I'm Struggling With Controlling My Emotions...

[she phoenix]

I'm 19 years old and as a younger teen I always considered myself fairly tough. I'd just laugh things off and/or remove myself from upsetting situations. I only cried every few months and only ever at serious things.
Since I've moved away from home to go to university my life's been turned upside down and I feel like I have very little control over my emotions any more (this has nothing at all to do with drugs - now I smoke the odd joint now again). I simply cry too often. It gets in the way of important things and makes me feel like a baby when I'm trying to be serious about things. It happens too much with my boyfriend, and often stops me from being able to talk to him about things because I just can't stop crying. I just feel so much more emotionally volatile than I used to - I feel much weaker.

Do you have any advice/anecdotes or anything else which might help me out of this silliness? I feel like I'm far too old for this, and it's affecting my life to the point where I really need to face it.

 

[euphoria]

I have gone through periods of time where I felt that way, and would cry several times a day. I just felt so overwhelmed.

You are not weak. You are going through stressful times. Becoming an adult is stressful. It's not as easy to brush things off as when you were a kid because you have more responsibility. You have no reason to feel bad about this at all. While crying can be therapeutic when you are crying constantly it just gets exhausting. Also, you are most definitely not too old for this! You are only 19! Moving away from home to go to university is a huge life change, and it takes some getting used to. Give yourself some credit

Some things I would suggest to try and boost your spirits and happiness are to exercise (cant emphasize that enough, even if its just walking 30 minutes a day), get sunlight/outdoors time, reach out and talk to people as much as you possibly can, eat well, hug your friends/family/boyfriend.

You can try to increase the amount of serotonin your brain is producing by eating foods that contain tryptophan. Turkey, fish, chicken, cottage cheese, nuts, cheese, eggs, and beans all contain generous levels of tryptophan. Some supplements you can consider to boost your mood are vitamin B6 and healthy fats like Omega 3 DHA and EPA. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol and focus on putting things in your body that will nurture your brain. Green tea contains l-theanine which produces a calming effect in the brain, so if you need something to make you feel better make yourself a nice cup of green tea with honey!

 

[tokenname]

I'm 19 years old and as a younger teen I always considered myself fairly tough. I'd just laugh things off and/or remove myself from upsetting situations. I only cried every few months and only ever at serious things.
Since I've moved away from home to go to university my life's been turned upside down and I feel like I have very little control over my emotions any more (this has nothing at all to do with drugs - now I smoke the odd joint now again). I simply cry too often. It gets in the way of important things and makes me feel like a baby when I'm trying to be serious about things. It happens too much with my boyfriend, and often stops me from being able to talk to him about things because I just can't stop crying. I just feel so much more emotionally volatile than I used to - I feel much weaker.

Do you have any advice/anecdotes or anything else which might help me out of this silliness? I feel like I'm far too old for this, and it's affecting my life to the point where I really need to face it.

After reading this, I have to tell you some bad news...
You appear to be human.
Unfortunately, there's no cure.
The only advice I can give you is: you're in the midst of some big changes. Those times are bound
to bring on all kinds of emotions.
I know from experience that trying to keep your upsets inside and not talking about/showing them,
will only give you stomach issues, and feelings of isolation..etc.
That makes it worse.
If you have a bf who'll listen..try to be thankful...alot of us humans don't.
You'll feel at home and yourself again, but you have to give it some time.
You will even out again. None of us can be tough all the time.
Hopefully you have some ppl close to you..try to lean on the goods ones.
If they're good..they won't mind.
token

 

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

Moving this to The Dark Side.

 

[Vaya]

19, too old to experience emotional lability?
I'm not sure that anyone is ever too old to endure prolonged periods of perceived loss-of-control over their internal worlds.
The reason I use the word "perceived" regarding loss-of-control is that it usually isn't as much of a tailspin as it is experiencing emotion differently, and the two can certainly feel the same. Especially to someone like yourself who, growing up, became used to a very different paradigm - crying infrequently, not wearing your emotions on your sleeve, etc.

This is not, however, meant to invalidate your frustration. If your emotions are spilling out to the point where it's affecting your well-being and relationships, I think it's perfectly natural to want to investigate the causes. You mentioned a life event preceding the time when you began to cry more often; that is, that you A.) Moved away, and B.) Began at a University. Both of these can be tremendous stressors, and cannot be discounted when thinking about why things are different now.

Do you ever feel as though you generally make use of your emotions in order to process life and adapt to changes? I do. And I believe that most human beings share this quality as well. Emotions are as much a utility as they are pleasurable and painful. Without the familiarity of your home setting (and thus where you've spent your entire life growing up), your emotions may be thrown out-of-whack as they struggle to adjust to this new world of stimuli to process, decisions to make, schedules to follow, responsibilities to maintain, and relationships to work on.

Because of their very nature, I've commonly misinterpreted my emotions being unfamiliar as losing control or experiencing some other sort of radical distortion in my reality. The fact is, though, that once said situations occur and resolve, it becomes increasingly clear to me that the sensation of doom was a reflection of my body and mind's (at times, frantic) attempt to adjust itself to the new environment. Invariably, with time, things fell into place and stabilizing myself came much more easily. Give it time, and be very aware of all that could be potentially contributing to this sudden change. But above all else, don't beat yourself up for allowing yourself to feel.

~ vaya

 

[Miss Kirsty]

^^^Nice Vaya......Gee she-phoenix, crying all day is just horrible...Have you seen your Dr? Is there is a chance you may have an imbalence, like a chemical imbalance???Not caused by drugs or anything...Just some people have em....

Ive gone through patches in my life where i couldnt stop crying..even though crying was physical agony to my body, i couldnt stop...But it was because of "things happening" ( buried my husband when i was 29 yrs old..lost a child...etc.).I dont think ive ever just cried and cried for no reason..not for any great length of time anyways...

Do you have a girlfriend who would go to a Dr with you? Lovely tokenname is right too mate....and shes funny to boot...

Whatever you do hun, dont believe that life wont change for you...As thats the one of the only guarantees you can be sure of...Life is always full of changes...

 

[pammy]

I struggle somewhat with my emotions at the best of times,i feel all alone inside,empty.lost and most of all i feel hurt deeply and i cant get rid of these sad feelings.I also know that i am deeply insecure all of the time,iv so many more tears to yet cry where does it end?x

 

[she phoenix]

Thank you for all the support chaps, I'll work on it and try to remember what you've said I'm really glad that no one just said 'man up'... cos that's kinda what I've been saying to myself. Miss Kirsty, I hope things are better for you now - sounds like you've had a hard time. And vaya, thank you

 

[Spooky Snacks]

I find that understanding the reasons why things happen will ultimately give you inner solitude.

For me when I see injustice and ignorance in the world the effect on my spirituality can be quite maddening.

But seeing things from other peoples perspectives regardless of how trivial it may seem can help you understand why things are the way they are and from there life is all the more pleasurable.

<we *do not* support rudely bashing groups of people here! Your behavior on this forum is absolutely inappropriate. ~ vaya>

For me recognizing that all walks of life have a place on this earth is the easiest way for me to help stabilize my emotions however the only caveat is that this existence can not be at the expense of your fellow man.


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