Not sure if you can help or not, it seems like no one can really help me on this but anyway...I'll try and keep it brief.
I have been withdrawing from zyprexa for a while now. It has been over a year since I started tapering down from 20 mg. In January I switched to seroquel at 100 mg because I was down to 5 mg of zyprexa. It has been hell on earth for a long time to make it short. There was an acute phase that lasted about 3 months then I thought it was better but got worse again. I was even hallucinating for a while and it got pretty sketchy to say the least (my original diagnosis was BP II no psychosis). Parts of it come and go, mania (which I never had full blown mania before), depression, some mental stuff sure, I expect that. I am sure that what I am going through now is withdrawal and not a return of my symptoms but no doctor seems to believe me on that.
What has been troubling me has been more the neurological symptoms and I fear I may have done some permanent damage to my brain. Nausea (different from the initial nausea I got when I stopped), stomach pain, muscle tension (bad), burning sensation, paranoia, vomiting (almost every day), dizziness, and I have also developed verbal tics similar to tourettes that I think may be TD related and/or anxiety related, dizziness, loss of coordination, that kind of thing, it doesn't seem to go away.
In the past couple of weeks I have been taking 5-10 mg doses here and there of zyprexa and it helps some with the depression and anxiety but it doesn't make everything go away. I really don't want to reinstate it and taper even slower and go through what I went through again. I really can't go through that again. Not possible. It seems this stuff is impossible to come off of. I still take neurontin and want to stop taking that too at some point but am trying to get off of this first. Im considering reinstating and tapering, but now I have seroquel in the mix too that I still take 100 mg of. I was down to 25 mg at one point but it flared up again.
I've been to the doctor and told him what my symptoms were with the nausea and stuff, I tried explaining it to him but he was a total prick and didn't even listen to what I was trying to tell him and he sent me home with a bipolar diagnosis at a walk in clinic. Waste of money. Anyway not sure what to do here and most docs don't seem to know much about this type of withdrawal. I am scared about what's happening with my brain. Feels totally fucked up and I really can't take much more of this. It has been hell for almost a year.
So right now I am on 900 mg of neurontin at night (seems to help some with the wd but not looking forward to WDing again after this)
100 mg of seroquel
Some zyprexa at around 10 mg for relief.
I also supplement with 5000 mcg B12 (sl) and a magnesium supplement (both help)
Have access to plenty of meds and drugs none of it is helping. I think I fucked something up in my brain, I know that doesn't sound reasonable but I've been in the same place for a while now)
Drink alcohol and smoke weed to cope, I know it's counterproductive but I'm on the edge here.