Its so hard to not want to use during the winter.

[lalapanda]

I'm a benzodiazepine addict and I went to rehab but then I left after six months bc I was sad and depressed and COVID-19 made rehab impossible. (Canceled classes, getting in trouble bc some girls im not even friends with, did something stupid and I was standing next to her)
Anyway! I'm smoking a bowl rn, wishing I had a xanny and a corona....ha ha)
I know you're probably all like, omg you're not sober if you're smoking weed. And I get it but I'm never out of my mind while stoned. Weed makes me feel okay. I'm taking mirtazapine, gabapentin,and Venlafaxine and sorry I sound stupid right now. I just can't stop thinking about benzos rn and I'm not sure what to do. I don't wanna call a sponsor bc I feel like a burden.

I don't think I've posted here in like 5 years!

I love you all!!!! please stay safe. Its a cruel world out there.

 

[Vastness]

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Just wanted to chime in to say that I doubt anyone here will give you a hard time about smoking weed. Recovery looks like different things to different people and if benzodiazepines were/are your problem substance then your weedsmoking habit doesn't necessarily need to have anything to do with this, unless maybe you're more likely to use benzos when you're stoned or something. So, try not to beat yourself up about it, if you can. Other than that I don't feel I have too much to contribute but good luck to you, hope you find a resolution!

In case it helps, try to just remember that thoughts and feelings aren't facts, and the uncomfortable ones won't last forever. The more you can find a way to be at peace with these thoughts and not act on them if you know that do so would be a bad idea - the quieter they'll get, I'm sure.

 

[bongdong]

I know you're probably all like, omg you're not sober if you're smoking weed.

Hello. When I first got here, I was kind of staggered reading folks "yeah, I made it, totally sober, I just smoke weed all day long and do dabs with all kinds of concentrates and stuff..". Of course it's not sober living, but then reading what many people are actually caught up in or have been, it became more a matter of perspective. The worst you can do with cannabis, is actually not that bad compared to other drug habits and how fast and certain they destroy bodies, relationships and lifes, and there are the medical/therapeutic properties too. (I myself would question more the other medications (antidepressants), but that's non of my business of course.)

All the best, take it one moment at a time.

In case it helps, try to just remember that thoughts and feelings aren't facts, and the uncomfortable ones won't last forever. The more you can find a way to be at peace with these thoughts and not act on them if you know that do so would be a bad idea - the quieter they'll get, I'm sure.

(y)(y)(y)