Is my boyfriend prude or just not into me sexually?

[Jersey_girl13]

My boyfriend doesn't please me. No fingering, rubbing, licking playing....Also, he only likes to have sex with me laying down from behind. I literally have to fight him to be on top.

I am very sexually comfortable with myself. I want to explore and enjoy my sexuality. When sex is initiated (by me), I immediately have to roll over. I will take lube or oil and rub his balls and his penis until he is hard as a rock and then rock his world. You would think that he would want to reciprocate? Another HUGE issue is that I recently discoved how to squirt, which is one of the most exhilarating sexual experiences I have ever had, however he makes me feel ashamed of it so much so that I won't allow myself. I am really feeling unattractive, unwanted, undesired, and ashamed/embarrassed. I have tried to put his hand down my pants and he with finger me for literally a second, stop, and go for sex.

I really don't understand. I'm an attractive girl. I enjoy sex and pleasing my partner and he is just, well, not a team player. Turning him on turns me on so why wouldn't it do the samw for him? Also, kissing him is like trying to pull teeth. He won't french me, close to ever. It's always pecs. I am a passionate person, especially when I'm sexually attracted to someone and turned on. I can't imagine being turned on and not have urges to explore or at least do the bare minimum to please the other person.

What can I do to fix this? We live together because of a bad situation. He offered to take my son and I in while my and my exs house was on the market. He has taken care of my son and I no questions asked. He tells me that he loves me and that I'm beautiful, and he even brings me flowers. Why make all these other gestures when you're not into someone? I just want him. I want him to open up and I want to have an amazing love life. What gives? Am I being selfish because he is good to me in other ways? I really need some advice. I'm at a loss. I don't want to start feeling insecure about myself because it took me a long time to get here and actually enjoy my body and my sexuality. Help!

 

[Tubbs]

Have you expressed your concerns? Try to talking to him, as a guy I can say a Lot of dudes think they're doing enough when they're not, talk to him about it. In my experience if the sex isn't good, stuff falls apart

 

[SamanthaB]

Hi,

I agree with the prior poster. You also need to tell him exactly what you have posted to us. If he is not into any of what you desire, then you have no choice but to move on, unless you want to be sexually frustrated and unsatisfied. Something that may come as a surprise to you, and a lot of women, is that men have sexual hang ups too. He may be someone with them and/or he just isn't into what you are. Different strokes for different folks, no pun intended. Nothing wrong with him if that is all he wants, just not a fit for you. Good luck with this.

 

[zephyr]

How much experience has he had? Sounds like not that much to be honest.

Maybe hes a little afraid of what you taste like as his aversion to contact with the saluva or vagina plus adversion to squirts sounds like fear to me.

It wouldnt be anything personal really. Some blokes just dont like giving head, i wouldnt know. I havent gad a shag in ages ha ha

 

[Markomarkh]

To op, you just gotta make him feel comfortable with you, sometimes it takes time.

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

OP, rephrase exactly what you posted into a statement directed at him, and have a conversation about it. It sounds like he's sexually oblivious, OR maybe he's insecure about veering out of the line that he's used to. If he always does the same things, he potentially is too nervous to try other things on you that he's not used to doing at the risk of "embarrassing himself" by not knowing what he's doing. Without hurting his ego too much, explain that you desire to explore with him, try new things, let's learn each other. One of the most fun things I like to do with my wife is have her tell me exactly what she wants, and give me constant feedback as I'm doing something to her. Like, yeah I know where her spot is, but if she literally tells me "a little to the left, and a littler harder" or whatever, it's a huge turn on because not only is she visibly enjoying it more, but I'm learning her so I can do things better next time. It's a bonding experience! See if you can convey that to him, and that sex doesn't always need to be a performance. There's a lot of value in making fools of yourselves together in bed. A burst of self-ridiculing laughter mid-way through sex is just about one of the best things in life.

 

[pofacedhoe]

sounds like you need to talk to him and tell him this instead of us.

you need to communicate how you feel to him in a diplomatic way