film in all of its aspects should be that big. Yet John Carter, despite literally being larger than life, fails to achieve the epic story and feel that a movie such as LOTR achieves. John Carter tries too hard to be too epic, and since it falls short of actually being epic, it instead comes off as cobbled together mix of movies that one would consider epic.
Seemingly if the LOTR, Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Harry Potter film trilogies all had a love child, this would be it. But, as stated, the movie tries too hard to be epic, and it shows. Instead of naturally becoming a truly larger than life story, the vast feel the movie makers attempted to pull off is instead contained and shrank by the standard, by the book (and I dont mean this in a good, following the source material sense) main plot: the little guys get pushed around, find a reluctant ex soldier who no longer wishes to fight but will certainly win them the battle, is convinced to do so by generic sexy Princess of the side the hero joins, and they prevail with the help of the "inferior" technology and civilization, showing how the little, repressed 'backwards' group can emerge victorious over the larger, more technologically advanced group. In fact, were it not for the somewhat interesting, yet all too predictable, final twist, this movie would seem to be an almost point for point rip off of Avatar. The group of "barbarians" ends up with the warrior who wins it all for the love of his female leader/princess/warrior counterpart. Sound familiar? If it does, it is because it has been done a million times before, and better as well.
Yes, John Carter does have some solid action sequences, but the fancy-schmancy 3D tech and CGI shots of giant future-but-not-future steam punk space ships cannot save Mr Carter from a predictable, lazy plot, with inconsistent pacing. Much of the movies action was crammed into one segment, and the rest had the good action parts spaced out poorly. Had the pacing been better, perhaps too, would the plot itself have benefited; the over the top size and "action" could have been the highlight of the movie, and should have been. Instead, the poor plot is what is sadly put on the pedastel, which does not shine brightly. Sadly, it is stretched out over a showing time is way too long because of pacing being so uneven: while you sit waiting half an hour for SOMETHING interesting to happen, instead alls the viewer is treated to is a cheesy joke about the dog-alien that follows John. And what could have been well done, cheeky humor nicely sprinkled throughout the movie, does not coincide with the rest of the feel and almost has a flat effect. While the humor could have went along well with some over the top action, is instead dragged down by yet again the poorly paced plot, and makes it feel almost as if the jokes are crammed in in order to remind you that the action was the only thing this movie had going for it, as the story itself was phoned in. The jokes the characters make almost seem to be the actors feelings regarding the movie: somewhat cheesy, 'meh' timing, and all done to draw attention away from the larger problems.
What could have been made to truly be an epic, over the top, action packed movie based off of good source material instead becomes a somewhat OK action flick that tries so hard to be "epic", that it epicly fails to do so.
C+
Bottom line: There are a few nice action shots, and the cheezy humor can be nice at points. But the buttom line is that it is ALL overdone "to be larger than life", in order to compensate its plot, which tries so hard to be epic, akin to LOTR, yet instead falls flat on the face of predictability.
