my 15yrs of addiction has cost me a lot, and took me to the pits of hell. during the peak of my addiction, i went to prison for 4yrs from a heroin addiction, i stole from everyone, my mothers own purse, my parents ATM card, stealing out of stores, jumping over counters to the register, a whole bunch of shit. i really wish i had the patience to sit and write how much pain this lifestyle has cost me (but i feel due to my drug use, my brain isnt the same, and i have issues ADHD like symptoms where i cant focus for too long on a thread or even simply write out a job resume). 14 is when i started getting high, right now im 27yrs old with NOTHING TO SHOW. i sold my car for crack/cocaine (me and my fiance's car, and we needed that car for our 1yr son at the time), me and my fiance are stuck in a co-dependent relationship with 2 kids, and were literaly on the verge of getting out parental rights terminated with grandma having custody..i feel no "epiphany" right now, im lazy, emotionally i feel like a 10yr old, im just miserable. i wish i never ever started drugs...i been on suboxone/methadone on and off for 6yrs, only to prolonge my addiction. its sad. i wish i can smack myself across the head and stop it. i knew i was different/addict before i picked up the drug. i used to steal my dads painkillers and benzos all the time, thank god he never called the cops. one time i dragged his safe out the house, and smashed it, and cut my hand wide open from the metal, and come to find out he had all the narctocs in his car, what an ass i felt..for not finding narctoics, and lastly the guilt of doing that..this was years ago..now im just lazy and have no motivation to do good except feed the codependency with my fiance and her habit, and see my kids when i can...drugs SUCK