i have been a member here for nine years. that is a crazy long time to pissy on a message board. and it is even crazier to think about how bluelight has become such a part of my life. and the amount of things that have changed since i first joined.
when i joined i was a junior in college. i had found the site awhile before when i first rolled and occasionally checked it when i was bored late at night. i remember reading several posts by dr. suess in TDS and deciding to register to ask a question pertaining to a friend. i was constantly amazed by that was given and i wanted to know how to be that supportive without becoming depressed myself. many of the things my friend and i discussed were things i struggled with too.
i didn't really post for awhile after that altho i still lurked. i liked life (now SO) and i occasionally posted in the lounge. i also started keeping a journal on here. around 04, i went thru a period where i questioned my relationship with my partner. there was another person creeping into the picture. BL was a place i could talk about things without fear that it would get back to my partner. he was fairly aware of what was going on but i felt weird talking to friends because almost all our friends were mutual friends at the time.
i also started posting in the lounge around that time. between posting to my journal and interacting with people in the lounge, i was beginning to know some people pretty well. in the spring of 05, someone suggested an ohio meetup. somehow i convinced my partner to drive down to columbus with me to meet my internet friends. he knew i liked to post on BL but had very little idea what it was. the meetup was pretty eclectic. after that, BL became much more of a social site.
some time after that initial meetup, i began meeting and hanging out with more BLers. at first, i kept my real life friends separate from my BL friends. but i started becoming good friends with with some BLers and they began to meet my real life friends. and some of my real life friends began posting on BL.
when i became a mod, i got sucked into the politics of BL. i don't feel like getting into that here because i think it has died down but nepotism used to be pretty rampant. and then there was all sorts of random drama because most of the BLers i knew in real life were also on staff. and at the time, it seemed like there was another group of BLers that didn't like the current group running the site.
BL really gave me a chance to develop friendships on my own. i am rather shy and don't really talk to people i don't know. i usually rely on other people to make initial contact and then i just sort of befriend whomever they are friends with. BL also gave me a chance to talk openly about my thoughts and feelings. i figured if i ever said something super embarrassing or really regretted something, i could always leave the site. once i started meeting people, i began censoring myself a little bit but i am still more open here than i am in real life.
i have learned a lot of people skills too. modding the lounge took a lot of team work and patience which wasn't something i was used to. there would be time everyone disagreed on a mater and we'd spend pages discussing it. it would have been easy to just insult the staff i didn't agree with and do what i want, but that would have looked unprofessional. instead i got good practice explaining WHY i thought something was important and leaving my emotions out of it. i also learned to distance myself from drama and not get super butthurt when someone said something i didn't like. i've found these skills to be extremely helpful at work in real life.
i've also got to interact with a very diverse group of people from posting here. people from all sorts of different countries, ages and backgrounds all interact. it is really great to get all those different perspectives in a discussion. and being so exposed to differing viewpoints, some of them far more extreme than others. there is very little one can say about themselves that will shock me. i am not sure where else i could ever have serious conversations about the merits bestiality.
thanks to the diversity here, i am pretty comfortable with myself. i still have issues with self loathing and whatnot but i at least realize my views and opinions aren't completely bizarre. BL has actually helped me accept myself, i used to post a fair bit in the nudie thread and that is usually an ego boost
but i also found people are pretty accepting and don't expect you to fit into one certain identity.
when i joined i was a junior in college. i had found the site awhile before when i first rolled and occasionally checked it when i was bored late at night. i remember reading several posts by dr. suess in TDS and deciding to register to ask a question pertaining to a friend. i was constantly amazed by that was given and i wanted to know how to be that supportive without becoming depressed myself. many of the things my friend and i discussed were things i struggled with too.
i didn't really post for awhile after that altho i still lurked. i liked life (now SO) and i occasionally posted in the lounge. i also started keeping a journal on here. around 04, i went thru a period where i questioned my relationship with my partner. there was another person creeping into the picture. BL was a place i could talk about things without fear that it would get back to my partner. he was fairly aware of what was going on but i felt weird talking to friends because almost all our friends were mutual friends at the time.
i also started posting in the lounge around that time. between posting to my journal and interacting with people in the lounge, i was beginning to know some people pretty well. in the spring of 05, someone suggested an ohio meetup. somehow i convinced my partner to drive down to columbus with me to meet my internet friends. he knew i liked to post on BL but had very little idea what it was. the meetup was pretty eclectic. after that, BL became much more of a social site.
some time after that initial meetup, i began meeting and hanging out with more BLers. at first, i kept my real life friends separate from my BL friends. but i started becoming good friends with with some BLers and they began to meet my real life friends. and some of my real life friends began posting on BL.
when i became a mod, i got sucked into the politics of BL. i don't feel like getting into that here because i think it has died down but nepotism used to be pretty rampant. and then there was all sorts of random drama because most of the BLers i knew in real life were also on staff. and at the time, it seemed like there was another group of BLers that didn't like the current group running the site.
BL really gave me a chance to develop friendships on my own. i am rather shy and don't really talk to people i don't know. i usually rely on other people to make initial contact and then i just sort of befriend whomever they are friends with. BL also gave me a chance to talk openly about my thoughts and feelings. i figured if i ever said something super embarrassing or really regretted something, i could always leave the site. once i started meeting people, i began censoring myself a little bit but i am still more open here than i am in real life.
i have learned a lot of people skills too. modding the lounge took a lot of team work and patience which wasn't something i was used to. there would be time everyone disagreed on a mater and we'd spend pages discussing it. it would have been easy to just insult the staff i didn't agree with and do what i want, but that would have looked unprofessional. instead i got good practice explaining WHY i thought something was important and leaving my emotions out of it. i also learned to distance myself from drama and not get super butthurt when someone said something i didn't like. i've found these skills to be extremely helpful at work in real life.
i've also got to interact with a very diverse group of people from posting here. people from all sorts of different countries, ages and backgrounds all interact. it is really great to get all those different perspectives in a discussion. and being so exposed to differing viewpoints, some of them far more extreme than others. there is very little one can say about themselves that will shock me. i am not sure where else i could ever have serious conversations about the merits bestiality.
thanks to the diversity here, i am pretty comfortable with myself. i still have issues with self loathing and whatnot but i at least realize my views and opinions aren't completely bizarre. BL has actually helped me accept myself, i used to post a fair bit in the nudie thread and that is usually an ego boost
but i also found people are pretty accepting and don't expect you to fit into one certain identity.
