Im in need of help and advice

[Damo12]

Hi there,

At the beginning of 2017 I did a vipassana meditation. Prior to this I was travelling and really connected with myself deeply and had so much love inside of me and was always very present. Really loved life and felt so connected.

The meditation went very badly as I was at the time in a long distance relationship that throughout the meditation i would get images of her with other guys and basically felt very negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, doubt etc.

EVerything in my life has been spiralling downwards and I always feel so low, like I only have these dense emotions and my mind is always racing and I am always panicking and worrying and finding it very difficult to live life. Im not working and Im just in such a bad state and this is just reinforced by negative thoughts and emotions and I am seriously scared for my life.

I have seen so many people but firstly no one really can relate and even if they do its still my experience and everyone gives me great advice but I just cannot apply it.

I really need help as I am really struggling and my family as such are too and it just adds to the burden.

Does anyone have some form of advice and perspective potentially looking into psychedelics.

Thank you for your time.

D

 

[Volsam]

Hello and welcome to Bluelight, Damo12!

I'd say get out more often, even for a solitary walk, do walking meditation, enjoy and embrace life around you, try to feel connection to everything. Do good things for others without expecting a compensation, volunteer. Do more of what you truly love. Its a spring time now so its a lot easier to do all these things. Finding a new job will also bring new conversations, new people - it will be stimulating and good for your psyche.

Also you can do mantra readings, I highly recommend a book by David Shannahoff-Khalsa - Sacred therapies: The Kundalini Yoga Meditation Handbook for Mental Health. Its easy to read and comes with pictures and detailed description, as well as linkage to DSM categorized personality dosorders.

As for the girlfriend, it might be hard, but you gotta let go of it eventually, just forgive her, yourself, accept all the choices that were made and move on.


As for psychedelics in this particular situation, I'd say, they might be helpful but only if you have a knowledgeable guide/friend or if you know what are you doing yourself.

Medium dose mushrooms (about 2,5 grams) might be very beneficial. Even more so would be a combo with MDA (for me) or similar, start with serotonin releaser as it will allow you to observe your shadow self without harsh judging or hiding, then take mushrooms (about 2 hours in) and they will allow you to have an insight on the current situation you are dealing with.

Above will only work consistently if you (or someone leading the experiment) know what are you doing. Doing it for your first time alone in unstable state of mind and without proper understanding, might harm you even more.

Good luck!

 

[Wiserthanearlier]

Sounds a bit complex and normally drugs would be the last thing i would consider, in this type of scenario.

I agree with above post, get out and physical and deeply internal (meditation to sport etc) will help. Also some therapy but MDMA may be best if you want drug assistance.
Personally, i wouldnt use psychedelics, as this will benefit from the gentleness of mdma where as other drugs may continue to confront.


Again as mentioned, drug use to guide in therapy needs a guider, the drug use only allows the opening of awareness. So please ensure you have good help around if trying this route.
A la natural, as in no drugs will work too, just allow some time.
Good luck

 

[Wiserthanearlier]

Please post more, there is a lot of help in this place

 

[Vexanize]

psychedelics may stimulate this sense of delusion and psychosis, if you are at a anxious/depressing point in your life try only using psychedelics ONCE until you're mentally stable again, otherwise, you'll end up like me in a treatment center for doing LSD weekly and going psychotic/delusional. I'd say sleep on it and think about it for at least a week, then make your decision. Hope this helps!

 

[Hodor]

If you got worse from meditation and your life is "spiraling out of control", the psychedelic experience might not be a good idea at the moment.

Psychedelics greatly amplify all sorts of emotions, and can make any fleeting thought feel so much more significant. That is why it is critical to ensure an optimum "set and setting" before embarking on a psychedelic trip.

Based on my experience I'd say that psychedelics can offer the most therapeutic benefit to people who are somewhat "stable", but who've succumbed to cynicism because they feel their life is going nowhere, or not going anywhere fast enough.

In OP's situation, on the other hand, it sounds like it could destabilize their life even further.

 

[pupnik]

@OP, Damo12;
Sir;
Meditation can seem complicated but it boils down to bare awareness, and managing the 5 hindrances.
When any of the hindrances surface the meditator can panic and give up:
The hindrances
• Desire
• Aversion
• Sloth and torpor
• Restlessness and worry
• Doubt
Bare awareness of a hindrance becomes a middle path between indulgence and suppression

this handily is both a refuge and a new object of meditation while also being a reminder that the core of all this practice is the middle way.