into languish and decay

[bornaghost]

I've been using DXM and Kratom for about eight months now, and have recently decided to quit. I'm struggling really bad, with the withdraws. It's been about a week since I've touched DXM and I'm going on my second day of no Kratom. I started to self medicate because of my depression, now that I'm coming off all this my depression is back and at its worst. It's really crippling, I feel so hopeless and I am sick. I can barely eat or function for that matter. I dont really have any family to help me, I lost my girlfriend to cancer last year.. The one support system I had is now gone... Suicide is on my mind every second of every minute. I've been drinking off and on to help numb my pain but it only makes me feel worse. I'm at the end of the rope and I cant cope. I dont know what to do. I am lost

 

[Painful One]

Just hold. Sometimes the only answer is to just hold. I know how you feel but you have got to remember that this is temporary and good times will once again come into your life. Peace and happiness is just up ahead around the corner. It is worth it to just hold through the rough times. Do not do something that is permanent. This is temporary, how bad you feel right now.

The best thing about being lost is that now you can be found.

My advice to you is to try and find a balance where you can live comfortably. Not too much, not too little, but just right.

 

[herbavore]

Your life is really hard right now and anyone would feel depressed so the best you can do for yourself is to try to do things that will keep you as healthy as possible during the time it takes to mourn the loss of your girlfriend. Losing someone that was your main support is a huge, huge loss. It makes sense to feel deeply sad. Try not to turn sadness into fatalism, though. You can get healthy again. You can survive this and though you will never stop missing her, you can eventually let others back into your heart.

One of the worst things about depression is how futile everything looks. Add to that you are trying to come off two drugs that have given you some relief in the past and there is bound to be a difficult re-set period while your brain and the rest of your body adjusts. This is a time for faith and patience--faith that life can still present surprises and patience for where you are right now,( knowing it is a process that will take some time).

 

[Mafioso]

What do you mean when you say you are starting to self-medicate? Like just alcohol or other drugs?

Sometimes the only thing to do is to hold on and not give up. When a lot happens at once it can be hard to make sense of what has happened. There are times in life when the only way to make understand what is going on is to give it time.

Drug use often becomes a vicious cycle. At first people use to feel good, but as it becomes habitual and more frequent, tolerance build and the effects lessen while side effects builds. So you start using to avoid feeling shitty, but also to feel good. As this continues, somewhere along the way you start using to avoid feeling shitting and to feel normal. Stopping drug use solves one part of this equation. You are no longer running from the side effects, but now you have to find new ways of feeling good.

For most people this is normal human shit, but for some of us this is serious work that takes a lot of focus. Things like socializing, working, taking care of yourself, and having fun. For me I find that having fun can be a struggle.

Getting past the WDs will make things a hell of a lot easier though. Dealing with emotional struggles while going through WDs just amplifies everything and makes it worse. Try to keep in mind that emotions will pass and no feeling lasts forever. The tides come and go, try to hold true to your center rather than giving in to an extreme on either side. Things may be far from perfect, but they are not hopeless. You can still affect change and alter your life.