Get2Think
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2012
- Messages
- 297
I'm very glad to be part of such a mature group of like-minded individuals. I spend all of my time on the Dark Side because at the end of my run with drugs and alcohol thats exactly how my life had turned out: dark. It wasn't always like that, in fact like most of you you probley got a lot of enjoyment out of drugs and alcohol when you first began.
I have really come out of my shell these 4 months that I've been sober. I've never been one to post threads and lurked websites for years in the past never saying a single word. I think it was because of fear. I was afraid of the attention and I was afraid that there would be just 1 idiot who would say something that would cut me so deep that I would just loose my shit. I just want to take a moment and thank the mods, people who operate Blue Light, and the community. I can't believe a place like TDS on Bl exists where we can discuss drugs and cuss without a bunch of AA or Bible thumpers telling me that "sobriety is the only way, jesus is he only way." Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, but I don't believe in cramming him down others throats as being effective at all.
It's just so cool to be able to express my deepest feelings and thoughts and hundreds of people will read it. I'm just really taken aback by it, and I think it's jsut another gift of sobriety. I finally feel the fear of others and fear of their judgement subsiding. Im wanting to form deep friendships and be there for people and just be a good dude. This is so unlike me. I was a selfish judgemental somewhat racist, somewhat sexist chavenistic opiate addict that stole prescription meds and alcohol from my family members, stole money, lied without a second thought, and straight up used women for my selfish sexual pleasure.
Now I struggle to live life on lifes terms. BL (especially TDS) reminds me that Im not alone, and that I never have to feel as alone as I did during my addiction days. That kind of lonliness was on a level so magnificent, only people who have been there themselves know how it is. Whether meth, heroin, pills, or alcohol took you there. I feel we can all relate. I hope I can be as much of a friend to you guys as you have been to me. Thank you BL. Keep striving for happy destiny, you are not alone in your struggle to find a brighter tomorrow. STAY POSITIVE.:D
I have really come out of my shell these 4 months that I've been sober. I've never been one to post threads and lurked websites for years in the past never saying a single word. I think it was because of fear. I was afraid of the attention and I was afraid that there would be just 1 idiot who would say something that would cut me so deep that I would just loose my shit. I just want to take a moment and thank the mods, people who operate Blue Light, and the community. I can't believe a place like TDS on Bl exists where we can discuss drugs and cuss without a bunch of AA or Bible thumpers telling me that "sobriety is the only way, jesus is he only way." Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, but I don't believe in cramming him down others throats as being effective at all.
It's just so cool to be able to express my deepest feelings and thoughts and hundreds of people will read it. I'm just really taken aback by it, and I think it's jsut another gift of sobriety. I finally feel the fear of others and fear of their judgement subsiding. Im wanting to form deep friendships and be there for people and just be a good dude. This is so unlike me. I was a selfish judgemental somewhat racist, somewhat sexist chavenistic opiate addict that stole prescription meds and alcohol from my family members, stole money, lied without a second thought, and straight up used women for my selfish sexual pleasure.
Now I struggle to live life on lifes terms. BL (especially TDS) reminds me that Im not alone, and that I never have to feel as alone as I did during my addiction days. That kind of lonliness was on a level so magnificent, only people who have been there themselves know how it is. Whether meth, heroin, pills, or alcohol took you there. I feel we can all relate. I hope I can be as much of a friend to you guys as you have been to me. Thank you BL. Keep striving for happy destiny, you are not alone in your struggle to find a brighter tomorrow. STAY POSITIVE.:D
