For the past week, I've been off opiates (except for very low doses of Suboxone that a friend was kind enough to throw me). Today is my first day back on a full-agonist. My last dose of Suboxone was over 24hrs ago and it was only .25mg, so I felt confident enough that I'd be able to feel the oxy. That suicidal sort of depression was creeping up on me... The despondence, the despair, the desire... I just wanted to get high. I needed to get high. I obsessed about it. I dreamt about it. I dreamt about heroin and cocaine and oxy and opana... Stumbling upon some insanely large amount of drugs... chopping lines, grabbing a straw, getting ready to SNIFF... and then waking up. Cold and miserable and FEELING MY FEELINGS. (The horror! The horror!) Those long, long days with no escaping...
So I called up my buddy who I usually grab my stuff from but his usual guys weren't around. So we tried a backup. This backup guy was definitely a trip. My buddy, his girlfriend, my girlfriend and myself all jumped in this tiny car and drove to meet up with the dude who was supposed to have the pills. Only, he didn't have the pills. He told us thought he dropped them in this other guy's car. This other guy was a complete fucking dick... and we were all fairly certain he did have this guy's pills. Mr. "I didn't steal your pills" got into his car and sped off after Mr. "I lost my pills" confronted him about it. So Mr. "I lost my pills" jumps in the car with us and we drive to at least 5 different locations where he could have possibly dropped his pills. He searched in quite a few places, let me tell you. Each more illogical than the next. (This kid, in all fairness, was fucking keyed up on a bunch of coke and probably on the tail end of a binge and not thinking rationally in the slightest.) In the end, we ended up going to someone else entirely. But we all really felt bad for this guy, because he has a legit script and this fucker probably stole them. Denied, denied, denied. This guy also called some other fucking scumbag to do his fighting for him... but it was all chest puffing and talk, talk, talk. My buddy was ready to have his back, too. I'm fairly certain our guys would have won... but luckily nothing violent went down...
Hopefully Mr. "I didn't steal your pills" karma will come knocking quite soon.
<---- My new favorite BL smiley.
So, like 3 hours later we finally get what we all came for and I can go home and use my drugs.
I crushed up a 30mg Oxycodone IR -- otherwise known as Roxies, Blues or... well, that's pretty much the only terms I use for them. And sniffed that shit up!
I think I'm just as addicted to chasing down and scoring the drugs as I am to the actual drugs.
It's a sick and twisted sort of fun, trying to score. I like having a regular, go-to guy who I can call or text and meet up with and get my shit, but it's also kind of an adventure to drive around and find new connects...
Blah, I'm rambling. I have to see a psychiatrist tomorrow so I am debating whether or not I should sleep... I need to score some more shit too... but I'm already hemorrhaging money as it is... I don't want to end up in Housing Court again. Sigh. When will I learn???
Anyway, I think I'll do another half of a pill... Schniffffff.
So I called up my buddy who I usually grab my stuff from but his usual guys weren't around. So we tried a backup. This backup guy was definitely a trip. My buddy, his girlfriend, my girlfriend and myself all jumped in this tiny car and drove to meet up with the dude who was supposed to have the pills. Only, he didn't have the pills. He told us thought he dropped them in this other guy's car. This other guy was a complete fucking dick... and we were all fairly certain he did have this guy's pills. Mr. "I didn't steal your pills" got into his car and sped off after Mr. "I lost my pills" confronted him about it. So Mr. "I lost my pills" jumps in the car with us and we drive to at least 5 different locations where he could have possibly dropped his pills. He searched in quite a few places, let me tell you. Each more illogical than the next. (This kid, in all fairness, was fucking keyed up on a bunch of coke and probably on the tail end of a binge and not thinking rationally in the slightest.) In the end, we ended up going to someone else entirely. But we all really felt bad for this guy, because he has a legit script and this fucker probably stole them. Denied, denied, denied. This guy also called some other fucking scumbag to do his fighting for him... but it was all chest puffing and talk, talk, talk. My buddy was ready to have his back, too. I'm fairly certain our guys would have won... but luckily nothing violent went down...
Hopefully Mr. "I didn't steal your pills" karma will come knocking quite soon.
<---- My new favorite BL smiley. So, like 3 hours later we finally get what we all came for and I can go home and use my drugs.
I crushed up a 30mg Oxycodone IR -- otherwise known as Roxies, Blues or... well, that's pretty much the only terms I use for them. And sniffed that shit up!
I think I'm just as addicted to chasing down and scoring the drugs as I am to the actual drugs.
It's a sick and twisted sort of fun, trying to score. I like having a regular, go-to guy who I can call or text and meet up with and get my shit, but it's also kind of an adventure to drive around and find new connects...
Blah, I'm rambling. I have to see a psychiatrist tomorrow so I am debating whether or not I should sleep... I need to score some more shit too... but I'm already hemorrhaging money as it is... I don't want to end up in Housing Court again. Sigh. When will I learn???
Anyway, I think I'll do another half of a pill... Schniffffff.
