In love with an addict...

GirlInterrupted

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
110
Location
Rehab & Hospitals
It was so promising in the beginning.

We were both just two lost souls.

I was a lost puppy that has been kicked too many times, just begging for someone to love me.
He was a junkie, that was looked down upon by others. He just wanted someone to accept him.

We would get high under the night sky and look up at the stars, forgetting all life's problems.
We would try to plan out our perfect future.
I would be his perfect house wife and he would create art for a living.
We even named our future kids, and planned to move to a nice small house in Northern California.
We were so hopeful and blind.

One day under the stars, I looked over at him and asked him if our plans would still work if we were to keep using. He didn't want to be a junkie forever, and neither did I.
That day we agreed to both start tapering down our use and find better things to do.

[[[I'm going to skip through my whole with drawl and getting clean process]]]

The point now is that I am finally clean from dope for almost 2 weeks.
But he is still using routinely, not making any improvements.
My counselors tell me to stop things with him because he will only lead me down the bad path again.
They explained to me that he only cared for me when dope was in the picture.
I always knew deep down that he would choose dope over me any day.
I always forgive him for all the promises that he has broken and all the mean things that he says when he's hurting. I understand that his addiction is stronger than he is.

I know that being with him will cause me to use again, but I can't just give up on him like that. If something were to happen to him I would feel incredibly guilty. I care for him a lot. I really don't know what to do in this situation.

I don't want to leave him behind to die, but i can't afford to wind up how I was again. There is no guarantee that I will make it out alive like I did this time.

Advice? Thanks <3
 
If he really loves you, he will want the best for you, and that could mean a future without him if he chooses to use
 
If you feel certain that staying with him will lead you back to drug use then it is up to you to decide what kind of life you want. You're not responsible for his actions so you do not need to feel guilty about what he decides to do. It is important to take care of yourself...
 
this is the exact same situation i am going through right now.

ive been with this guy for almost a year now. we met in AA. relapsed together. we kept eachother high. i have my own issues, he is also manic depressive. hes a meth addict and thats what we were mainly using together. along with xanax, alcohol,heroin, weed, etd...we both got sober together. but he just cant stop. he keeps relapsing and he says hes lost all hope in ever getting clean. hes like a sad little puppy that i have to take care of all the time. hes abusive [mainly verbally/emotionally] and i always forgive him everytime. i feel sorry for him, like i have to save him. but i know i cant be with him if hes still using. thats the bottom line. its not a healthy relationship and we both know it. he will bring me down.

trust me when i say, you need to stay away from him if hes still using. youre the one getting better and if you want to stay successful with your recovery, you cant be around him. i think you know the right thing to do...its just hard. i know its not easy. but if your sobriety comes first, you will do this.
 
I left my girlfriend (of 2 years) and went to a different country to get clean. Not for myself, but for her. For us. I hope my little blurt helps. Give him an ultimatum; if he can't accept it, you should start "weening" off of him. Methadone and Suboxone can be a lifesaver.
 
Is there a chance you can convince him to get treatment again? Maybe as a 'this is the last chance' type of thing?
My personal opinion is that you need to look out for you and your children first. Growing up in an abusive household or with a father who is an addict, acting out of control, is not healthy for children to see.
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't leave- but I am saying that your happiness and your children's happiness (present and future) should be the top of your list.
When I Was falling asleep last night I kept thinking about this thread and how I didn't respond yesterday......it bothered me. <3
I hope for the best for you and your little ones.
Please keep us updated. <3
 
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