Is this my mind fooling me?

[jose ribas da silva]

I'm so used to getting high that I do not know whether what I'm thinking is true or a result of being always stoned.

I have been gradually decreasing my use of drugs. Firstly, it was alcohol followed by cocaine and benzos. Now I'm on a therapeutic dose of benzos (not abusing them). My last step in the direction of sobriety is weed; however, my addiction is out of control, I mean completely. In order to cope with my cravings for other drugs, I am smoking from morning to night (~5 g per day). On account of my personality, it is necessary to go cold turkey. I really need (want) to quit smoking. The funny thing is that I do not have the guts to do so (I am a coward).

I have tried so many times to quit smoking and I always return to heavy daily use (why?). I am afraid of failing again or, worse yet, restarting one of my previous vices, which were very difficult to abandon. Am I a mouse or a man? I am afraid of a sober life and, at the same time, this is what I have wanted in all these years of addiction. It is so contradictory. It could be tomorrow the first day of a new and pleasant life and I truly want this, but I know that the first thing I am going to do in the morning is to smoke a joint.

Realistically, the only solution that I see to quit smoking (at this point in my life, in the current circumstances) is to anesthetize myself with benzos for at least two weeks. What will happen after two weeks? Since I love smoking weed, would I be able to live without it in the same current circumstances that I am living nowadays (which are very unpleasant or, alternatively, are they unpleasant because of the excess of cannabis?)? Should I wait in order to change these unpleasant circumstances before trying to quit smoking? Apparently, to me, this seems to be the best way to follow because I could try to quit without benzos. Nevertheless, I do not really know whether this conclusion is logical or a trap created by my mind to postpone the stop date.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

We are more or less in the same boat so I am clueless about the Cannabis. Just stopping and sittin it out seems logical.

But it's this thing with weed that makes me consider it the most addicting drug for me personally. When i quit I'll take Mirtazepine, which helps with sleep and appetite. Would it have been available I would have trialed Clonidine, Moxonidine or Tizanidine for the raised heartbeat I get when i WD from THC. But I am certain if around a benzo would go in.

Thing is the effects of benzo's, in me create a yawning for THC, different and a bit more subtle as alcohol. But undeniable there. So be aware as it also lowers inhibition's, the who the fuck cares effect.

Oral THC for a taper always sounded like a good idea, but I never got really stunning results. Did a lot of other things to help me stop, and alway's came back. Succes Jose, btw do you smoke pure or mixed with tobacco?

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

What exactly do you like about smoking weed? What does it do for you?

 

[Jungo871]

When I first saw this post title I thought of something like a dph trip gone wrong. But to op you'd be better off ditching the benzos and stick to cannabis. Benzo addiction will bite you after a while and THC will be the least of your worries. Stick with the cannabis if it helps you and leave the benzos. And if you are from uk you will likely smoke with tobacco. If your from USA why not get some THC oil and vape it? Safer than smoking and same high.

 

[jose ribas da silva]

What exactly do you like about smoking weed? What does it do for you?

Man, I do not know whether this ever happened to you in your life, but sometimes one meets a woman and one falls passionately in love with her. In these cases, love and hate are highlighted and the relationship wildly oscillates from one to another. This means, for the most part, too many fights, struggles, and confusions. The love, in turn, is found on the mattress, on the bed, where the souls are interconnected in a chain of true pleasure moved by passion. The love found in sex resonates to the other spheres of the relationship, feeding them, watering them, looking after them.

This woman in my life is weed. We find love together every time we connect, every time that I jump into it and it openly welcomes me, every time that it penetrates my soul and I passively relax to facilitate its work. Do you know? It is my partner, we are a couple, we make love.

However, given the intensity of this relationship, you can imagine that it is for two and not for three, and my body is beginning to envy my soul constantly hanging out with weed. I am going to tell you something important, envy is one of the worst feelings: it degrades people, destroying all their beauty. This is happening to my body, it is being destroyed, broken, shattered, it is falling apart. The bitterness and resentment of my body are also occurring on account of the fact that my soul has been dancing with many others besides weed. My body now wants fidelity, it is no longer tolerating double-dealings, falsehoods, betrayals. My body wants my soul exclusively for it and will fight for this, it has been fighting, fighting to the point where victory is already glimpsed on the horizon, the twilight of the gods!

 

[jose ribas da silva]

We are more or less in the same boat so I am clueless about the Cannabis. Just stopping and sittin it out seems logical.

But it's this thing with weed that makes me consider it the most addicting drug for me personally. When i quit I'll take Mirtazepine, which helps with sleep and appetite. Would it have been available I would have trialed Clonidine, Moxonidine or Tizanidine for the raised heartbeat I get when i WD from THC. But I am certain if around a benzo would go in.

Thing is the effects of benzo's, in me create a yawning for THC, different and a bit more subtle as alcohol. But undeniable there. So be aware as it also lowers inhibition's, the who the fuck cares effect.

Oral THC for a taper always sounded like a good idea, but I never got really stunning results. Did a lot of other things to help me stop, and alway's came back. Succes Jose, btw do you smoke pure or mixed with tobacco?

When I first saw this post title I thought of something like a dph trip gone wrong. But to op you'd be better off ditching the benzos and stick to cannabis. Benzo addiction will bite you after a while and THC will be the least of your worries. Stick with the cannabis if it helps you and leave the benzos. And if you are from uk you will likely smoke with tobacco. If your from USA why not get some THC oil and vape it? Safer than smoking and same high.

I smoke pure weed, always. I am neither from the US nor from the UK. I am from the third world, where poverty reigns without adversaries. Cannabis is illegal but very easy to find.

Considering the quality levels, they aren’t the best, which does not mean that they are terrible. Sadly, I cannot choose the variables: strains, THC levels, and so on. On the other hand, I can buy weed in kilograms without going bankrupt.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I smoke pure weed, always. I am neither from the US nor from the UK. I am from the third world, where poverty reigns without adversaries. Cannabis is illegal but very easy to find.

One problem less to handle. I am severely addicted to both. Making it hard to distinguize what's causing what. Nicotin was the first drug that ever penetrated my BBB as it has a faster delivery as THC.

How one can smoke so much seems more reasonable when the quality is less as the weed I buy semi illlegally in the shop's, 20% + THC levels are standard now a day.

My main concern with benzo's for weed withdrawal is that they are way more addicting and harder drugs. And they make me crave for feeling's, as they numb my emotions noticeably. Creating a craving sensation for Cannabis. Which seems to rather modulate emotion's.

I would crave for feelings after being numb for a week. If you get what I mean. And relapse to Cannabis asap.

I am currently preparing for a psychedelic approach to adress my THC and Nicotin addiction. Not an option any one would consider viable but LSD session's were used on all kinda addiction's with stunning result's. Till recently these were done by a select group of Psychiatrist and Psycholigist's in Swiss. Something I came across while researching addictions and treatment's. Emkee

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Man, I do not know whether this ever happened to you in your life, but sometimes one meets a woman and one falls passionately in love with her. In these cases, love and hate are highlighted and the relationship wildly oscillates from one to another. This means, for the most part, too many fights, struggles, and confusions. The love, in turn, is found on the mattress, on the bed, where the souls are interconnected in a chain of true pleasure moved by passion. The love found in sex resonates to the other spheres of the relationship, feeding them, watering them, looking after them.

This woman in my life is weed. We find love together every time we connect, every time that I jump into it and it openly welcomes me, every time that it penetrates my soul and I passively relax to facilitate its work. Do you know? It is my partner, we are a couple, we make love.

However, given the intensity of this relationship, you can imagine that it is for two and not for three, and my body is beginning to envy my soul constantly hanging out with weed. I am going to tell you something important, envy is one of the worst feelings: it degrades people, destroying all their beauty. This is happening to my body, it is being destroyed, broken, shattered, it is falling apart. The bitterness and resentment of my body are also occurring on account of the fact that my soul has been dancing with many others besides weed. My body now wants fidelity, it is no longer tolerating double-dealings, falsehoods, betrayals. My body wants my soul exclusively for it and will fight for this, it has been fighting, fighting to the point where victory is already glimpsed on the horizon, the twilight of the gods!

There is a theory about addiction that goes needless with your reply.

Human's are creature's that need bonding. If they can't bond with a person or society. He will with something else. What is called addiction is according to the theory a lack of bonding.

Rat's that live alone in a case will drug theirselves to death. The same rat in rat heaven, a park with mates/ food and playground. Has hardly any interest in the drugs provided in one of their water bottles water . And they certainly don't OD.

A good point on behalve of this theory is that of the ammount of people that receive pharmaceutical Heroin in the UK over a 21 day period. As a result of a operation, hipp replacement for all I know. When they leave the hospital a large percentage will not experience the typical withdrawal that one would expect.

Same for Cannabis. The situation you are in is just as important for experiencing symptoms of withdrawal.

 

[jose ribas da silva]

There is a theory about addiction that goes needless with your reply.

Human's are creature's that need bonding. If they can't bond with a person or society. He will with something else. What is called addiction is according to the theory a lack of bonding.

Rat's that live alone in a case will drug theirselves to death. The same rat in rat heaven, a park with mates/ food and playground. Has hardly any interest in the drugs provided in one of their water bottles water . And they certainly don't OD.

A good point on behalve of this theory is that of the ammount of people that receive pharmaceutical Heroin in the UK over a 21 day period. As a result of a operation, hipp replacement for all I know. When they leave the hospital a large percentage will not experience the typical withdrawal that one would expect.

Same for Cannabis. The situation you are in is just as important for experiencing symptoms of withdrawal.

Very well addressed. I completely agree with you on this matter. Addiction is an escape, for the most part. An escape from despair, overwhelming boredom, and whatever that hurts. That is why one gets addicted to drugs.

If the current circumstances of my life were different, I probably would not even think about getting high. I am sick and tired of drugs. I want a sober period.

I am going to be pedantic. One needs somebody to love, one needs friends, one needs family stability. If these conditions are present, why should one get high? I mean if true feelings are grounded, is there a reason for getting high? I do not know; perhaps there is a reason for sporadic trips, but not for severe addiction (an addiction that really disturbs and takes control of life).

Other point needs to be considered: once one has discovered the other side, that is, the high state of mind, this means that one knows the sensations, the pleasures, one experiences the new ways of thinking, one is conditioned to enjoy life on drugs. How to escape this trap? Once the heaven is unveiled, is it possible to return to the purgatory or, worse yet, to the hell?

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Like your previous post jose, you word it very nice. You writing is very accurate but also pleasant to read. I totally get what you are meaning.

Drugs do probably have good uses. but in the right situation. If making progress in connecting with other thing's is not going anywhere. The relieve of Cannabis is so great. Many don't understand how one can go there day and be stoned all the time. I feel opposite how can one live it's live without being high 24/7?

But the nagging feeling of dependence on something not being totally ok is there. I could go into detail, but in shorty it creates to much 'yeah but no's' Torture at times.

But it feel's as escape, or lack of strenght. If it is indeed merely a symptom of a lack of connection to more healthy things. It sure feels like a lot more. It is a powerful medical plant, among it's capacities bringing the body into homeostasis (something like balance). So disruption will lead to imbalances to resurface

 

[jose ribas da silva]

Like your previous post jose, you word it very nice. You writing is very accurate but also pleasant to read. I totally get what you are meaning.

Drugs do probably have good uses. but in the right situation. If making progress in connecting with other thing's is not going anywhere. The relieve of Cannabis is so great. Many don't understand how one can go there day and be stoned all the time. I feel opposite how can one live it's live without being high 24/7?

But the nagging feeling of dependence on something not being totally ok is there. I could go into detail, but in shorty it creates to much 'yeah but no's' Torture at times.

But it feel's as escape, or lack of strenght. If it is indeed merely a symptom of a lack of connection to more healthy things. It sure feels like a lot more. It is a powerful medical plant, among it's capacities bringing the body into homeostasis (something like balance). So disruption will lead to imbalances to resurface

I think the same. Why should I be sober? Alternatively, is my need for other states of mind a consequence of the discovery of the other side? Since I have discovered all the capabilities of my mind, why should I close my eyes by telling myself that I must live a candid life without drugs?

On the contrary, am I thinking that drugs are the way for the enlightenment because my brain has already been trapped?

What is the limit between reality and illusion? Between real needs and drug-induced conclusions? When constantly on drugs, it is impossible to differentiate this tenuous boundary.

Sometimes I do not know whether I am myself because I cannot distinguish reality from the effect of drugs. When the drug-induced dissociation begins, it is a dangerous line to cross. It is where one begins to question one’s thoughts because one cannot trust oneself.

I am saying this, but it is bullshit.

I love drugs. Man, I love getting high. I wish I could do drugs sporadically but I cannot, I am voracious. My menu is eclectic: cocaine, LSD, mushrooms, ayahuasca, benzos, alcohol, MDMA, mescaline, and so on.

I could tell you that I would stick with natural compounds, since I love Nature and hallucinogens, but I would be lying. It is not true. I have been caught by benzos and the worst man-transformed-double-faced substance on earth which is called cocaine. One blast and then one is God. Holy shit!

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Had some ALD recently and it was nice but underwelming. But I would say that your menu contains some interesting compounds. Aiming at the psychedelic section as they are all possible ways to get a new perspective on one's live. Any recent trips or not.

If the opportunity is still there I want to attend a Ayahuasca session in the future. Not possible the coming 2/ 3 months. Very curious about that one. You wanna share some of your exp? As that one seems capable of truly changing ones going 180 degr.

But in the mean I prepare for another solo trip. But this time I will use some sort of mixup of the diff psychedelic therapy guideline's to prepare.

Been a Coke fiend for a while to, but to be honest of all those nice stims I did. It still amazes me how far I was prepared to go for a high. Side effect wise Ephedrine only is probably worse.

Khat being the absolute top shelve of amazing stimulant's in my opinion.

 

[NvrdidmethtiliTx]

This is some bullshit

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Thank's for the contribution. I myself never sucked dick or ate pussy to aid in any of my addiction's, I would have appreciated licking a vagine for some drugs. Win win situation if it was stuck on a nice girl.

But imo it's not real scientific if the point was to discredit MJ addiction. And it's withdrawals it failed. Then again who would get addicted to crack, not me. That stuff is a stim and those are not even physically addictive, but discrediting crack as addictive would give way to some fierce discussion on bluelight, probably.

Cannabis is a weird one as it seems to cause addiction in some but not all. And for some not all of the time. Like stopping when you are in another country seems is most of the time easy. While quitting at home could cause wd's in the same individual. At least that is how I perceive it.

You probably question food addiction and gambling also?