I could be wrong, but maybe you just didn't really get to the roots, when thinking you did? If one would see the true roots of his suffering (while being mindful), one could just surrender to what is and really be "done with it casually", since there's probably nothing you can think of, that could fix it (otherwise you would be fixing it, instead of telling yourself a story of how bad/sad something in your life is).
I'm not saying I can do that often and if I could, this thread probably wouldn't exist, but I do have experienced it.
Staying mindful is hard work -_-
Maybe you could give us an example of some of those experiences? It doesn't even have to be true for you, just something you could relate to.
Btw, an interesting fact I have discovered a long time ago I haven't mentioned in this thread yet - it seems that cannabis helps me stay more mindful, sadly only for the duration of high.
Again, my words seem to have been not very good at transferring my thoughts. I'll give it another try.My intuition tells me that to stay in that way permanently (whether it is possible or not) would mean either living outside that shell of personality and not experiencing emotions, or living in a constant analysis of one's own emotions. Although even after writing that I don't think emotions can be analysed away, only repressed or realised and experienced.
Enlightenment is a state of mind that requires effort to maintain. I don't see it possible to be in a state of "permanent enlightenment", purely because one cannot apply this effort while asleep.
As Solistus said, anyone can explore their own mind. All it takes is time. Reading books on the subject also helps; my view of the world was completely revolutionised by Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson. As long as your goal is to understand the mind as clearly as possible, and you earnestly pursue this, you will succeed. Gradually, of course. While there are your little a-ha! moments, the majority of progress toward awakening is subtle and slow. You might not see far down the path ahead, but when you look back you will be amazed at how much ground you've covered.
And on the topic of Ego-death, trust me, it's an experience even seasoned psychonauts approach with caution. It can be anywhere between rapturous and soul-shattering. You might discover that everything you know about yourself is something you hate. You might discover that you've had it wrong all along, and the "second half of your life" aka. the rest of it after this trip right now is going to be nothing but paying off Karmic debt. You might find one of your best friends is the antithesis to your existence, and that this is the end of it purely because he's finished playing this ridiculous game with you. How do I know?
The aftermath of Ego-death (or, as in my case, near-Ego-death) can be the most amazing transformation possible. Mine has been more of an epic spiritual journey than I had previously ever thought possible. It is critical to note here that this is neither because of the drug nor the experience. The transformation can only ever be something you instigate yourself after seeing the awesome wonders/horrors of your mind's capabilities. If you don't put in the effort, nothing about your being will ever change. This holds true for everyone everywhere. My transformation has taught me so much in the 6 months after being triggered, but this has been through my own effort every step of the way.
Whatever you do: Do not just aim for a breakthrough dose and expect to be alright afterwards. You will destroy yourself. If you truly want to see the other side, and expect to make sense of it (and yourself, and by extension the reality outside yourself) afterwards, you need to work your way up, and get experience with integrating difficult experiences into your understanding. I'm not saying not to dose higher than you have before, because that is silly. What I'm saying is that if you jump in the deep end before you learn to swim, you will drown. And as much as I would happily dive right in and save you (as I believe everyone deserves chances), I'm not gonna be within running distance.
Psychedelics will never enlighten you. Everything they produce is quite the opposite of enlightenment. Maybe not if its a one time "aha!" and then leave it alone type thing, but when you keep using them it typically becomes mental masturbation. Enlightenment is totally devoid of any complex philosophies. The act of analyzing and picking at ideas goes against it.
QFTnothing is permanent
It is such a strange feeling, keeping on or wandering off of the path. In myself it feels like a balance between heart and mind, like things flow freely when I pay attention to remain attentive to what is actually good for me and not what is fun, easy and joyful. My point is that the more I wander off of the path the more of a conflict there exists between what I do and what I feel I owe myself to do what is good for me... and how well I can meditate completely depends on that balance.
I am sorry to say I have lost it when I got into a very difficult phase in my life and I also think that stopping taking acid has not helped. Doing it every so often was a good reminder, though what is much much more helpful is frequently paying attention and doing the work yourself to stay mindful.
I think it is easier to maintain a semblance of spirituality when you do give up all drugs.
Wouldn't you think having an experience, which makes you realize something, would stay with you (even for your whole lifetime, if profound enough)? It's not like an experience is a chemical that would be spat out by your metabolism after being processed.
^ Pointless if you're doing it to reach the top of a hierarchy for sure, but I guess you could say that I "chase the enlightenment carrot", but do so simply because I have a love of wisdom. Or, perceived wisdom. LOL.