Is this just a case of extreme paranoia?

[Bidybag]

On stimulant drugs at home i get a very different feeling from compared to a club and im not sure why. At home in my room i will do a stimulant drug, it will start of good, but then i start getting very wierd. My muscles go into a state of permenantly tensed up and they wont stop tensing. They start to ache after a while. I also keep looking at my door, because i keep thinking somebody is going to come in, and i keep taking out my earphones because i think somebody is knocking on my door.

Other things include me not wanting to move around because im worried about banging, also its something as silly as, not wanting to play a video with flashing lights on my monitor because it might be seen from other people in the house. I just simply cannot relax or enjoy it.

Funny little side story:
My earphones wire was too heavy and dragging on me so i spent literally 4 hours trying to find out a way to take the load off the wire. I had a massive ball of string and spent hours tieing knots and loops to other objects in the room. I have an overhead fan and i was trying to tie some special knot to make it so i couldnt feel the weight of wire, and the fan would take it all. I mean this sounds really silly i know, but i literally couldnt relax or do anything untill it was sorted. I would try and say to myself "forget it, its just a bit of weight on a wire", i would dance for about 30 seconds and then say to myself "ok this is too damn annoying i have to fix this". I eventually figured out the best way was to wear a tshirt and put the weight of the wire on the neck part of the tshirt. But at this point it was too late, i had already killed my buzz from the last 4 hours of doing that. It was all for nothing in the end.


In a club its a whole new story, no matter what dosage i do. I wont get any of the effects i just mentioned above, and the whole night will be amazing.


Is what im getting at home, just an extreme case of paranoia? I think it may have something to do with the fact other people are in the house too. Ive done it at home a few times and i get similar effects but never that bad to how i just described. Based on that i wont be doing it at home again, think its best to stick to clubs unless you have a free house. Im just glad i dont get paranoia in clubs.

Also, if anybody has any suggestions on how to maybe stop getting paranoia or to reduce it, so that i can do it at home again, id love to know. Thanks

 

[JamtasticX]

Short answer, yes.

 

[Bidybag]

Short answer, yes.

Figured it was. Im just thankful i dont get paranoia in clubs or i wouldnt ever be able to go out. I know that some people get all the effects i descirbed in clubs too, that must suck for them.

Is there any ways to prevent paranoia or to reduce it? Is a of it to do with the people, surroundings, music and setting?

 

[JamtasticX]

Figured it was. Im just thankful i dont get paranoia in clubs or i wouldnt ever be able to go out. I know that some people get all the effects i descirbed in clubs too, that must suck for them.

Is there any ways to prevent paranoia or to reduce it? Is a of it to do with the people, surroundings, music and setting?

I would most likely say you're freaking out due to worrying about letting someone know, in your house. Whereas in the club you don't give a fuck.

The only ways to get over it would be to beat it mentally, or not take it. Maybe taking it with a benzo could help, but most likely you just have to beat it in your head

 

[Bidybag]

I would most likely say you're freaking out due to worrying about letting someone know, in your house. Whereas in the club you don't give a fuck.

The only ways to get over it would be to beat it mentally, or not take it. Maybe taking it with a benzo could help, but most likely you just have to beat it in your head

So the rest is paranoia. But in the case of the bit of string with my earphones wire, that cant be paranoia. Why couldnt i relax and just leave the wire as it was? It was constantly on my mind and everytime i tried to forget about it, i kept thinking of another knot or loop i could try. It was getting to a point near end where seeing the string would make me angry and i would throw it to floor. In the end it just totally killed it all. In a club id still be going at that point. Why was i so obsessed with this? If the earphones wire wasnt an issue, would i have found something else to be obessed with?

 

[JamtasticX]

So the rest is paranoia. But in the case of the bit of string with my earphones wire, that cant be paranoia. Why couldnt i relax and just leave the wire as it was? It was constantly on my mind and everytime i tried to forget about it, i kept thinking of another knot or loop i could try. It was getting to a point near end where seeing the string would make me angry and i would throw it to floor. In the end it just totally killed it all. In a club id still be going at that point. Why was i so obsessed with this? If the earphones wire wasnt an issue, would i have found something else to be obessed with?

I couldn't really tell you why, something in your head, but there's no way I could psychoanalyize you w/o knowing you, so I don't know why you do that.

It's most likely you just tweeking out, don't know exactly why you do it, but it's not odd for people to have ocd tendencies with stimulants.

 

[fryingsquirrel]

It just sort of comes with the territory. Trust me I've see people do way weirder shit than that tweaking. Benzos help some, but I guess the obvious answer is quit doing stims at home.

Or maybe watch some porn, gotta keep focused.

 

[Bidybag]

I couldn't really tell you why, something in your head, but there's no way I could psychoanalyize you w/o knowing you, so I don't know why you do that.

It's most likely you just tweeking out, don't know exactly why you do it, but it's not odd for people to have ocd tendencies with stimulants.

Oh ok, chances are i would have found something else to obsess over. One time i did it at home, my obsession was with my glow sticks, stairing at them for hours doing patterns and different colors in air. Closing eyes and then opening them to make it change color. I guess i was lucky that time to have my mind focused on that, because i didnt get any paranoia either. So im not sure if some of its to do with luck, if you can get your mind focused on something else, you can have a good time. Unfortunately it isnt as easy as that thou, for example with the string thing, i kept trying to take my mind off it and tried to focus on my glowsticks, but it wouldnt work.

I think there is a lot to do with mindset, what your thinking at the time and if your feeling happy when you do it. And not trying to think about bad things. Is this correct? Or will a stimulant drug just override all this regardless of what your thinking?

Not sure if this is normal, but I have some wierd thing with the color Red. For example everytime i crack a glowstick or glowbraclet at home, if it contains red it, ill throw it away and crack another. There is something about seeing red that makes my buzz go away and makes me feel angry and depressed, right after seeing red, ill have to look at a nice bright color again to make me feel normal. Its pretty easy to avoid red thou, not much of a problem, just seems wierd thou.

 

[lozgod]

I don't mess with stims because they do just that, send my paranoia through the roof and it's always been moreso alone or with a couple people than out around a lot of people. It's when I am alone I am focused on the effects physically. My paranoia was more focused on my heartbeat and worrying about my heart exploding and my friends bailing on me and leaving me to die, and by myself I worried no one would find me to get help and I wasn't calling an ambulance because I didn't want to admit to using drugs or seem like a nut job or wired drug freak.

Out in public I had plenty of people to get help if I needed it so that wasn't a concern. I could just enjoy myself. Took away all of that anxiety.

 

[Bidybag]

I think ive learent a few things from my experiences at home at clubs. To sum up:

• What i get at home is paranoia, normal for stimulant drugs, probably due to the fact people are at home and im trying to hide it. Probably have a good time if nobody was home.
  
• Being obsessed over little things like a wire is normal, called tweaking. Impossible to take your mind of it unless its sorted.
  
• Stimulants rely a lot on the setting, surroundings and people. Dont take them if the setting isnt right as ive experienced at home.
  
• Red is baaaaaad, dont know why, just is. I will be avoiding this everytime im on stimulants!
  
• More fun to do it in clubs for the atmosphere and music and lights. Although after saying that, the very few times i did do it at home and didnt get parania, was amazing. You feel so much more of the euphoria and rushes because your fully focused on it, unlike in a club there is lots going on.
  
• Doing it at home and at a club feels like a whole new drug and a whole new experience. I would like to keep a mix between them but really wouldnt want to risk the paranoia again, not worth it. Would concider getting a hotel room for a night and raving in there.
  
• Oh yea and ive also learned how weak minded i am. If i have more at home, ill always take it even when i know its a bad idea and i dont want to. But i found a solution for that, i leave everything at a friends house, and only take what i need for that night. Wish i was stronger minded!
  
• Last one is a good one. I promise ill never forget chewing gum again. Went around 30 minutes without chewing gum, totally forget. Next thing i know, im chewing something wierd and hard in my mouth, im wondering what it is. I spit it out and still have no idea. 20 min later i say to myself "oh shit i know what that was, that was my tooth filling". Start to feel my teeth with my tounge and yep, a big open gap, my tooth filling has gone!
  

It seems like i learn new things with each trip i have. But then again it seems like the more i try understand it, the more questions i have and the more i want to know and the more confused i get. Oh well...

 

[JamtasticX]

^^Gum is definitely needed. When I take amphetamines I need it or I will chew my cheeks off, and grind my teeth.

Overall everything you're experiencing is pretty typical.

 

[Bidybag]

Something i forgot to mention before. I dont get this everytime. Only sometimes, not sure why. But basically i will have major temperature issues. Ill be really hot one second and have to open windows and put fan on, and then ill be really cold and put heating on and close windows. Its really annoying because i can never get it just right and im constantly trying to adjust the temperature.

Last time it was that cold in my room so that when i was breathing out, i would literally see my own breathe come out. But its strange, because i was still hot. I mean for me to see my own breathe, it must have been really cold right? Yet i didnt feel it. What i did notice though, my hands were actaully numb and yet i was still hot. It was a hot feeling with numb hands. Next thing i know, the numbness goes, and my hands are sweating.

Im not sure of the science behind it. Your brain picks up on temperature right? So it could be freezing outside. But because your brains sensor is messed up, your brain thinks its really hot, so tells you its hot. Yet because its cold, the still getting the physical effects of the cold, like numbness, but you just dont know it because your brain hasnt detected it? No idea how much of that is bullshit, i pretty much made it all up. Am i close?

I know that stimulant drugs do mess with your brains temperator sensor but how serious can it actaully get? Can it get to a point where you would start getting hyperthermia or extreme heatstroke (dont know the technical terms).

 

[JamtasticX]

Something i forgot to mention before. I dont get this everytime. Only sometimes, not sure why. But basically i will have major temperature issues. Ill be really hot one second and have to open windows and put fan on, and then ill be really cold and put heating on and close windows. Its really annoying because i can never get it just right and im constantly trying to adjust the temperature.

Last time it was that cold in my room so that when i was breathing out, i would literally see my own breathe come out. But its strange, because i was still hot. I mean for me to see my own breathe, it must have been really cold right? Yet i didnt feel it. What i did notice though, my hands were actaully numb and yet i was still hot. It was a hot feeling with numb hands. Next thing i know, the numbness goes, and my hands are sweating.

Im not sure of the science behind it. Your brain picks up on temperature right? So it could be freezing outside. But because your brains sensor is messed up, your brain thinks its really hot, so tells you its hot. Yet because its cold, the still getting the physical effects of the cold, like numbness, but you just dont know it because your brain hasnt detected it? No idea how much of that is bullshit, i pretty much made it all up. Am i close?

I know that stimulant drugs do mess with your brains temperator sensor but how serious can it actaully get? Can it get to a point where you would start getting hyperthermia or extreme heatstroke (dont know the technical terms).

Yes, you can get hyperthermia from amphetamines. Although it would most likely take a lot.

I get the same thing happen to me, I'll get hot, but my hands will be like blue and freezing. Personally, because of this, I take lots of showers when I can and I'm on amphetamines. A nice hot shower (or w/e temp you need) is always great to regulate your temperature.

It most likely isn't something to worry about, however, it can lead to problems, especially when drinking/at clubs. The problems often rise from dehydration, and not actually hyperthermia. Drinking lots of water is key.

Overall though stimulants do tend to give the effects you're describing

 

[phatass]

yeah, sounds like a typical case of psychosis relted to stims... are you ADHA? or recreational? if its recreational, reduse the doses, and do less often, if Rx'ed for ADHA ask your doctor for 10mg of Valium or 0.5mg K-pins and see how that goes, if your doc will not Rx you benzos ask for Atarax (Hydroxyzine) 100mg, it's an anti-histamine, but also a descent anxiolytic, granted its not a benzo but its better than nothing... Pregabalin (Lyrica) or gabapentin are also anxiolytics

 

[JamtasticX]

^^^I'm scripted benzos and hydroxyzine and gabapentin

All good drugs that can definitely help. A tolerance builds up fast to gapapentin I find, so it might not be as effective over the long run, but hydroxyzine is a great drug imo. A very good antihistamine with benzo like properties

 

[Bidybag]

I was thinking about going to doctors to get some downers like you listed above. The herbal stuff doesnt seem to be cutting it. But im worried about what to say, i would need to think of a story and answer his questions? If he thinks im lieing, he wont give me anything will he? Im not really sure how the system works, do i simply just say "i have trouble sleeping, please can i have X pills?" Or are there lots of questions and tests?

 

[JamtasticX]

I was thinking about going to doctors to get some downers like you listed above. The herbal stuff doesnt seem to be cutting it. But im worried about what to say, i would need to think of a story and answer his questions? If he thinks im lieing, he wont give me anything will he? Im not really sure how the system works, do i simply just say "i have trouble sleeping, please can i have X pills?" Or are there lots of questions and tests?

Arn't really supposed to tell you how to ask for drugs from your Dr. You should know what to say

 

[Bidybag]

Arn't really supposed to tell you how to ask for drugs from your Dr. You should know what to say

Last time i saw a doctor was 20 years ago when i was a baby. I live at home in a dark room with no access to the outdoors. I dont know how these things work.