Peace&Serenity
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2016
- Messages
- 8
As i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane buAs i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
t truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
As i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
s i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies. Is it simply mind over matter o vice versa. Do we help numb the pain and just face it another day resulting in a more damaging addiction or do we numb the pain but instead rather deal with the horror of addiction rather than help. I will always be a firm believer that alcohol or drugs ( taken in adequate quantities and the right amount of will power, every human numbs pain or trauma in their own way. Therapy, drugs, alcohol. Don't judge those who take it to far. Who lose self control because they can't manage life or the situation around them.. or maybe the life or situation keeps growing and they choose to numb it instead of dealing with it. Humans are not the samee, duh. Because if so the epidemic of any self harm would not exist. Maybe so in some kind of way but not like today. Well definitely like today but maybe not as characterized. Well never know. Point of my long ongoing. ( meth- induced, in my feelings ) thread, I got into bulimia have been on and off for several years. I drank heavily 24/7 to numb the pain of my husband being locked up for 2 years, had done meth before I met him ( snorted shake and bake) but I smoked while he was gone and when he got out the needle entered my life. I let him in, uncertain but curious of the stranger at my door but I wanted to know what he was like. He was inviting at first but months later ( for some that don't understand or haven't experienced, the addiction to it is quicker than you can imagine ) he became quite intolerable but he stuck around because you couldn't kick him out. Kinda a crazy scenario but ANYWAYS to those that read this long crazy on and off story, I want any one who feels like they are judged or looked at different to whoever and anyone they talk to, to never feel alone. I came here because people here feel, go thru the same thing. My veins hurt at the moment, my veins are collapsing, my heart and chest hurt ( half due to years of anorexia/bulimia )
I have knots popping up. Nevertheless I will never ever blame another soul for my health. It's my fault. The needle is poisonous. I've asked various questions about my concerns but no response. I'm writing a lot to keep me calm until I crash completely.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane buAs i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
t truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
As i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
s i started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies.
started out snorting meth and moved on to smoking I always was afraid and couldn't even bear the thought of seeing or even imagining someone who could just allow or let alone put a needle in their own body ( disregarding tattoos and health injections such as diabetes or flu shots ) but as I took my first shot I knew bad yet mentally good consequences ( those only felt by some ) were yet to come. I knew the risks that came with it... No matter how careful I was. Shooting is most certainly a while new ballgame than snorting or smoking. Same drug but the many ways it is consumed varies on a whole nother level. People who don't know or never tried ( not implying or recommending any one person to try ) will never understand. Judgement is not one of our qualities. But some live by it. Alcoholics live by the bottle. Crowded by life, decisions, bad or good memories, rash decisons due to peer pressure or mental stability one of which you can't or choose to ignore. Once I first shot up I instantly felt the amazing and well known warm rush. Almost like the drug chose me, I chose me. I'm a decent fan of uppers. I've done cocaine. Fell in love but highs that are short and cost you more than you get your hopes up for are a waste. It's produced and out there tho for the addicts and as a strong meth addict who am I to judge what they use when I use a drug myself for my own reasons. My depression, bulimia, Alcoholism, husband being locked up. Childhood trauma. Drugs are not being excused for a good way to escape in ling term mental stabitlity but in my case i want to cover my problems up ( all listed above ) I don't have to but experimenting and the inability to communicate your feelings with anyone without them thinking your dramatic or don't care is hard to find. I smoke weed everyday. ( My favorite choice of calamity ) I cut down on drinking considerably but I picked up on meth and started on snorting and smoking. Then ( amongst friends ) and what I did admit to myself considering I was depressed and on the edge of a fucking drug that would sweep me off my feet. I have the perfect trip agent. My husband. I fell in love with a rash decision so quick it took me over instantly. Not uncontrollably. But I wanted more than needed. After over half a year of straight shooting 4 times a day resulting from smoking and snorting ( which doesn't effect u as highly, I realized my gift to Khan due to pain and tolerance my arms ( starting at injection sites ) sent a sharp and tingly/numb feeling down my arms and legs. I know I been up for 3 days. My body is begging me to catch a break. Veins are ruined ( also was not supposed to be spread in the public) my health should always come first and after my first big boy shot I felt like my heart and mind were gone. Pain is also gone.. veins are bruised and sore. Heart and chest hurt.
I am the only one responsible for my dilemma or always around chatter of my life and situation. ATM I'm still coming down little by little. Im pretty lit after that blunt. I know everyone wants better and I swear you can only find success when you try.
My sudden interest and love for this rush got bigget by the day.
Salute to those who consume meth, weed, opiates, everything, and still have the pride and respect to acknowledge their true form, drug user or not. Never be afraid to open up, even unanimously. Your words speak up to others who can't or don't want to. And I know not many people will read this but follow your dreams, addictions are manageable, will power and self control are infinite. The needle is my current battle. Safe or not, I still have clots, heart problems, breathing problems extremity pains. I know I've done harm. I will never and ever take the little things I do have go without a fight. I will never blame anyone at all for a loss. I know I was scared and asked myself and God to find me an outlet to strengthen my inner self and self control. I don't want it unless I have a needle but I don't let the absence of one overtake me or make me into something I'm not. Pain is almost too intense in my injection sites like I stated in first 2 threads. You can use drugs to numb pain but self control is highly needed. A long term or ongoing pain can change a person's mentality and reasoning so fastt. My pains are diminishing in my arms fast but still pressure and some numbing pains. Veins are dark purple and black. No shooting tonight
A little advice or some common experiences are much wanted. ( Length of threads are insane but truth is truth. Can't survive or live on lies. Is it simply mind over matter o vice versa. Do we help numb the pain and just face it another day resulting in a more damaging addiction or do we numb the pain but instead rather deal with the horror of addiction rather than help. I will always be a firm believer that alcohol or drugs ( taken in adequate quantities and the right amount of will power, every human numbs pain or trauma in their own way. Therapy, drugs, alcohol. Don't judge those who take it to far. Who lose self control because they can't manage life or the situation around them.. or maybe the life or situation keeps growing and they choose to numb it instead of dealing with it. Humans are not the samee, duh. Because if so the epidemic of any self harm would not exist. Maybe so in some kind of way but not like today. Well definitely like today but maybe not as characterized. Well never know. Point of my long ongoing. ( meth- induced, in my feelings ) thread, I got into bulimia have been on and off for several years. I drank heavily 24/7 to numb the pain of my husband being locked up for 2 years, had done meth before I met him ( snorted shake and bake) but I smoked while he was gone and when he got out the needle entered my life. I let him in, uncertain but curious of the stranger at my door but I wanted to know what he was like. He was inviting at first but months later ( for some that don't understand or haven't experienced, the addiction to it is quicker than you can imagine ) he became quite intolerable but he stuck around because you couldn't kick him out. Kinda a crazy scenario but ANYWAYS to those that read this long crazy on and off story, I want any one who feels like they are judged or looked at different to whoever and anyone they talk to, to never feel alone. I came here because people here feel, go thru the same thing. My veins hurt at the moment, my veins are collapsing, my heart and chest hurt ( half due to years of anorexia/bulimia )
I have knots popping up. Nevertheless I will never ever blame another soul for my health. It's my fault. The needle is poisonous. I've asked various questions about my concerns but no response. I'm writing a lot to keep me calm until I crash completely.
