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In a halfway house

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baldtire

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
12
Hi, I'm in a halfway house that suuuucks! I relapsed here. I was doing so well when I came. Bluelight is a friendly enough place and I'm sure I can get support here, so hey.
 
Hey there and welcome to bluelight! I can actually relate to your story big time. I spent a year and half in prison, which is what enabled me to finally get past PAWS and see that shit does get better. About half way through my sentence I went to work release and thats where I screwed things up a couple times. Luckily no random drug tests got administered which would have put me back in general population and officially made me a felon.

With that being said, keep your head clear and straight. You are in a halfway house which basically means you are still in prison. It is not be taken lightly.

What drugs are you on? Have you tried seeking help from NA?
 
H. Yeah, there is NA, but I make too many excuses, such as we are only allowed to go in groups, I don't have bus fare, I'm depressed. I used twice after 9 months clean, which I got away with. And I won't keep getting away with. So the help will come my way whether I want it to or not! Luckily I'm not drug court, just SAI. Thanks for the welcome.
 
Honestly NA has never really worked for me. The last thing I want to do when getting clean is sit and talk about drugs. I was clean for a year and a half after close to a 10g a day habit. Recently I slipped up but have gotten myself clean again. You gotta find what really works for you. What drives you and what is going to keep you clean? For me: as long as I have goals set, there is no depression; there is purely determination. We all try to escape fear and pain but if you could use it as a positive motivator, it may change your life.

You gotta find your "thing" and hit the ground running! One day you will look back and it will all make sense. Looking forward you just have to take a leap of faith and trust that you are stronger than that. I have held the little baloons in my hand and stared down asking myself SO MANY TIMES "Is this what I am going to allow to control me? A relatively insignificant amount of a substance...."

Eventually one is either going to get tired/bored with the lifestyle, or die. Looking forward the path may not be so clear, but looking forward in time as an addict.... we all know what happens.
 
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