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I'm trapped & unable to stop. -Heroin-

issokay

issokay

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 14, 2011
Messages
127
Location
Central Texas
I first used over 15 years ago. I was clean for over ten years. After a painful injury I was prescribed narcotics and as the story goes for so many, here I am 6-7 years after the injury, and I've been using for a few years now that rx's no longer work for me. I mean I can take thousands of mgs of morphine that I do get as a legit rx but it does little for me. At this point I haven't let myself go through the withdrawal in probably at least a year now. I don't know how I've been able to fund it. I've pawned everything I've owned. i've lied, stolen from/to people I love. my life partner wants to leave me, but I love him, he thinks I only care about the drug. But that isn't true. I want to save my relationship, while still not having to be in pain, just taking my ms contin and morphine as prescribed. But I do heroin multiple times a day as much as I can and rarely go more than a day without it. I don't commit robberies or anything like that. I'm not violent. I've done a lot of damage to my and my partner's credit though, trying to get money, & I have close to $1,000 in checks I have to pay IMMEDIATELY to avoid jail/warrant being issued for my arrest. I have a fear of institutionalization. I try to stop but when that sick feeling comes on I do ANYTHING that isn't going to hurt others to get it. How can I get to where I can just make myself take what I'm prescribed, which is a lot in comparison to most people. Most cancer patients don't get prescribed as much as me. But I do have serious pain issues. I won't lie. I do also use to chase that good feeling I had when I first used, rarely actually finding anything like it. I'm screwed up my veins, caused further physical disability to myself from a near OD a few years ago... my tolerance is so high now if I ever had to have surgery I doubt they'd be able to or be willing to give me enough pain meds to keep me out of pain if something happened to me. Can anyone advise me of anything other than 'just quit' type of advice?
Thanks
-A good person despite the stigma
 
Methadone could be a good option for you. It is a decent painkiller and you wont have to go through withdrawals that way. Rehab is going to be painful and if you really do need pain meds your going to be back in the same boat.
 
I was going to recommend buprenorphine...it's many times stronger than morphine, at least 30X more potent if I remember correctly?

Not as familiar with methadone but that'd probably be a good option too, as a full agonist.
 
Yeah, there are other meds you can get prescribed that are waaay stronger than morphine. Ask your DOC at your next appt. If he/she is willing to prescribe you so much morphine then I'm sure that he/she would be willing to replace it with something stronger.
 
i was going to recommend kratom but seems like your tolerance is so sky high that kratom wouldnt have much effect..u either have subuxone or methadone but i urge you to have a 'plan' if you choose either one of these maintenance plans..dont make the mistake i did and stay on methadone for years just because it made u content and u were scared of the withdrawals..have a plan to get on it for 6-8 months, work very hard at straightening out your life in that time and then get off!i dont need to tell you getting off long term sub or methadone is a very rough experience..
 
Methadone is probably best if you have legit pain issues. Find a pain management specialist in your area and make an appointment to see them. If that doesn't work hit up the local methadone clinic. It's your best option right now. A period of enforced abstinence might do you some good, just be careful to remember that when you get out you should try and hope on either Suboxone or Vivitrol right out of the gate to help address any potential future issues with relapse prevention.
 
Yeah. For the first year the danger of relapse is pretty great. Subs or vivitrol will be a safe bet in order to get some therapy under your belt.
 
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