I'm an addict, depressed.. Should I see a doctor for a prescription?

[PolandSpring]

Hello all. Sorry this is long, thank you for reading. I'm new to the forum. Here's my story: I'm 20 years old and find it extremely difficult to get through my day sober. For 6 years I smoked pot religiously and could not do anything without being high. Currently I smoke about 1-2 ounces per week. Also, there have been times when I was forced to quit pot temporarily and I drank alcohol every day during this time. Now I love to get sh**faced drunk and practically black out every time alcohol is around. so i may have an alcohol problem. But Marijuana is my main addiction. Let me add that last winter I tried cocaine (after having steered clear of hard drugs for so long) and became addicted instantaneously my first night of trying it. During that winter I did coke every day and had a serious problem.

Well after getting arrested for possession and a dui (for pot.. lame I know) in December.. I'm now on probation. This was enough motivation for me to quit the drugs because I was going to get drug tested. (but this is when i drank every day) After going 2 months not hearing from the probation office I decided to relapse on pot and went back to smoking hardcore. I finally got the probation letter in the mail (lol) so I'm quitting again cause I'm getting drug tested July 12.

It's really hard for me not to smoke pot.. Today's actually day 1 clean off pot. I have a serious inability to function and interact with people properly when I'm coming off pot. (well actually i have this problem all the time). But at the end of the day today after a long hard day of work, I was able to obtain a Ritalin and snorted it. Although it was mild, it helped me. I've never done anything like this before.

I feel I have extreme anxiety and depression and a whole list of issues that I won't get into. I tried quitting so many times. Do I have a mental disorder and addictive personality severe enough that I should seek professional help? Should I seek a prescription to drugs that may help me?

I've been thinking about this a lot.. at first I considered obtaining adderall or ritalin illegally. I liked doing coke back then a lot. Then after researching the net a bit, I believe I may actually have ADHD since many of my issues are serious ADHD symptoms.. but I'm not sure and don't want to diagnose myself. So then I considered going to a doctor to try and get my own prescription to Adderall. But I'm so into euphoric rushes I'm afraid I'm going to be using the pills to just abuse it. Also.. I'm not sure what the doctor will actually prescribe me.. I don't know if i want to take any antidepressants I feel I'd rather be prescribed a stimulant.

I've heard that adderall helps with depression. If a prescription can really just help me not seek getting high all the time maybe I'll be able to take adderall (or Ritalin) as prescribed for my "ADHD" and not abuse it. I have no idea I'm rambling I just need SOMETHING and don't know what to do. I'm not smoking pot anymore because of probation.

Or should i just start going to NA meetings, meditate like crazy, conquer my addiction, and get high on life?? hahaa that has never worked in the past. I want to meditate and be healthy and all that...I just love drugs too much and am wondering if maybe this is a solution for me.

Anyway I don't know much about drugs and pills and whatnot and I know my story is quite mild compared to some really hard users.. I'm hoping you guys have some good advice. thanks for listening!

 

[dieselbaby]

Sounds to me like you still want to get high...why don't you stock up on some spice blends and synthetic cannabinoids? They'll get you just as high if not higher than smoking regular weed. If you need any suggestions on certain cannabinoids or brands of herbal blends to get let me know and I can point you in the right direction. Won't show up - I don't think they even have a drug test that could test for it and mostly any labs using GC/MS except for maybe like THCPHarm in Germany or some obscure places would even have the reference chemicals to find some the more obscure cannabinoid compounds/metabolites in your urine anyway. So you'd be golden.

It also doesn't seem to me like you're putting too much rational thought into all of this. You're seriously thinking that it would be a wise idea for you to fake symptoms to get a script for adderall? It sounds to me like you have an extremely addictive personality and an adderall prescription + your aforementioned love of stimulants (coke use) equals a disaster waiting to happen. You're not going to be able to magically find some pill that will make the way you are feeling change, and looking for ways to get different drugs and scam doctors is not what we're here to help you do.

 

[PolandSpring]

Yeah you're right I was kinda forcing myself to believe i wasn't scamming the doctor because I feel clinically depressed sometimes and just want to be happy. If I do decide to go to the doctor I wouldn't lie. I think I do need professional help. I guess that's up for him to decide what I need.

And you're right I do just want to get high all the time. God damn it. i want to stop wanting to be high for everything like normal people

Spice blends and synthetic cannabinoids?? Don't show up on drug test?? What/!?! I have never heard of this and why isn't everybody doing it? I wish to know more about this.

 

[dieselbaby]

Spice blends and synthetic cannabinoids?? Don't show up on drug test?? What/!?! I have never heard of this and why isn't everybody doing it? I wish to know more about this.

Spice is a general slang term for any synthetic herbal blend that has cannabinoids in it. Works on the same receptor sites in your brain as THC and other cannabinoids in weed do, but it won't show up on any drug tests. Actually does work. I don't think it's kosher for me to link to sites that sell it on here but you can easily find it on google. Some of the brands I recommend are Buzz, Samurai Spirit, Pulse, Fire & Ice, Serenity Now & PEP Spice. They also sell it at head shops, try a local headshop and call them up to see if you can find it nearby. Make sure you get a new piece to smoke it out of though so you don't get dirty piss from the THC resin in an old pipe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spice_(drug)

Alternatively, you could get the raw JWH and alike powders but you don't sound like you know too much about this kind of stuff so I'd just stick to the smoking blends. They've come down a lot in price and are comparable in price to a decently cheap bag of weed.

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Yeah you're right I was kinda forcing myself to believe i wasn't scamming the doctor because I feel clinically depressed sometimes and just want to be happy. If I do decide to go to the doctor I wouldn't lie. I think I do need professional help. I guess that's up for him to decide what I need.

And you're right I do just want to get high all the time. God damn it. i want to stop wanting to be high for everything like normal people

Spice blends and synthetic cannabinoids?? Don't show up on drug test?? What/!?! I have never heard of this and why isn't everybody doing it? I wish to know more about this.

Straight up chemical are rarely a valid solution to becoming happy. I personally think that in order to be happy you have to be working hard and making progress in achieving challenging goals that you set for yourself. Sure benzos and adderall and whatnot will "make you happy", but in reality if you don't have at least some aspects of your life sorted out, I think you'll eventually get a tolerance to such drugs and be back to where you came from. Habitual drugs use in any form is never a good idea, even if it's a socially accepted drug like adderall or benzos.

Don't get me wrong, I am have my own set of issues and I understand how hard it can be to get things straight (by your own standards - you shouldn't be comparing yourself to relative "fuckups"), but that's just my take on things. If you feel that you really need a benzo prescription or something then go for it. I am just warning that with such things there can be tendency to choose the "easy" by getting high instead of dealing with your problems in more difficult, but far more rewarding manner.

Yeah synthetic cannabanoids are pretty common, even government are slowly starting to get the hang of them. Recently hear in Ukraine there were a series of 'moral panic' reports about aroma blends (Spice mostly) and stuff. They are good solution if you really need to smoke and you are going to get tested, but I still prefer weed to synthetic cannabanoids. They have a distinctly synthetic feel and I find the high to be more "shallow" than with the real thing. Sometimes on weed I have psychedelic like revelation and I feel like I can approach problematic aspects of my personality without feeling guilt, but on Spice I just feel kinda stoned.

Take care!

 

[PolandSpring]

yeah levictus you're right finding another way to get high is just going to prolong my misery. Clean off drugs is probably the best way to go..just.. ughhhhhh it's hard to think logically sometimes i go back and forth.

As for the pot alternative...

Is this the same thing as those "legal bud" advertisements I see online? I remember seeing those a couple years ago and found out that were basically a scam.

But after researching online I'm pretty sure the stuff you're talking about is legit.

are spice blends significantly more harmful to your health than pot? And also this JWH-018 stuff.. it's a powder? How do you take this? Although I'm inexperienced with this stuff, I wanna learn more about the JWH if it's more pure and gets me really high then I'll try it.. especially if it can spare my lungs from smoking the herb stuff that contains god knows what

 

[unsettled]

I can completely relate to your dilemma, I'm ten years older than you, but I smoked pot daily for years and switched to alcohol when I couldn't do pot and then other things when alcohol and pot got boring. I still want to be high all the time, and to be completely honest with myself I'm always on something, only difference is now it's all prescribed, but still like the poster above said, pills and drugs do not bring happiness.

Here's my advice, you've realized you are depressed unless you are high 24/7, this is actually a stepping stone. If I were you I would go to a doctor, or psychiatrist, or psychologist and just tell them what you've told us. This gets you thinking about what you are doing and why you doing it. Just making the doctors appointment will probably make you feel better because you'll be doing something about it, being proactive if you will.

See what the doc says, in the meantime try to moderate if you can. Take it all one day at a time, it can all seem overwhelming at times but you're not the only one with this dilemma.

Let us know what you do.

Cheers.

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

yeah levictus you're right finding another way to get high is just going to prolong my misery. Clean off drugs is probably the best way to go..just.. ughhhhhh it's hard to think logically sometimes i go back and forth.

As for the pot alternative...

Is this the same thing as those "legal bud" advertisements I see online? I remember seeing those a couple years ago and found out that were basically a scam.

But after researching online I'm pretty sure the stuff you're talking about is legit.

are spice blends significantly more harmful to your health than pot? And also this JWH-018 stuff.. it's a powder? How do you take this? Although I'm inexperienced with this stuff, I wanna learn more about the JWH if it's more pure and gets me really high then I'll try it.. especially if it can spare my lungs from smoking the herb stuff that contains god knows what

the JWH and WINS stuff is legit. It's just a synthetic THC like substance. I would say it's pretty much the same dangerous as smoking pot unless JWH creates some sort of long term damage that we don't know about (but that's any relatively new RC for you). As far I know you don't even have to smoke it if you get it as a powder, I think you can just eat the powder. I'd stick to spice though, you can get it online or at a local headshop (they'll rip you off though).

 

[dieselbaby]

the JWH and WINS stuff is legit. It's just a synthetic THC like substance. I would say it's pretty much the same dangerous as smoking pot unless JWH creates some sort of long term damage that we don't know about (but that's any relatively new RC for you). As far I know you don't even have to smoke it if you get it as a powder, I think you can just eat the powder. I'd stick to spice though, you can get it online or at a local headshop (they'll rip you off though).

he's right on, this guy above^^^...

stick with the herbal blends. for example, JWH-018 is active in the SINGLE MILLIGRAM range (like 3-7 mg doses) and you would need a very accurate milligram scale and a method of dosing that in order to safely do it. Not saying it can't be done, but OP, you sound like the kind of person who wouldn't really know what to do in this situation. I'd really stick with the smoking blends. The ones I recommended earlier (especially Buzz and Samurai Spirit) give you a great value for the cost. Lasts longer than regular weed too, in my opinion.

 

[trocious]

I feel you man, I'm almost in the same place.

I really recommend against getting the adderall. If you want an anti-depressant, go with Welbutrin. It is really helpful for me, in fact I would be done without it.

Best of luck.

 

[anterrabae]

See a psychiatrist. Don't fuck around and fake a symptom just to get the drug you want prescribed. Chances are a phd will see right through it. One of my friends tried getting ritalin or adderall for her first year at Harvard Law. Doctor was not fooled and ended up making her realize she had depression and anxiety. Now she's happy on Wellbutrin and Celexa.

It sounds to me you're not ready to be sober and nothing and no one can get you to that place. If you're looking for a psych that will prescribe you a narcotic, don't bother. But if you truly want help and sobriety, seek a doctor out and be flat out honest.

 

[chompy]

Go see a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis. Sounds like you could have aspergers or some sort of OCD

 

[Kaelfi]

I was badly addicted to cocaine and an adult with undiagnosed ADHD. It was actually my ex who while in psych wrote a paper entitled "The Self Medication Hypothesis:
ADHD & Chronic Cocaine Abuse - A Literature Review". In it she hypothesised that my chronic cocaine abuse was an atempt by me to feel "normal" because of the way that I was using - many times with small amounts, that and the fact that while on coke I was calm and very focused.

I found a psychiatrist and discovered a new living hell, Ritalin addiction (then Dexedrine addiction, not as terrible and griping as the Ritalin, but still really bad). I was double doctoring, tripple doctoring, stealling from kids meds, you name it!

I also smoked prodigious amounts of pot and started growing it to keep supplied. Being a quick study and a good little pot head I got really good at that, freinds called it "acid-pot" or "wheel-chair-chronic". I was smoking so much (sometimes 30 grams in a day - I sh*t you not!!!) that my tolerance went into the stratosphere. When I came off it I was a mess! I was being urine-tested and pissed "hot" for 4++ months - my doctor laughed because he knew I was clean but I had consumed so much over so long that it took that long for it to leach from my body!

Oh yeah then I started drinking LOTS! 12 - beer in a day was not uncommon for me. In an attempt to slow me down or get me some sanity my ex came with me to my shrinks appointments, by now she suspected bi-polar disorder, and got me on mood stabilizers - those were fun when washed down with beer...

At any rate, my point is this, you are young, you may indeed have an issue with brain chemistry - I can relate very strongly here! But be REALLY carefull, starting on pharma-grade stimulants can be a pandora's box you don't wanna open!!!

I know it is hard, I have to live inside my head 24/7 - spooky at times, but better these days. I personally take lots of nutritional suplements (they are proven effective, but big pharma cannot patent them and make silos of cash, doctors are not trained in their effectiveness or use - sad) and have never felt better. I am much more stable, I have focus and can funtion.

I so can relate to you (just re-read your original post!) and I know the pain you have been through. Please be carefull, do lots of research and try to find a good doctor. It is not easy, but I can guarantee that it can become exponentially worse, and real fast!!!