riverofheaven
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2023
- Messages
- 5
I live in the Eastern parts of Europe, currently im 22yo and am a medical student. Medical school here starts after high school, there is no pre-med but instead 6 years of medical school, if you pass everything on time you can graduate by the time you are 24yo, but the first 2 years are sort of pre-med or pre clinical. I got IBD at the end of high school and my life changed then, don't want to bore anyone here with details but this disease cost me my first year of medical school together with my undiagnosed ADHD at the time. So i started from scratch again while my friends went to 2nd year, and by this time my illness at least has gone into remission, well for the most part, but the big amounts of prednisone i was taking the first year wrecked my HPA axis, i got severe anhedonia after stopping prednisone during my 1st year of med school, around autumn and it took months for me to feel stuff again, but till this day i never 100% recovered, i won't say i have anhedonia anymore but my libido is not even close like it was pre IBD, i have no desire to masturbate for days even weeks if alone, but i can have sex at least once a day with my girlfriend.
Now when i restarted 1st year i also decided to go to a doctor and he diagnosed me with ADHD, i got prescribed Concerta 18mg. I thought this will be a game changer but i got disapointed, i didn't feel any effects basically. So he raised the dose to 36mg, now i did feel it but it was quite weak honestly, it's hard to describe how i felt then because i had nothing to compare concerta with but it didn't help that much. So i moved to 54mg, and this was better, but had massive issues where the cons outweight the pros, mainly the constant background anxiety, the urge to throw up, this wierd craving for nicotine, fear of sudden death, no emotions and being scared of sounds. So i felt lost again and thought this was it, im going to fail 1st year again and fell in depression. But then while browsing reddit i discovered research chems and read about 2-FMA, so i decided to buy it, it arrived after a month, i still remember when i first tried it, like a fog lifted, it was everything i wanted, made me able to sit for hours and study, no loss of emotions, no feeling of puking, no background anxiety, it dwarfed Concerta. I passed my first year flawlessly with this compound. In 2nd year i switched over to amphetamine sulfate cause of the rumors that 2-FMA is too cardiotoxic, and amph was definetly different, it had more of a body punch, like this adrenaline feeling not calming like 2-FMA but it still did the job where i passed 2nd year. But now at 3rd year i lost all connections for getting amph and went back on Concerta, and everything went horrible, didn't pass any final and im feeling lost once more.
It just sucks to even have to illegally get stuff that helps me function properly, the constant risks im doing with the law makes me feel nauseous cause i wasn't this type of person, it just sucks i was born here and my future doesn't look bright cause of lack of proper meds. Everyone out here with ADHD that has a plethora of meds to choose from, cherish this gift, thats all i have to say
Now when i restarted 1st year i also decided to go to a doctor and he diagnosed me with ADHD, i got prescribed Concerta 18mg. I thought this will be a game changer but i got disapointed, i didn't feel any effects basically. So he raised the dose to 36mg, now i did feel it but it was quite weak honestly, it's hard to describe how i felt then because i had nothing to compare concerta with but it didn't help that much. So i moved to 54mg, and this was better, but had massive issues where the cons outweight the pros, mainly the constant background anxiety, the urge to throw up, this wierd craving for nicotine, fear of sudden death, no emotions and being scared of sounds. So i felt lost again and thought this was it, im going to fail 1st year again and fell in depression. But then while browsing reddit i discovered research chems and read about 2-FMA, so i decided to buy it, it arrived after a month, i still remember when i first tried it, like a fog lifted, it was everything i wanted, made me able to sit for hours and study, no loss of emotions, no feeling of puking, no background anxiety, it dwarfed Concerta. I passed my first year flawlessly with this compound. In 2nd year i switched over to amphetamine sulfate cause of the rumors that 2-FMA is too cardiotoxic, and amph was definetly different, it had more of a body punch, like this adrenaline feeling not calming like 2-FMA but it still did the job where i passed 2nd year. But now at 3rd year i lost all connections for getting amph and went back on Concerta, and everything went horrible, didn't pass any final and im feeling lost once more.
It just sucks to even have to illegally get stuff that helps me function properly, the constant risks im doing with the law makes me feel nauseous cause i wasn't this type of person, it just sucks i was born here and my future doesn't look bright cause of lack of proper meds. Everyone out here with ADHD that has a plethora of meds to choose from, cherish this gift, thats all i have to say