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in need of reassurance

tomcav

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 13, 2014
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2
I have experimented with just about every drug other than heroin, PCP and meth. I would consider myself quite the psyconaut, sticking mainly to weed, mushrooms, and the occasional LSD, pills or MDMA. I have had good trips and bad, but have always been able to handle myself and maintain until I came down.

The story begins on Monday night. I was given 2 doses of crystal mdma by a work friend. She said it was the purest stuff she ever had. Needless to say, I was skeptical, I've been told this many times before and it was always just your normal stuff.

4pm I break of a little crystal and down it went. Felt that warm buzz come on quickly. I continued this, taking a little here and there until it was gone by 1030pm. It was rolling on the most pleasant buzz I've ever had from MDMA before. I had some friends over and we hung out and smoked weed until 5am. When we smoked I noticed that I didn't feel the effects of the weed over the MDMA, which was a first for me and i thought was a little weird. No matter how much I smoked I never felt it. This was troubling because at 5 am when my friends left the effects of the MDMA hadnt dwindled at all! Well I decided to lay down in bed anyway because I had this to do the next day.

By 8am it was still going hard as ever and I began to worry. Knowing that panicking wouldn't do me any good, I stayed calm and tried to just ride it out. Around noon I took a shower and when I got out I noticed that I was coming down now, but very slowely. I continued to ride it out all day, I tried to eat but only managed to put down half of a spicy mc'chicken. At around 9pm I smoked some weed again, hoping to make myself a little tired, but again didn't feel any effects from it. Having work at 530am the next day I was becoming a little worried because I still felt very tweaky. I laid down in bed at midnight and didn't get any sleep at all again. I went to work and made it through even though everyone noticed that I was a little "off". At around 3 pm, Wednesday, I just sort of snapped out of the "up" and now was just feeling very strung out and generally weird. I ordered pizza and smoked some weed, I got stoned finally!!!! So I ate half the pizza but for some reason only slept for 4 hours before work at 530am again.

Thursday morning I felt very distant and separated from reality. I had a throbbing in theeft side of my head and the whe inside of my mouth hurt. I felt very depressed all day, but made it through and then finally "crashed" around 8pm. When I woke up Friday morning I still had all the symptoms as the night before but the depression was even worse.

I've never had such a mind-bending experience in my whole life. I got so lost inside my head and picked apart my entire life, realizing things about myself I never knew, or really wanted to know. I find myself at the end of this experience, today being day 4 of this ordeal, desparate to get back to normal, because even though nothing terrible happened, I still don't feel normal.

I have never had this sort of experience with madm, and honestly ruined this drug for me, nor have I heard of anyone else experiencing anything like this other that horror stories online.

My brain still feels weak and heavy on the left side. I'm still very depressed and starting to panic a little because I'm scared that I won't bounce back from this one. Please someone tell me that I'll be okay, I don't know what to do if I don't come all the way back. I fear I just changed myself permanently and I'm so scared and sad.
 
In the midst of my "experience" I found my self obsessing over this thing I came up with/ probably heard once somewhere:

"No matter how far you drift out to sea, just remember that all ocean currents will eventually wash you back to shore somewhere; and even if you dont end up where you wanted to be, you will always end up exactly where you are meant to be."

It was the only thing that really held me together.
 
tomcav, glad you are feeling better now. That just doesn't sound anything like MDMA to me.

I really like that parable you quoted, it does seem very grounding.
 
If I read that right, it felt like you were peaking on mdma for 12 hours? O.o
 
Weird, last time I did Molly, I had a very similar experience. I thought it was because it was my first time doing it in like a year.
 
Hah, you sound like me.

Mdma always overpowers the weed, but the weed will potentiate the e high enough to carry over into the next day. I usually can't sleep if this is the case, because many of the effects will strongly last into the second day.

When I smoke after dropping it just brings the peak back and yeah, I'll barely feel the weed high. In fact, everyone who I've done this with experiences the same thing too. Again, the mdma always overpowers the weed and we just feel the roll even harder.

You simply had a strong roll and the weed just made it stronger. It's nothing to worry about. Don't forget that weed will make the e psychedelic. It's a good combination but not one to take lightly.

Just ride it out, take care and in time it will go away faster than you think.
 
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