Heroin Is it too late?

[LostSeekerofLife]

Sorry in advanced I'm new to posting on here, but I has been an avid drug user of pretty much everything in the book, but my question here is that, I had been doing heroin the last 2 years, it started out from my friend who sold a pretty decent amount, so we would hang out every day and eventually I got into smoking D with him, D as in dark, or heroin, sorry...

But it started small would smoke anywhere from 1 to 5 points a day, and he would always hook swim up for free, so after a few months I started feeling like I had the flu, I hadn't hung out with his drug dealing friend for a few days,and when swim saw him He told him He was getting the flu or something, and he laughed and said naw those are withdrawal symptoms,

once I found out all of a sudden I felt like I could feel them all a lot more painful then before. So needless to say He kept smoking, swims drug dealer friend said don't worry brother ill take care of you every day for free, I got you I and ill keep you well'i sensed he had a high from me depending on him for it, eventually I started buying,swim had a great job and would before work, and loved it work was the best while on dark, but the I was spending all his money on it.

Eventually I said screw it and got alot all the time and still smoke 2-3 Gs a day. I had felt very bad about this because I am is a good person and doesn't wan to hurt people , plus I've saw how it has changed everyone around me, and I didn't want to Lose my morals ever! So I had enough of it, Swim went from smoking anywhere from1 gram to 3 grams a day, of fire you know p town, but to cold turkey.

I couldn't handle it,so got a bunch of method ones from a friend , I believe 20, 10 mg pills. So I started with 60 mg a day tapering down .5 mg a day, but I admits I hadn't tapered down a couple days Ina row, because he was barely feeling good with even 60 mg. so after I ran out of methadone a while later, and for the record 60mg was barely even helping but I had lost all his money from a prior accident.

so I had to be sparingly, so I would be sick but enough to handle, once I was out I wasn't feeling to bad, but I may have underestimated the half life of dones, so 2 days later I ate 4mg of suboxen because he felt shitty, that was 2 days ago and know I am in writhing pain again my bones burn and I'm extremely depressed, I'm sure It my own fault for not knowing. How repairing your opiate receptors goes, but I guess what I'm asking is it too late to go to a clinic to get methadone or suboxen, I hear they drug test you for the amount of opiates In your body at first so they could treat you accordingly, but I haven't used any heroin for like 10 days give or take a few days.

I'm out of money and I don't have medical insurance, would they still help me even thoug I tried to self treat myself, and did way too slow of a taper? I'll get money together if I could get into a program, but no insurance, am I crewed now?

Because I'm in a lot of pain and coming close t relapsing, but my will is keeping me here, somehow. I just need more help for this pain so I ca leave this part of m life behind, I know methadone and suboxone can be a trap, but I honestly want to quit, I want to be happy, will me happy part of my brain evr return? Anyway question again so you don't forget, since I don't have heroin in my system anymore will the doctors still prescribe me medicine to help, with a proper treatment and dosing, and if so any place that can help for a person who doesn't have insurance?

I'm 26 and want to change my life before its too late I have been through a lot, and I need to rid this fake dark side pulling me back I want to become a Buddhist or something anyway thank you. To anyone who takes time to read or respond, and thank you anyway for being there for others when y can may e good people are still left. And I apologize if this isn't the right place to post .

 

[FlawedByDesign]

^You should break that up into paragraphs, more people are likely to read it. Also long as you're honest about your sub/methadone use they should take you. In my area you can get into a clinic without any opiates in your system, just tell them that although you're 10 days clean you're still experiencing physical withdrawls as well as cravings which are about to cause you to relapse and they should take you no problem. As for the financial aspect, some states have programs that pay for suboxone. If you qualify Medicaid will also pay for methadone or suboxone but due to the amount of paperwork it requires for each person the Medicaid people always took a back seat after those of us who paid out of pocket.

 

[The.Ghost]

Welcome to Bluelight. I believe this post is in the right forum and that you've come to the right place.

I haven't gone down the opiate road myself, but I'd expect replies from those more knowledgeable to pop up soon. I don't know how strongly buprenorphine binds to opiate receptors compared to methadone, but I'd hazard a guess that the subs displaced the methadone on your receptors, sending you into precipitated withdrawal. Re-dosing the H might not produce much effect at this point because of buprenorphine's general blocking effect on other opiates.

I wish you the best of luck on getting clean. I know from experience with other drugs that it's hard, but hang in there.

By the way, we don't use SWIM here. I'd suggest editing that out before a mod does it for you anyway. It offers no real protection and makes posts less pleasant to read. And you might want to remove anything that might be incriminating while you're at it. Not criticizing, just letting you know how we fly.

 

[LostSeekerofLife]

Any better? Thanks for the advice, on the writing and the clinic question, swim just doesn't have insurance how hard is it to go?
And sorry about my writing I'm just feeling really crappy right now to say the least. How much longer will I hurt ugh...

 

[LostSeekerofLife]

Thank you ghost, I tried to fix it a bit, just hard to put the energy into this right now.

 

[Yaj]

First and for most, I feel your pain, opiate withdrawal is horrible.

The problem with most of the methadone clinics in the US is that they are for profit meaning they need insurance money or money,

"Because I'm in a lot of pain and coming close t relapsing, but my will is keeping me here, somehow. I just need more help for this pain so I ca leave this part of m life behind, I know methadone and suboxone can be a trap, but I honestly want to quit, I want to be happy, will me happy part of my brain evr return? Anyway question again so you don't forget, since I don't have heroin in my system anymore will the doctors still prescribe me medicine to help, with a proper treatment and dosing, and if so any place that can help for a person who doesn't have insurance?"

They'll "help" you, if you don't have insurance but you'll be paying per a dose till your clean, depending on the methadone clinics you have in your stat. They have a test to tell how far into withdrawal you are and they will dose you properly if you want depending on the clinic then you will be dependent on methadone/suboxone until you decide to taper to clean. If you want to quit for good YOU CAN! It will be really hard and you will get sick but opiate withdrawal wont kill you and you can beat it, the happy part of your brain will return. If you can make it through the first week of sick you are through the worst, even through the first 5 days and you got it... If you wanna do go through the methadone/suboxone part it will be much easier but will take a lot longer as in months of medication. If youre on benzos too the withdrawal from those is life threatening and you need medical help but if you're already a few days in, I would ride it out, that's just me, if you feel the need to seek medical help, ie methadone or suboxone then go for it...

 

[Rob27shred]

The main thing is to remove yourself from the people & places you used dope at/with. If you can do that the WDs are much easier to deal with. Don't get me wrong you'll still be just as sick physically but IMHO the mental aspect of WD is much easier to handle when you know you can't get anything & IMO the mental aspect is the worst part of WD. Just read your OP, you said you felt like you had a flu until your boy told you it was WDs, after that you said the feelings became much worse. The mind is a crazy thing & can make something feel much worse or better than it really is.

Also if your already on day 10 I'd just tough it out, you should be at the tail end of physical WDs & start feeling better soon. But I won't lie to you though, there will be many more challenges ahead in your fight to stay clean. Physical WD is just the first part of recovery. You also posted that you want to get on methadone or suboxone. I'd recommend you stay away from that route. Both are very powerful opiates designed to have very long half life's & are way harder to kick than H. Also they have a much stronger binding affinity to the opiate receptors than H. That means a much longer WD & recovery from using them.

If you really feel that you need opiate replacement therapy go to a suboxone clinic/doctor & ask for a detox using suboxone. They will dose you for a few weeks while tapering your dose down to nothing. Either way you'll still have WDs but after a suboxone taper they will be more tolerable. Also by doing something like this you will be throwing your last 10 days clean out the window & have to go through the whole WD experience again once you come off whatever opiate replacement therapy you do.

Just like you said methadone & suboxone/subutex are a trap. I've been stuck on suboxone for almost 6 yrs now because I could lose everything if I take off work long enough to completely WD again. Be smart & just ride it out, it will get better with time. But trust me just more intense WDs & suffering are at the bottom of the rabbit hole your looking down.

 

[LostSeekerofLife]

Cool thank you guys for the time you have taken to respond, I feel a bit better today, but its still early, I had to take a bunch of Xanax to sleep, not that I even really like benzos, but I haven't been able to sleep for the last few days, but for some reason I feel a lot better today, I'm just hoping it lasts, sometimes it feels like it appears out of nowhere again.

But bright side so far so good and I don't feel to horribly depressed today, you guys are probably right, I just need to keep pushing through, I just wanna go back to before I needed H to enjoy life, even though I just woke up, 1pm finally got some sleep, but I think today is going to be a lot better a least it feels so right now, I'll check back in later. Thank you again.

 

[thesameoldfears]

I think it's pretty fucked up your friend let you get so addicted to heroin without educating you about it at all. That's not a friend imo.

Anyways I belive you can get into a clinic even without testing positive if you're in withdrawals...I'm sure they deal with people who try to stick it out but end up coming to the clinic for help a lot. Worst case scenario you could get one dose from your friend and then go piss dirty for a clinic.

But as others said if you can make it through it will be better to not be on maintanance, you'll have more freedom.

Goo luck and keep us updated on how you're holding up!

 

[LostSeekerofLife]

Ya well our friendship is pretty much over now because he. Hs still tried tempting me because I'm wanting to quit and he can't quit, so I have seen him since I decided to stop,but I've been staying strong, today was a little better but then the pain just kept coming, not sure if its from the methadone at this point leaving my body or what, but its been over 10 days and I'm still pretty damn sick, I'm not sure whats causing it, I know I was using a lot, up to 2-3 grams sharing in that, but still I figured after this long the symptoms wouldn't be as bad, but they Re definitely a lot better thaw hat they where, but still can't sleep, and have a back and legs just on fire all the time, I have been. Ea ting Imodium like a savage, think that's been helping a little with sweats and cramps and liquid everywhere. I think I can get through it without going to a clinic, I gained some strength today, any home remedies or OTC meds I can get just to ease the pain and restlessness and also the depression... Anyway thanks again for taking your people's time out to help everyone.

 

[Nozphexezora]

When I went to the suboxone clinic I didn't get drug tested at all, even though they said it would probably be necessary. If you're in withdrawal then they check your pupils and palm sweating and ask you a series of questions to confirm that you are in withdrawals, and then they deliver a small dose and you can come back and get more if it's not working

I compiled a list of medications that help greatly with withdrawals; if you take all of these then you'll be better in no time, I'm sure! Have a little faith, my feathered friend.

OTC medication which help with withdrawals:


Loperamide is essential for both reducing physical effects and the explosive diarrheoa.

Passion flower and doxylamine both help with sleep and anxiety, while magnesium helps quite a lot with Restless leg syndrome. Vitamines (particularly vitamin B's) are good for general health. If you want other sleep medication then try Valerian as well, as it assists in regulating sleep (i.e. maintaining sleep 8 hours a day instead of 12 then 4 hours).

Ibuprofen and paracetamol are good for general pain management, and you can use them both in conjunction (200mg and 500mg respectively) without any correlated side effects. If you still have pain, which is likely, then you can rely on local anaesthetics (like muscle ache cream) to temporarily ease pain in your legs etc. The OTC anaesthetics help a little bit.

L-Tyrosine, an amino acid found in meats, is also essential as it can increase the absorption of proteins in your food. In fact, some studies suggest that it even helps with depression, which is a bonus. Milk Thistle helps with detoxing your liver and maintaining liver help, so that should be beneficial especially through withdrawal just to speed up your health a bit.

If you don't have an appetite strong enough to actually eat, like I did when I went through withdrawals, then you can try go to health shops or supermarkets and look for nutritional drinks (such as Sustagen); these drinks will keep your nutrition value up without having to consume much food. Regular doses of Dextromethorphan (found in Dry Cough Syrups; especially Robitussin Dry Cough) are found to help with withdrawals according to recent studies, and if you really want to then you can take higher doses (300-500mg) for hallucinogenic and euphoric effects, as it's a dissociative.

Warm baths and even small walks help with your muscle aches and RLS; and they can keep you comfortable. Oh, and be sure to stay hydrated with water.

If you don't know what products sell these or don't know how to check, then simply go to your pharmacy and show the pharmacist the list. He will show you all of the medications and perhaps even suggest other options. Most of the products should be in a pharmacy, except for maybe L-Tyrosine (which can be found at health stores) and nutritional drinks.

If you have access to it, then marijuana and especially benzodiazepines (valium, xanax, klonopin, temazepam etc.) help with psychological withdrawals and muscle tension. Other recreational drugs could be considered, but not necessarily recommended.

If you have any more questions then just message me or ask here on this thread.

 

[Nozphexezora]

I'm going to go ahead and bump this thread since it took a lot of time to compile that list.