Its been six years taking opiates. Contemplating bad thoughts can anyone help!

[TaintedSoul]

hey everyone im new to this bluelight blog.. Ive been taking oc 80s since soph in highschool which was in 06. Also roxys and doing dope everyday since. bundles a day and really whatever i can get my hands on.. i havent been able to function, like go to school, chill with friends and the worst part is the all do this shit too. i really have no one to turn to.. i need to get this under control by myself so i can go into the military and leave this life behind in do time.. i stopped taking hard drugs about 2 weeks ago and i took suboxon for a week and a half after i stopped now im on day 4 of nothing and i feel like my legs are growing out of my skin and im sweating bullets non stop all day.. my white bed sheets are yellow wake up every hour if i even fall asleep.. xanax helps a little bit but i just ran out .. is anyone going through this same stuff. i kno ur out there.. its just not the life for me anymore.. my brother is in rehab for the same stuff and my rents are very supportive keeping an eye on me . .but evertime i wake up sweating i just wanna go drown myself in the tub.. i take like 8 baths a day.. how can i stop the sweating and leg aches.. Any help would be amaazingggg even just kind words.. im sitting here jumping out of my skin.. Thanks

 

[hobhead]

cold turkey method is best . the physical mess is all but over in less than 2 weeks .

find work of some sort but steer clear of the military . soldiering is the worst job that i have ever had . most would agree in that in the military one is only a pawn of the wealthy and powerful (read big oil).

there has to be something that you are inclined to do. something that has marketable value .

 

[TaintedSoul]

well my gpa and my dad died in the marines so im going in regardless.. but thats another reason i cant go to a facility becuase then i wont be able to join.. shits difficult.. my only objective right now is to get clean.. the other stuff will come later..

 

[MaybeHad2Much2fast]

Sorry I can't be any help on telling you how to make it stop besides waiting it out.
I don't know you but I'm proud of anyone who stops taking opiates, my brother and sis both had a bad opiate problem so I can somewhat relate. Stay strong the worst will be over soon.

 

[Come real or not a]

Try bengay on your legs. Kava kava helps too. Maybe u can see your primary care physician and they may be willing to prescribe u more Xanax if u can't cop any. Good luck I know what ur going threw. This feeling will pass. Try going to a NA meeting. They helped me feel some hope when I got off methadone.

 

[Acidtek]

Keep up the hard work mate, I can empathise with you, I'm on day 5 of my subutex detox and I'm just starting to feel better, it is hard but I'm thinking it will be worth it just to be opiate free

 

[NeighborhoodThreat]

Opiates are powerfully addictive and life-changing drugs, I've been using them for five years, so I can relate to you too man.

As far as joining the military, I'm gonna agree with hobhead, it may sound like the "easy way out" but it's not. I come from a proud military family (although mostly Navy and Air Force, I know the Marines have a very powerful brotherhood thing, I feel like sometimes they go way overboard with it, but that's my opinion...) and I would never join the military. I have great respect for those who serve but I also feel like nowadays they are more like pawns on somebody's chess board than they used to be.

/rant over, sorry about that

In the end, however, it is your decision, and it looks like you've already made it. If you're going to go the cold turkey method, make sure you've done it and it's completely over before you go to basic training.

Best of luck man.

 

[Skelu]

Just keep in mind all the time that it’s going to get better. You have made a great decision. Lots of people have been in the same situation as you, and many of them have recovered fully. Stay Strong!!!

 

[senoraustino]

Hey man you got this... just remember in time you'll be back to feeling normal. I joined the Navy years ago also as a way to get away and change my life but what I realized was that it was just a geography change... I still got high because I was the same person just in uniform with a hair cut. Then I went to Iraq which really made me want to get high after i got out. They do drug tests too and kick people out 1st time they come up pos. but if you're commited best of luck man

 

[K'd-OUT-in-AZ]

Here is my story

It gets better. I was using for 9 years, 2 of them on Methadone, since I was 15. I began using just pills like hydrocodone, codeine and Percocet. My habit progressed into the more powerful pills like OxyContin, Morphine, Oxymorphone & Dilaudid. Eventually I began taking 5 80mg OCs (400mg) a day which cost me $200. I stole from people, fucked over my friends, stole from my parents, committed crimes and sold drugs to support my habit. Then I found my real love, the OxyContin got so expensive so I turned to Heroin which was much cheaper. For $120 I could buy 2 grams of tar Heroin. I turned to selling coke. If everything had already been bad it got worse. My habit went right back to what it was, a couple hundred dollars a day because I began using both OC's and heroin.

But that's when things got dark. I wound up in jail after stealing from my job and became a felon with a record that will always stick with me the rest of my life. My girlfriend left me. I got into two car accidents that nearly killed me for being under the influence. Eventually I got arrested for a DUI with possession of a controlled substance (15 hits of ecstasy) and had to go to jail for 30 days. I lost my car. A little bit later I lost my house because I couldn't sell coke anymore. I had nowhere to live so I started sleeping on the streets until eventually I got into a halfway home. I tried Methadone maintenance but I relapsed. Started using on top of it and got into more trouble.

But I found Suboxone and got my life straightened out. I couldn't find a job because of my permanent record but I with the help of someone I was able to put a club up which had always been what I wanted to do. I moved into a home with my new girlfriend and gotten a new car. Things got so much better. But it didn't happen over night. I still struggle from time to time and get depressed and I'm still very anxious so I understand what you are going through although my physical withdrawals have gone away. But I can tell you, give it time, things WILL get better my friend, just try and get through the withdrawals. It won't be easy but it will happen.