I'm worried, but do I need to be??

[Skimel90]

Hi all,
I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting this in the right place
My partner & I have been together for 18 months and he's still hiding this "one" thing from me.. I knew things werent quite right about 6months into the relationship. I may be blonde but I'm not stupid! He is a needle user & it scares the shit out of me. I've tried confronting him several times but he makes up excuses & I just end up giving up. He knows I know coz we've had moments where he'll open up & say "I don't do it that much, it just give a better, stronger high".

I'm a drug user myself, so I can't criticize him for taking his drug how he does but I get really frustrated when he takes forever in the bathroom or I find tweezers or cotton buds laying around. He just denies it, calls me crazy! I dunno maybe I'm just looking into it too much. I'll love him no matter what but i cant help to think one day ill find him unconscious or even worse, dead!

Please let me no ur opinion, am I being realistic? Is needle using that bad?

 

[DooMMooD]

being totally realistic? Its more than just "using a needle being bad". Which, its not good. Especially because, and i dunno about you, but I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with someone who might be sharing needles. They always say "oh i'm clean about it" but the tough reality is most needle users stay clean for about 2 days total, and after that its free game. here on BL we actually have a few people who manage to do it clean, by they are by far the minority. Just because he says hes "clean" about it doesn't mean you should trust him on that one...

Plus, since you're both drug users: if you dont want to use the needle yourself, you gotta leave him. Hes going to get you high on the needle before you get him off of it. Just a cold hard fact. If you do want to IV drugs? Then by all means stick around, it'll probably happen in the end

Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is the honest truth of it all and both are something you should be wary of to say the least. I mean youre worried about HIM, maybe you should also think about yourself. Do you wanna get a disease b/c the one who supposedly loves you didnt love you enough to not share a needle?

Do you think its right that he calls you crazy as well? Hes trying to make it out like youre overreacting and jumping to conclusions, but its all really just a deflection. He's trying to treat you like an idiot (most drug abusers do this, its not unique, just a fact), when youre right! You dont just go to the bathroom for x time with a needle and cottons just to take a shit. I mean comeon, if he cant even be straight with you about it....

 

[Znegative]

The problem with this situation seems to be that your partner is lying to you. If he knows that you know, and still denies it, that might indicate that he is being dishonest about other things as well-such as using clean needles. I would make sure you use contraceptives if you continue to be intimate with him as we all know HIV has long been associated with IV drug use. A lot of people also think that they are being clean by using there own syringes, but don't know that you can pick up things like Hep C from sharing cookers, cottons and water.

I'm going to move this over to sex, love and relationships.

 

[tokenname]

being totally realistic? Its more than just "using a needle being bad". Which, its not good. Especially because, and i dunno about you, but I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with someone who might be sharing needles. They always say "oh i'm clean about it" but the tough reality is most needle users stay clean for about 2 days total, and after that its free game. here on BL we actually have a few people who manage to do it clean, by they are by far the minority. Just because he says hes "clean" about it doesn't mean you should trust him on that one...

Plus, since you're both drug users: if you dont want to use the needle yourself, you gotta leave him. Hes going to get you high on the needle before you get him off of it. Just a cold hard fact. If you do want to IV drugs? Then by all means stick around, it'll probably happen in the end

Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is the honest truth of it all and both are something you should be wary of to say the least. I mean youre worried about HIM, maybe you should also think about yourself. Do you wanna get a disease b/c the one who supposedly loves you didnt love you enough to not share a needle?

Do you think its right that he calls you crazy as well? Hes trying to make it out like youre overreacting and jumping to conclusions, but its all really just a deflection. He's trying to treat you like an idiot (most drug abusers do this, its not unique, just a fact), when youre right! You dont just go to the bathroom for x time with a needle and cottons just to take a shit. I mean comeon, if he cant even be straight with you about it....

Exactly what DoomMood said^^ brilliant post.

token

 

[Doug2113]

While I'll agree that he shouldn't be lying to you about it...how do you get Hep C from sharing those things if there's never any blood to come into contact with them? (I may just be stupid, I've never shot anything). The lying though may just be his conscious getting the better of him. Almost as if he doesn't want to admit to himself that he's a needle user.

 

[Znegative]

Sorry, should have been more clear. If people share cookers with their owne syringes that they've used previously, there is a good possibility of transmitting the Hep C into cookers, cotton's and water. I'm pretty sure Hep C can live up to two weeks in water also, which is pretty terrifying.

 

[llama112]

Talk to him about it, explain your concerns, and make sure he's being safe/clean.

 

[Miss Hollywood]

Hepatitis C can live outside the body in good conditions for up to 4 days. My boyfriend contracted it from me by using the same water and cookers (we were both IV heroin users). If I were you I would protect yourself by using condoms although the chance of transmission through sex is very low.

 

[Foreigner]

^ It can also exist on hairbrushes, toothbrushes, and nail clippers. Anything that can deposit tiny bits of blood from your body onto a surface and then be re-used by someone else can transmit, though IV use and unprotected sex are still the most major of course.

 

[i against i]

Talk to him about it, explain your concerns, and make sure he's being safe/clean.

how can she do this? if he's lying about it already, how can she believe anything he says regarding it?

 

[llama112]

how can she do this? if he's lying about it already, how can she believe anything he says regarding it?

This of course comes after the first part.
If I were her, I would explain that I just want to make sure he's clean, and that is more important to me than whether he uses needles or not.

 

[shimazu]

Yeah IV is by far the most addictive way to do drugs.
And Ive heard this from actual IV users so Id think they would know.

You need to either accept it, try to get gim to stop, or leave.

Id opt for the 3rd choice as I always said I would never date an IV user. Not that I wouldnt ever do it myself, I just dont trust others to be clean about it.

 

[footscrazy]

Talk to him about it, explain your concerns, and make sure he's being safe/clean.

It sounds like she's already tried talking to him though, and it's going nowhere.

In fact I think that is the biggest problem here - his lying and deception. Although the IV use is an important issue for a relationship too, I think that that at least has the potential to be worked with, while a relationship just flat out wont work if your partner is being shifty and dishonest, and wont communicate with you.

I think you need to ask yourself why he feels he needs to be so secretive about his drug use. It suggests a couple of things to me; that perhaps he feels guilty about his drug use, but importantly, that he doesn't want anyone questioning or getting in the way of his drug use. He suspects you wont be happy about his using, so he hides it, because he wants to keep using with as little drama as possible. Think about what this means though - it suggests his drug use is of great important in his life right now, he wants to keep using (it's not even up for discussion, by the sounds of it), and it wont be something he gives away easily. It will probably win if it ever comes between drugs and you.

I honestly don't see any improvement happening in this relationship unless he decides to give away drugs of his own accord, which doesn't sound likely to happen soon. Unfortunately, I can easily see it getting worse - as you may become resentful of his lying, and its easy for a drug user to get defensive and angry if they feel like you're threatening their drug use.

 

[motherofearth]

how do you get Hep C from sharing those things if there's never any blood to come into contact with them?

Hep C, as some have indicated, is a very resilient and nasty blood-born virus. Needle users can contract it from equipment other than the needle itself when a needle contaminated with Hep C touches a cooker, water, cotton etc. being shared. Any user who allows their needle to come into contact with previously contaminated water, cookers, or cotton runs a realistic risk of contracting the virus. Never share anything. Only use equipment under your supervision at all times. It is not worth the risk to dip into the same water. Buy a bottle from 7-11, or a gas station - it's a dollar and they are almost everywhere (in America, at least).

Also, I have heard of cases of Hep C surviving outside a host for 2 weeks. Terrifying indeed.

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

needle using is pretty efficient...that's all I'm going to say about it.

You're asking my opinion though, so I'm going to hit you with it - you need to break up with him. He's a compulsive liar, and you can't trust him. It's that simple. You need to tell him why, so he can sort his shit out and hopefully not take that baggage onto the next.

 

[1sweetpeach]

I agree with everything said before. Girl, if you are ok with using a needle, possibly getting a nasty disease or possibly having your shit stolen and pawned or lie upon lie pile up around you, then stay. All of the above happened to me (except the nasty disease, thank god! I'm one of the very few and verrry lucky) when I started to date a guy on the needle. At the time I was using, but booting up is a whole nother ball game. It fucked up my life double quick. And now he's gone and I'm the one with permanent scars, physical and emotional, that will take a long time to heal. You're not Captain Save a Junkie either, so don't think you can fix him.

 

[Danieldealz]

being totally realistic? Its more than just "using a needle being bad". Which, its not good. Especially because, and i dunno about you, but I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with someone who might be sharing needles. They always say "oh i'm clean about it" but the tough reality is most needle users stay clean for about 2 days total, and after that its free game. here on BL we actually have a few people who manage to do it clean, by they are by far the minority. Just because he says hes "clean" about it doesn't mean you should trust him on that one...

Plus, since you're both drug users: if you dont want to use the needle yourself, you gotta leave him. Hes going to get you high on the needle before you get him off of it. Just a cold hard fact. If you do want to IV drugs? Then by all means stick around, it'll probably happen in the end

Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is the honest truth of it all and both are something you should be wary of to say the least. I mean youre worried about HIM, maybe you should also think about yourself. Do you wanna get a disease b/c the one who supposedly loves you didnt love you enough to not share a needle?

Do you think its right that he calls you crazy as well? Hes trying to make it out like youre overreacting and jumping to conclusions, but its all really just a deflection. He's trying to treat you like an idiot (most drug abusers do this, its not unique, just a fact), when youre right! You dont just go to the bathroom for x time with a needle and cottons just to take a shit. I mean comeon, if he cant even be straight with you about it....

I'm an IV user and can exchange needles daily if needed. I've never ever used anyone elses rigs and RARELY even reuse my own . I know many more who are the same as me. Personally if I had a gf who wasn't already an IV user I wouldn't turn them on to it and would try to dissuade them if they did want to try shooting. Not all junkies are scumbags, I love doing fat ass shots but I don't use my addiction as an excuse to do shady or scandalous shit. Just saying you shouldn't judge someone solely on the ROA they choose, a drug is a drug. They've been together this long and as far as we know he hasn't tried to get her to do it so maybe thats not really something to worry about. BUT... The dishonesty and sneaky shit is highly toxic to any relationship. I wish there was a cut and dry solution to offer. How often would you guess he uses? What kind of impact does it have on your day to day life?

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

^It's not even about him using though really, she's still with him, so she obviously doesn't mind THAT much, it's the lying - he can't be trusted. So he either needs to stop lying and be truthful (hard to rebuild that trust), or she needs to leave him, with self respect.

 

[Danieldealz]

^It's not even about him using though really, she's still with him, so she obviously doesn't mind THAT much, it's the lying - he can't be trusted. So he either needs to stop lying and be truthful (hard to rebuild that trust), or she needs to leave him, with self respect.

I agree, thats what I meant when I said " dishonesty and sneaky shit is toxic to relationships"