This is the story of what you could call my "drug career", it's a pretty insane story(in more ways than one) so will probably be fairly lengthy.
I'm 22 years old, although I've just learned this, I suffer from Aspergers Syndrome. It's basically a disease that makes me a little socially awkward, clumsy, etc. The syndrome makes it difficult to meet people, being that I have a fairly mild case it isn't that big of an issue. The issue is that I've chosen the easy route of socially withdrawing myself from a very young age which has created a mountain out of a molehill. It has in turn lead to severe depression and immense loneliness over the years
Ever since I was 13 I've been trying to self-medicate using any recreational drug I could find. My grandmother's old Oxycotton was the first I could get my hands on so in 7th grade I started snoting Oxy and it all went downhill from there. I then moved on to OTC drugs and found a pot hook-up at the age of 14. From 14 to 22 I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on weed. I was smoking large amounts of pot at least 3x a day everyday for quite a few years.
I moved to a College Station in 2010(home of Texas A&M) to start my Paramedic program. I lived less than a mile from a major university meaning pot was obviously a very easy drug to get, but my EXTREME social withdraw meant I couldn't find a hook-up in Texas. I came back to my home town in Florida 2 months later after smoking all the pot I drive up via car in the initial move.
I used pot to cope with my extreme loneliness from my social withdraw, althought pot really isn't "addictive" it was all I looked forward to in life, so for my personal circumstances you could say that it WAS addictive. I came up with the bright idea of mailing myself 3 ounces of pot. I immediately regretted my decision after putting it in the mail box and wasn't able to sleep or eat for the next few days.
The forth business day after sending it I came home during my lunch break and realized it wasn't going to show and that I was likely looking at a few years in federal prision for drug trafficing charges(I had my prints on them from putting them in the mail box.) I had a nervous breakdown. My parents never even knew I smoked pot or did drugs in general, but I called them and told them what I had done. I was crying the hardest I ever have in my life, the time it took to get just a single sentence out seemed like eterntiy.
My father has been known to scream at me to the point of my almost wishing I wasn't born, but during that conversation he and my mom remained as calm as a monks. Inside I'm sure they couldn't believe their offspring could do somthing some so incompetent to ruin his life but they kept repeating "it's alright" and "everything is going to be okay" in reassuring voices. I was told to leave my apartment immediately and stay by the phone.
I spent about 5 minutes packing up some shit and was off. As I walked outside I looked up and saw dark ominous clounds that weren't there 20 minutes ago, the second I started my car up rain started pouring down. The whole situation seemed surreal and the timing of the weather almost seemed supernatural.
I went to a restaurant to hang low and after a few minutes got a call from my father saying they were on their way to the airport and my mother would be in Houston in about 3 hours(which was about 2 hours from where I was) and that we would be driving down to Florida from there. On the rainy drive up to Houston all I could think about was what I had done to my parents and what I had managed to do to my (what could have been amazing) life, my time driving was spent cycling betwen periods of crying and periods of trying to hold my composure.
We drove down to Florida and my parents put my in a local motel under a false name(we thought the feds were after me.) After a couple days I couldn't take it any more and bought MORE pot from my dealer. My parents rented a place up in South Carolina for 2 months and thought it would be best for me to hang out there and see if Postal Inspectors or authorities would show up looking for me. Like a stupid dumbfuck I packed the weed in the car we drove up to SC, my father found it after a couple days and flushed it without saying a word to me. About 4 weeks after I mailed the pot my father flew up to Texas to check to see if it was delivered only to find nothing.
After a few months my parents thought it would be okay if I moved back to Texas. I opened my mailbox to clean out 3-4 months of junk mail and among the junk mail I found my god damn package of pot. No, I'm really not just making shit up. It somehow actually showed up a couple months later, I sealed it a specific way in which I would know if it was opened and could tell it was not.
I started a NEW Paramedic program after a couple months tried to get Adderall scriped. I thought it would help me with my problems I was having in life but has only made them worse. I actually was able to get large amounts of Addy scriped to me for my legitimate (and severe) ADHD. I used it soley to get high off of and did small binges every couple days for about 3 months. One day I get fed up with the self-degradation and severe side effects I was beginning to experience and threw my remaining script in the dumpster.
After about 2 months I broke down and went back and got another scrip and it started all over again. I'm about 4 months into my second ampheramine go-ahead and am starting to experience awful side-effects, some of which will likely be permanent and will make my social withdraw, inattentive ADHD, etc. only more difficult thought life. I just threw the remainder of my script in the dumpster tonight AGAIN.
I'm fucking done with it, if I don't stop this NOW I'm likely going to ruin my life going down the road of Amphetamine addiction and do considerable long-term damage to my body.
Yes, the decision to quit drugs and make this thread was all make within the past couple hours but it's somthing that absolutely NEEDS to be done for my sake. Any support or criticism for my dumbfuckness is welcomed.
I'm 22 years old, although I've just learned this, I suffer from Aspergers Syndrome. It's basically a disease that makes me a little socially awkward, clumsy, etc. The syndrome makes it difficult to meet people, being that I have a fairly mild case it isn't that big of an issue. The issue is that I've chosen the easy route of socially withdrawing myself from a very young age which has created a mountain out of a molehill. It has in turn lead to severe depression and immense loneliness over the years
Ever since I was 13 I've been trying to self-medicate using any recreational drug I could find. My grandmother's old Oxycotton was the first I could get my hands on so in 7th grade I started snoting Oxy and it all went downhill from there. I then moved on to OTC drugs and found a pot hook-up at the age of 14. From 14 to 22 I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on weed. I was smoking large amounts of pot at least 3x a day everyday for quite a few years.
I moved to a College Station in 2010(home of Texas A&M) to start my Paramedic program. I lived less than a mile from a major university meaning pot was obviously a very easy drug to get, but my EXTREME social withdraw meant I couldn't find a hook-up in Texas. I came back to my home town in Florida 2 months later after smoking all the pot I drive up via car in the initial move.
I used pot to cope with my extreme loneliness from my social withdraw, althought pot really isn't "addictive" it was all I looked forward to in life, so for my personal circumstances you could say that it WAS addictive. I came up with the bright idea of mailing myself 3 ounces of pot. I immediately regretted my decision after putting it in the mail box and wasn't able to sleep or eat for the next few days.
The forth business day after sending it I came home during my lunch break and realized it wasn't going to show and that I was likely looking at a few years in federal prision for drug trafficing charges(I had my prints on them from putting them in the mail box.) I had a nervous breakdown. My parents never even knew I smoked pot or did drugs in general, but I called them and told them what I had done. I was crying the hardest I ever have in my life, the time it took to get just a single sentence out seemed like eterntiy.
My father has been known to scream at me to the point of my almost wishing I wasn't born, but during that conversation he and my mom remained as calm as a monks. Inside I'm sure they couldn't believe their offspring could do somthing some so incompetent to ruin his life but they kept repeating "it's alright" and "everything is going to be okay" in reassuring voices. I was told to leave my apartment immediately and stay by the phone.
I spent about 5 minutes packing up some shit and was off. As I walked outside I looked up and saw dark ominous clounds that weren't there 20 minutes ago, the second I started my car up rain started pouring down. The whole situation seemed surreal and the timing of the weather almost seemed supernatural.
I went to a restaurant to hang low and after a few minutes got a call from my father saying they were on their way to the airport and my mother would be in Houston in about 3 hours(which was about 2 hours from where I was) and that we would be driving down to Florida from there. On the rainy drive up to Houston all I could think about was what I had done to my parents and what I had managed to do to my (what could have been amazing) life, my time driving was spent cycling betwen periods of crying and periods of trying to hold my composure.
We drove down to Florida and my parents put my in a local motel under a false name(we thought the feds were after me.) After a couple days I couldn't take it any more and bought MORE pot from my dealer. My parents rented a place up in South Carolina for 2 months and thought it would be best for me to hang out there and see if Postal Inspectors or authorities would show up looking for me. Like a stupid dumbfuck I packed the weed in the car we drove up to SC, my father found it after a couple days and flushed it without saying a word to me. About 4 weeks after I mailed the pot my father flew up to Texas to check to see if it was delivered only to find nothing.
After a few months my parents thought it would be okay if I moved back to Texas. I opened my mailbox to clean out 3-4 months of junk mail and among the junk mail I found my god damn package of pot. No, I'm really not just making shit up. It somehow actually showed up a couple months later, I sealed it a specific way in which I would know if it was opened and could tell it was not.
I started a NEW Paramedic program after a couple months tried to get Adderall scriped. I thought it would help me with my problems I was having in life but has only made them worse. I actually was able to get large amounts of Addy scriped to me for my legitimate (and severe) ADHD. I used it soley to get high off of and did small binges every couple days for about 3 months. One day I get fed up with the self-degradation and severe side effects I was beginning to experience and threw my remaining script in the dumpster.
After about 2 months I broke down and went back and got another scrip and it started all over again. I'm about 4 months into my second ampheramine go-ahead and am starting to experience awful side-effects, some of which will likely be permanent and will make my social withdraw, inattentive ADHD, etc. only more difficult thought life. I just threw the remainder of my script in the dumpster tonight AGAIN.
I'm fucking done with it, if I don't stop this NOW I'm likely going to ruin my life going down the road of Amphetamine addiction and do considerable long-term damage to my body.
Yes, the decision to quit drugs and make this thread was all make within the past couple hours but it's somthing that absolutely NEEDS to be done for my sake. Any support or criticism for my dumbfuckness is welcomed.
