im cracking up

[megawoof]

i came out of rehab at the end may after years of having a major heroin and benzo habit. I new starting a new way of life wouldn't be easy but already im feeling totally over whelmed by just everyday living i know going back to heroin isn't the answer to coping but its familiar and gives temporary relief from my problems. I had to declare myself bankrupt when i came out of rehab because i had huge debts and finding work in this economic climate is tough but not only that but my partner has been sent to to prison for a sickening crime for a longtime which he deserves he was living a double life which i didnt know about. He expects me to stand by him but i dont feel i can even thou i still have feeling for him as i cant just turn my emotions on or off like a tap.I feel my mental health is suffering greatly just feel lost and lonely its hard to put into words. I know i should reach out for help and not isolate myself but already feel like hiding away under the duvet covers which aint good not even sure what good writing this down does but its a start

 

[itsok]

It is good that u are posting here. there are a lot of kind, supportive, positive, healthy, lonely, depressed, and bored ppl here that enjoy human contact, like me. Life isn't easy. Rehab isn't real life because there are so many supports in place and the triggers are attempted to be minimized. The important thing after rehab is the aftercare. What support do u have currently? does ur rehab provide any suggestions for after care like a halfway home or something, outpatient, and not throwing u back where u just came from except w a few more psychological tools and a tad more self-awareness?

who are u living with? it is important to stay busy and have something positive to do, recovery and non-recovery related (like volunteering to walk dogs or read to children or play games with seniors, anything).

im sorry about finding out about ur partner. did u hear his side yet?

 

[badfish45]

First off I'm happy that you decided to quit heroin, just hang in there and you will see things start to get better for yourself. I'm very sorry to hear about what your partner did, what they did to you was not right, and you shouldn't be forced to stand next to them unless you are willing to, don't let them weigh you down if you don't feel that it's worth your mental health. Don't isolate yourself, please reach out, isolation only leads to worsening depression believe me, I know. I definitely suggest going to see somebody, a counselor, and just find a good friend who you are comfortable talking to about these things. Best wishes

 

[shezinphx]

You are not alone. You should congratulate yourself for being clean this long. You really need to find a support system because sobriety is very hard when you are alone. What is your living situation like? Does your family support your sobriety? Please don't isolate yourself it will only make things worse. The web is an excellent resource in finding support both online and in real life. There are a lot of support groups that are free so maybe you could try looking for one?

 

[megawoof]

thanks for your replies you right isolating myself isn't the answer need to reach out to friends and professional support whats going on.I know i cant do it on my own.Its great to know that there is people out there who are willing to listen and help.

 

[oliphill]

Hi Brian, glad to here you got clean - well done - great achievement

Sorry to hear about what happened - I know it must be hard - but like you say heroin isn't the answer - what will that do, only cause you more pain!

The feelings you are feeling must be horrible - but they will pass and you will grow stronger as a result of getting through them!

What rehab did you go to, do you do NA?

Feel free to contact me if you need any support

Oli

 

[megawoof]

thanxs oliphil i went to phoenix on tyneside it did help knowing that you have done so well is a inspiration