...Wow. That was a beautifully-worded description of exactly what I feebly attempted to convey in my last DXM trip report. Really interesting that we crossed paths through completely different substances.
It started with self-analysis, examining all the problems in my life and where they come from, seeing how they fit together in a web that made perfect sense in a way that only organic processes can. These complexes are part of the fabric of consciousness that forms my universe, so to speak - my way of understanding, interacting with and perceiving it. We're used to thinking of 'the universe' in terms of space, the distance between galaxies, but I realised that this is only an extension of the real process that's going on - qualia, consciousness. That's what each universe really is: a huge network of concepts that form what will always be a unique vantage point. I found consciousness to be a far better way to understand a universe than matter and space.
I was looking at the patterned floor tiles and when I closed my eyes, the pattern bloomed into a representation of my reality, where everything fit together in a nice closed circuit. Then I panned out to see it was connected to other circuits, nearby human worlds and other lifeforms. These were in turn part of much greater bodies of consciousness, such as cultural paradigms and histories, and these were in turn intertwined with still greater systems. The entirety was incomprehensible, yet I could tell that it fit just as neatly as my own psychology. I knew that it formed a kind of Matrix and that each of us is but a tiny, tiny part of it, though each insignificant speck might as well be as rich, beautiful and extensive as the whole.
It was
crazy. I wish I could remember exactly how it felt to twist through the labyrinthine mindfuck. For better or for worse I can only recall the thoughts, and of course they feel shallow compared to the depths of the experience. Later in the trip I came back to it, thinking, why are we so eager to explore parallel universes and alien planets when there's more than enough weirdness to keep us occupied on Earth? Think of the complexity of your own way of seeing the world, then think of someone who sees it completely differently, who you cannot relate to and would not want to. (The trip had taken a very personal direction and I'd spent much of it scrutinizing exactly such a person in my mind.) Then imagine life from the perspective of an infant, an animal, an insect, a single-celled organism. Each is so fundamentally different to ours, we have more than enough alienness to go around. Can you imagine this planet from the senses and psychology of a fruit fly? That reality is totally different, yet it's joined through an imperative medium, a uniting factor, a consensus that makes it all possible. All consciousness, all worlds, are formed through it and of it. Most people call it 'reality'. I call it God.
Did you post your DXM trip report here? I'm going to have a look for it, I'd like to see how similar our experiences were.
Thanks to you both, too. It was a real rush to experience it, I'm glad I got some of it across and that I'm not the only one.
