I know no one knows me on this forum and I'm not much of a contributor, But to be honest this is more for my self, Writing my thoughts down onto something seems like it would help. As of tonight I'll be taking my last opiates. I've been taking them for 4 years. I have managed to always keep it under control but tonight I'll be taking my last pills and tomorrow will be a new beginning. I'm going to start eating healthy and exercising. No more will I have to be dependent on Opiates. I started when i was 18 and I am now 22. Though i have not hit rock bottom on my addiction nor do i want too. I've decided to stop while i can, While I'm still young. I've had many friends pass due to opiate's and i refuse to be one of them. I would like to personally thank the moderators and everyone at the forum for all of the information and help you have given me. I have been learning from this forum for years. You help a lot of people and you all should be proud. Your information has kept me safe along side a lot of others. So thank you. Good luck to everyone.
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H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
I'm done taking opiates.
- Thread starter Hankhill
- Start date
sickofthisshiz
Bluelighter
Good luck to you! Quiting opiates has been one of the hardest things l have ever done...but it sounds like your attitude is in the right place. Like you said there is a ton of support and info here but also people who know exactly how you feel! Keep us posted!
SkagKush
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2010
- Messages
- 2,532
Congrats on the decision Hankhill, and best of luck to you! There may be a couple of things to consider in the road ahead of you. First off, dont be shy when it comes to voicing how you are feeling inside. This may mean having a good friend to talk to, or frequenting a meeting of some sort (na/aa). If you plan to exercise and eat healthy, than do just that and dont let yourself slack on those things. They can be a huge factor in keeping you happy and sober.
Also, not to sounds pessimistic but a large percentage of people cant stay stopped on their own, if you feel the need for support or help please reach out.
Best of luck!
Also, not to sounds pessimistic but a large percentage of people cant stay stopped on their own, if you feel the need for support or help please reach out.
Best of luck!
Thanks for the support and the advice. It helps and means a lot, More than you all know. It will be nice to have people to talk to. No one around me knows about this addiction, Maybe 2 people. They wouldn't understand. It's nice to know that i have support from people that understand. I really appreciate it.
Sepher
Bluelight Crew
Yep, keep us updated. Quitting opiates is difficult and living a life free of them is a long-term commitment but more than doable. As others have said a real world support network, not specifically NA though that's an option could be useful for you. Otherwise TDS will always be here for you if you need some support or just wanna vent your thoughts somewhere so you can make sense of them later. Welcome to the ex-addict club, I wish you every success. 
Hankhill congradulations. Seriously, congrats. You just opened up a world of new possibilities for your life just by even contemplating giving up the opiates. I quit that stuff when I was in my late 20's and it's honestly the best thing any drug user can do. That way you have your 30,40's and the rest of your life to live happily and unaffected by drugs. Once you get past 24 drug use is no longer cool and if you want to see what kind of a future it brings all you need is to go downtown or visit rehabs/jails.
Hankhill here's a few pointers that might help you through this.
1st) Your mind is going to try ANYTHING to get you back on the opiates. Your gonna feel lower than you've ever felt before. Depression/anxiety/ will jump through the roof and for that 1st week it's going to be a daily battle. The best thing you can do is stay busy and not have any way to get drugs. Cold turkey is brutal though, so be prepared. Also try to get work/school off.
2nd) This struggle will feel in vain until you get to 60-90 days clean. Those first 2 months are very difficult and you might find yourself in a mindset of grieving the fact that you can no longer use opiates. The best thing to do is use that money you would spend on opiates and buy yourself some video games, new clothes, or something to better your life. Get a new haircut, get a nice jacket, get something that makes you motivated towards improving your life.
3rd) You are going from slave to free man. I'm 120+ days sober and I can't even put into words how wonderful it is. My life is filled with a new kind of freedom, joy, and satisfaction like I've never known before. I used/drank for 10 years and now that I'm 27 and the consequences got to grave I'm SO GLAD I put down the pipe/bottle when I did. Hank your going to wish you got off opiates sooner. I promise you, it's so worth it. But you have to give it time. You'll start waking up in the mornings rereshed and happy. You'll start looking and feeling good from the exercise and start caring more about how you dress and look around the opposite sex. You'll have more money in your pocket and your life won't be a roller coaster going from super high highs to super low lows.
4th) Don't give up, if you aren't successful this time around, try again. If you can't do it cold turkey, look into suboxone. But dude, we both no being addicted to opiates or any other drug for that matter is NO WAY TO LIVE. It's imprisonment. It's slow suicide. It's being cut off from the sunlight of the spirit. It's miserable! And it's not until well into sobriety that we are able to look back on our using years and all we went through and 'shudder', then think to ourselves how insanely happy we are that we don't have to live like that anymore.
5th) Exercise is my new drug and I love the high it brings. I lift weights, go running, and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. People notice, girls notice, and it gives me confidence and a great way to spend my time. In fact, Jan 1st I ran my very first 5k. You get such a great feeling from running its this very clean natural rush of optimism and subtle euphoria. In fact, in 30 minutes I'm going to run 2 miles on my way to the chiropractor. Now that I'm sober, I take such good care of me. I'll spend as much money as necessary on me, because I'm worth it and I love me now. Good meats, fish, veggies... When you stop drinking you loose weight and it's motivating to eat healthy. I take all kinds of great vitamins like fish oil omega 3 and green extract EVERYDAY. I brush my teeth EVERYDAY. I'm only able to live right and manage my life EVERYDAY because of sobriety. And I owe all my sobriety to my lord and saviour jesus christ who broke the chains around my ankles.
God bless you Hank and I know that you can do this. Lean on the Lord if your finding the task to difficult on your own. Take care.
Hankhill here's a few pointers that might help you through this.
1st) Your mind is going to try ANYTHING to get you back on the opiates. Your gonna feel lower than you've ever felt before. Depression/anxiety/ will jump through the roof and for that 1st week it's going to be a daily battle. The best thing you can do is stay busy and not have any way to get drugs. Cold turkey is brutal though, so be prepared. Also try to get work/school off.
2nd) This struggle will feel in vain until you get to 60-90 days clean. Those first 2 months are very difficult and you might find yourself in a mindset of grieving the fact that you can no longer use opiates. The best thing to do is use that money you would spend on opiates and buy yourself some video games, new clothes, or something to better your life. Get a new haircut, get a nice jacket, get something that makes you motivated towards improving your life.
3rd) You are going from slave to free man. I'm 120+ days sober and I can't even put into words how wonderful it is. My life is filled with a new kind of freedom, joy, and satisfaction like I've never known before. I used/drank for 10 years and now that I'm 27 and the consequences got to grave I'm SO GLAD I put down the pipe/bottle when I did. Hank your going to wish you got off opiates sooner. I promise you, it's so worth it. But you have to give it time. You'll start waking up in the mornings rereshed and happy. You'll start looking and feeling good from the exercise and start caring more about how you dress and look around the opposite sex. You'll have more money in your pocket and your life won't be a roller coaster going from super high highs to super low lows.
4th) Don't give up, if you aren't successful this time around, try again. If you can't do it cold turkey, look into suboxone. But dude, we both no being addicted to opiates or any other drug for that matter is NO WAY TO LIVE. It's imprisonment. It's slow suicide. It's being cut off from the sunlight of the spirit. It's miserable! And it's not until well into sobriety that we are able to look back on our using years and all we went through and 'shudder', then think to ourselves how insanely happy we are that we don't have to live like that anymore.
5th) Exercise is my new drug and I love the high it brings. I lift weights, go running, and I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. People notice, girls notice, and it gives me confidence and a great way to spend my time. In fact, Jan 1st I ran my very first 5k. You get such a great feeling from running its this very clean natural rush of optimism and subtle euphoria. In fact, in 30 minutes I'm going to run 2 miles on my way to the chiropractor. Now that I'm sober, I take such good care of me. I'll spend as much money as necessary on me, because I'm worth it and I love me now. Good meats, fish, veggies... When you stop drinking you loose weight and it's motivating to eat healthy. I take all kinds of great vitamins like fish oil omega 3 and green extract EVERYDAY. I brush my teeth EVERYDAY. I'm only able to live right and manage my life EVERYDAY because of sobriety. And I owe all my sobriety to my lord and saviour jesus christ who broke the chains around my ankles.
God bless you Hank and I know that you can do this. Lean on the Lord if your finding the task to difficult on your own. Take care.
mrflowers00
Ex-Bluelighter
good luck quitting opiates is very difficult
LilbabiC
Bluelighter
You have all my best wishes for success. If you ever struggle in your recovery just come back to your original post here and it will give you inspiratiion to keep fighting.
Get2think, Thank you. To be honest I have not been too successful so far. I'm not going to lie to people that are trying to help me. I ended up breaking and getting some, I wont lie i feel like shit. Although I am going to be weening my self off. I'm going to hang out with a girl tonight witch will help me get my mind off of it. To be honest I was actually going to say fuck it and not quit but what you said brought back my motivation. Although it's only been two days I'm taking less of what I normally take a day. it's not the amount I'm taking. Its the constant taking them all day to feel "normal" I know i may not be successful the first time, Not even necessarily the 2nd time. But i will do this. I told my dealer I'm quitting and not to text me anymore. I know I'll be feeling depressed and anxious but I know that it will go away. Congratulations on your 120 days sober. That is really giving me the motivation to work towards that. That's something to be very proud of. It's just the fact my mind thinks I need these to feel normal. I have to break my the habit of not wanting to go the mall without taking piils. Not wanting to go out to eat without pills. It's ridiculous. i feel like this drug has got me up against a wall and is beating me. I'm not one to just let something beat me. It's amazing how you feel so motivated at a time and place and 2 hours later you can trick your mind into thinking that It's okay to take some, but I'm prepared for that. Stopping cold turkey is not the best idea. Weening my self off is the best thing for me to do. I just got so excited on quitting and jumped the gun with no preparation. Thanks for everyone's input. Thanks for the taking the time out and writing that Get2think.
Obiez
Bluelighter
Can you afford a personal trainer/motivator tohang out with you a few times a week? DO exercises with him, be honest with him, let him help you? If you can, then great, if not find a friend who is understanding of your situation and be honest to him because you also have to stop lying to yourself. From your posts you seem very level headed and not in need of this, but it work wonders.
Surround yourself by what you want to achieve, listen to motivational speakers when you feel sick, and do things that are not related to drugs, meaning don't sit on your ass while waiting to get through this. Keep busy and remember, everything you are feeling is absolutely normal and just part of reaching your goal. Ask for advice via PM to me or anyone else, we the ones who kicked it, love helping others do the same when they are good and ready! I didn't hit rock bottom when I quit, and the whole rock bottom thing is only partially true. It is for people who are way too deep into their addiction to quit through sheer willpower. You are young, you have a healthy organism that can combat this crap.
Surround yourself by what you want to achieve, listen to motivational speakers when you feel sick, and do things that are not related to drugs, meaning don't sit on your ass while waiting to get through this. Keep busy and remember, everything you are feeling is absolutely normal and just part of reaching your goal. Ask for advice via PM to me or anyone else, we the ones who kicked it, love helping others do the same when they are good and ready! I didn't hit rock bottom when I quit, and the whole rock bottom thing is only partially true. It is for people who are way too deep into their addiction to quit through sheer willpower. You are young, you have a healthy organism that can combat this crap.
motherofearth
Bluelighter
Good luck tapering. It is a bit of a slippery road, and I've never had success myself in tapering, but it i certainly doable, and it sounds like the best method for you to attempt. It will be important that you write out a plan if you are serious about the taper and stick w/ it at all costs. Refer to your plan frequently and check mark it as you follow through. This will keep you immersed in the taper and your mind on the goal.
Good luck.
Good luck.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
This is great advice. It's moment by moment, hour by hour and day by day and this is very practical advice for those minutes/hours/days.
Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for this place--for the people like you, hankhill, that reach out, risk saying "that's it, I'm done" and then have the integrity and honesty to say, "I fucked up." But I am just as grateful for all the sweet and earnest and compassionate souls who rally around to give support, no matter where they may be at the moment in their own fight. Right now is one of those times. Bless all of you. You make life so beautiful.
At the moment i can not afford a personal trainer, I'm barely making my truck payments at the moment. Witch makes me think how could I have been able to afford this habit. Getting up and doing things like i did tonight will help. I did not even think of Opiates. i went out and had 1 beer with a lady friend. Surrounding my self with things to do to keep my mind occupied helped. I just need to take one day at time. I know I'm going to quit and i know i will no longer have to be dependent on something. It's just the fact that I have to take one day at a time. If i could speed this process up I would. Just curious on how long will this take? How long until you quit did you start to feel good about yourself? How long did some of you use for? I get depression after not taking them for a day. Unless I'm out doing something to get my mind off it. It's just I feel like I don't want to do anything unless I take them. I don't want to got to wal-mart without being high. Does this ever go away? I want my old motivation back to where I would be okay or somewhat excited going to the mall sober, Or a show sober. I had this under control somewhat. I would take them for a week or so then stop for a couple days. But its a vicious cycle of after i stopped i would be depressed until i got some. I did a lot of lying to my self. I did so much lying to my self i feel ridiculous. There is a lot of people out there that are in so much worse case then i am. I feel like i owe it to my self to stop while I can. To be honest i did not expect all this support and help. I am in awe that so many of you reach out to help. Thank you for all of your kind words and support. I know this is what is going to help me the most. Tomorrow is a new day.
Hey Hamk- ever considered a *well-planned* taper schedule? It can really work and has helped me immensely. I haven't quit totally- but my use has dropped by half in the last year. I'm not where I want to be, but I am doing better. If you're really determined, I have seen my brother totally quit this way.
What is your drug of choice and what's your habit right now?