Is this anything to worry about?

[Tromps]

I have never been diagnosed any kind of mental disorder in the past except for anxiety and mild depression, but the past couple of months now I have felt some kind of multiple personality in me. There are times during the day where my thoughts seem to almost talk to each other. Like I'm having full conversations between different me's. I never really feel alone because in a sense I'm with different versions of myself.

Sometimes these different me's even include a female me thinking thoughts. I used to confuse this with possibly wanting to become transgendered, but after thinking about it for a couple of months I don't think thats it. I like being a male and I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble women do on a daily basis (I mean that in a good way, women are tough shit), but why is this feminine feel to me and my thoughts still there sometimes? And it's not like its a small or consistent feeling either. Sometimes I'll feel completely male, but then at another time of the day this female version of myself will awaken inside of me and my thoughts/perspectives will shift radically. It's like my thoughts are always contradicting themselves at different times of the day and I'll believe complete opposites depending on when you ask me.

I don't know if this might be normal since I've mostly been by myself the past year and it's just my brains way of coping with that, but it's hard to be social with other people because my thoughts are always too indulged in themselves and I think to myself too much, I'm too in my head. My gut tells me I need to get out and do more with other people or be more social, but I don't even really desire being with other people because in a way I like being alone and not having to worry about other peoples thoughts except for my own. It's easier to be on my own and I feel more free. And like I said before, I never really feel that alone anyways. Even when it is 'just me', there's still some kind of other presence there to tell me I'm not alone and that its ok (not really tell me, but I can feel its and its thought). I don't hear voices coming from the outside or see thing's on the outside that aren't there. All of its in my head.

Maybe it's not that big of a deal, I might be exaggerating some of it, I honestly don't know. Do you think this is something that I should talk to a psychologist about? I really don't feel like paying money to see someone for something that isn't a big deal, and only get told to take some pills. Does it even sound like a real mental problem, if so what would it be?

That's actually the first time I've articulated it and put it into words. Any other times I've even began explaining it in words I lose my train of thought and it doesn't even make sense anymore. Does anyone have any input please?

 

[bodhisattvaeimaj]

I think we all have different "ego's" within us that can come out at different times, people just don't want to admit it because it's generally thought of as being a sign of a mental disorder of some type (which it can be obviously). I am a different person to some degree depending on who I'm with at the time (or alone). When I visit my mother I'm a little different than when I visit my father. My only suggestion would be to try a technique similar to meditation where you slow your mind and instead of fighting the thoughts in your head, let them be there and flow - to what end I'm not sure. I don't think anybody can say they have a concrete ego that never changes - your idea of who you are is largely based on your memories of yourself and what you've done in the past.

As far as a having feminine type ego that comes out - my first thought would be a possible hormonal imbalance. I find that if I take a break from masturbating even for a couple days, I can feel the inevitable rise in testosterone (95% of which is produced in your testes). I've also read that you can lose about 25% of your daily value of zinc every time you ejaculate through masturbation (you actually absorb nutrients when you have sex). I think it makes me more inclined to take a real interest in women as well (naturally) - so it could help feed your need for human contact and interaction.

 

[Regenesis2]

^how do you absorb nutrients through sex? Do you literally "eat" pussy? Just kidding, but I don't see how that's possible. I've heard that about the zinc, but you lose it no matter if it ends up in your hand or on or in someone else.
To the OP, don't jump to conclusions that you are mental just yet, and if you tell the wrong kind of psyche this type of stuff you'll be told to take risperadone or some awful shit like that.
Maybe you said your problem in your post, you need to get out of your own head some. Even if you don't have anywhere to go get into a video game or book if you can. Find something to keep yourself engaged outside of yourself.

 

[bodhisattvaeimaj]

Basically you would absorb them through the skin on your penis. The skin is more absorbent than most people realize. This is just what I read on one site so it could be total bs but my inclination is that it's true.

 

[izzy66]

i talk to my various selves (as in me the mom, me the nurse, me the gf, me the friend, me the animal lover, etc) as well as talking to, and sometimes for, the dog, the cat, the car, the sun, the moon, just about anything. the dog and i sometimes have great conversations

nothing you wrote sounds abnormal or pathological to me. i also value time alone but having people in your life and socializing is important. when i go do something w/ my bf or other friends, i laugh a lot and come home w/ a smile on my face. a couple weekends ago i went to the beach w/ my best friend to fly kites. sounds goofy, was a spur of the moment thing, but we laughed and got great exercise as a bonus.
balance and moderation in all aspects of life is essential. don't discount the value of positive social interaction and do not forget to play sometimes. if you live where there's a ton of snow now, go play in it and have fun. no need to be serious 24/7.
don't spend your money on a counselor, dude. go buy a kite instead
-izzy