XSI11V
Bluelighter
With the fast paced life I lead, it's a rarity that i can find time to stop
and reflect on important issues; such as relationships with friends
and family and the general direction I'm taking in life.
The only time i find myself doing this is whilst I'm on e.
Usually I'm recovering with friends and it's becoming a bit much,
so I slip out for a walk either by myself or one other to take in nature
and have a good ol' think.
Why I don't think of these things when i'm straight - I don't know -
perhaps it's a 'male' thing and I only open up (to others and myself) on e.
I value these experiences greatly as I usually motivate myself
by making myself promises which 90% of the time I keep.
Usually I pour the guilt treatment on myself - "Well if you're going to
keep indulging in that bad expensive habit you're just going to have
to do such and such to compensate".
But in reality it's not like i'm blackmailing myself - I tackle things
like applying for another job or doing something to the car
with the sort of keeness I didn't know I had in me.
In the end thanks to e
- shit get's done which usually wouldn't,
and I'm much happier throughout each week with my newfound direction,
and work harder to deserve my weekly reward.
Does anone else find themselves doing this or something similar,
or is it my inability to open up when i'm straight ?
and reflect on important issues; such as relationships with friends
and family and the general direction I'm taking in life.
The only time i find myself doing this is whilst I'm on e.
Usually I'm recovering with friends and it's becoming a bit much,
so I slip out for a walk either by myself or one other to take in nature
and have a good ol' think.
Why I don't think of these things when i'm straight - I don't know -
perhaps it's a 'male' thing and I only open up (to others and myself) on e.
I value these experiences greatly as I usually motivate myself
by making myself promises which 90% of the time I keep.
Usually I pour the guilt treatment on myself - "Well if you're going to
keep indulging in that bad expensive habit you're just going to have
to do such and such to compensate".
But in reality it's not like i'm blackmailing myself - I tackle things
like applying for another job or doing something to the car
with the sort of keeness I didn't know I had in me.
In the end thanks to e

and I'm much happier throughout each week with my newfound direction,
and work harder to deserve my weekly reward.
Does anone else find themselves doing this or something similar,
or is it my inability to open up when i'm straight ?