Newbeginniing
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2018
- Messages
- 11
Past addictions/drug use: Opiates/Opioids, Cocaine, Crack, Crystal Meth, Benzodiazepines, Tobacco, Nicotine, etc.
Trip Report/Testimonial:
So I had my trip on Thursday morning. I was scared to indulge into the Iboga after my last relapse.
Things just weren't the same, my spunk wasn't all there. I was simply terrified. But I had to do it. I needed to quit the cigarettes and get rid of my drug cravings that had resurfaced when I opened up pandoras box, I just had to....
I had tried to quit the cigarettes on my own before the trip. I wanted to try and get a few days without them before the trip to increase my chances at quitting the things, but unfortunately I wasn't even able to go a full 24 hours without them this time!!
It had found itself extremely difficult for me to say the least. I have heard that every time you start smoking cigarettes again it gets harder to quit than the last time.
I had never really believed that until now.
So here I was, finding quitting extremely difficult, kicking myself in the ass for my relapse and feeling quite literally lost.
Everything had fallen apart. And the best I could do was literally pretend to myself and to everyone around me that everything was okay, when in fact... it wasn't, at all.
I felt like I was never going to get out of the mess that I had created for myself!!! I had lost all faith in myself and the entire universe around me!!
I had my last smoke Wednesday night and decided to retire to bed even though I had been taking short naps all day to forget my miserable existence.
I awoke Thursday morning bright and early to a crystal meth dream. How could this be? I had only relapsed on crystal meth for 2 days prior to this event!!!
I had a solid half year from the actual stuff beforehand... How could 2 days bring on such a strong surreal dream of the stuff!!??? "What am I supposed to do now" I thought to myself.
That was enough for me, I told myself at that point that it was now or never. So in I went to my drawer with the iboga TA extract.
I had the iboga weighed and capsuled out beforehand and was all prepared. Even though it was literally 5am and the house was sound asleep, I felt ready and clearly was.
I ingested a gravol to help with the nausea 30 minutes prior to ingesting the iboga TA. And than I ingested the 5 iboga TA capsules (1.5 grams in total).
No turning back now.
An hour after ingesting the capsules it began. The gravol seemed to be working okay for the nausea, as my last trip was without gravol and by the hour mark I would be puking my guts out!!! Like hardcore lol.
I should also note that I had a heart and blood pressure monitor right beside me for the entire trip in case anything was off, but everything went smoothly.
There were lots of visions during my experience, but I find ibogas visions to be very gentle and subtle.
They're not as much in your face like a mushroom or lsd trip. The actual message itself is the gold (I don't do it for the visions).
If you're looking for a visual trip look elsewhere. Ayahuasca perhaps.
I was told so many insightful, truthful and loving things by the spirit of iboga. It is a very powerful tool for our recovery, and an even stronger entity like being.
More powerful than anyone can actually put into words (it is something that one has to actually experience theirself to really fully grasp, but I'll do my best to word the experience here).
Some things personal, and some more simply insightful.
I had a pen and paper right beside me for anything important that came up, as I didn't want to take the chance at forgetting anything meaningful (and I still have my iboga notes today and will always keep them close to heart).
No way hosay. This was it. My last chance and my new beginning. And God damn, that is literally exactly what it was.
I'm so happy I chose to do the Iboga TA and really give it another chance. When used properly and safely it is literally the most helpful thing out there.
I have gone to meetings, rehabs, a halfway house, jails & institutions. Iboga without a doubt is it. A gift from the actual God himself without a single doubt in my mind now.
It's incredible. Not only has the substance eliminated my cravings and desires for drugs. Not only has it showed me literally a whole new way of living.
But it's even given me my actual faith back. And I mean like actual. I have a religion again. I believe in a real God.
A "higher power". A universal love.
Whatever the hell you wanna call it. I believe.
I've literally been shown the true power, and that's nothing anyone can take away from me.
It's just incredible really. I'm so happy again.
I was just literally shown soooo much, and in such a short period too!!! Just nutz.
It really is like doing 10 years of therapy in one night. I also love the comparison I've heard other people make when they say it's like defragmenting your brain. And it is.
Cleaning out the cob webs. Going back to a simple time.
Renewing yourself. Going back to your youth!!!!
Some other words I've heard used towards Iboga are; "the cure", "a reset", etc.. and I would agree.
But it's not just like you take it and that's it. I had to do my proper research. I had to know what I was getting into.
I had read that Iboga can be used as a catalyst to quit smoking cigarettes, and that's what I decided to use it for (referring to the actual cigarette addiction itself).
I've gotten myself back, and to me, that's more than I could have asked for. It was literally worth all the puking haha
.
Iboga is not an easy substance to go through that's for sure. As I have heard one of my mentors speak about in one of his documentaries say, "it's the hard way to pray".
Going to Church and praying is easy. (& I still go to Church once a week too actually lol
, no joke).
Anyways yeah, it's sweet. It's helped me in so many ways. I'm trying to put em all here so I don't leave anyone out actually lol, but it's kinda hard.
It's a big experience.
It explained to me the dangers of the substances that I was using in detail and depth. Showed me my truest heart.
It separated me from my addiction, and that seems to be how it was actually able to do that without the addiction getting in my way for a change.
& Because it was an inner spirit that seemed to be connected to me somehow, I was able to believe in it and still do to this day (multiple days after the experience).
And even better, because I am not on Benzodiazepines anymore, I will literally remember and cherish my whole experience for a change, so that's nice too lol.
It wasn't like some random stranger preaching at me or bitching at a meeting. It was something bigger.
So much bigger.
It was real.
More down to earth than anything really out there.
Actually understandable I guess you could say.
The iboga spirit literally healed me!!!! The substance itself literally does have way more potential than a lot of people out there give it that's for sure!!
There's nothing out there that compares in benefit for the human race.
It is truly that actual "it".
And I actually believe that now that I've lived it myself.
Since the experience I haven't had a single cigarette. I literally quit the things overnight like it was nothing.
I was surprised at how easy and willing I actually became. Even as I write this now, I haven't had a cigarette going on five days now thanks to the Iboga and I literally feel great!
And my actual cravings to drugs and substances has vanished completely. I'm not haunted with thoughts or dreams about using crystal meth anymore.
I was shown the bads of that substance overnight and given a lesson I'll never forget.
I've gotten myself back.
I had a hole in my heart from the substances that I was using and now that hole just isn't there anymore.
I'm back to me. I can do whatever I want again and feel happy and know that I'm no longer a slave to evil.
The only thing I will note is that I found that even though I had only taken 50mgs of gravol beforehand, I still found the gravol to put a groggy feeling on me during the beginning of the experience and this I would rather go without.
Even though it did help me puke a lot less (as my last experience I was literally puking and shitting at the exact same time while tripping major ball sack lmao);
I'd literally rather that than the groggy feeling as it dampens the experience in my opinion (in the beginning anyways).
So tips to know I guess..
Another thing I had realized after going into the experience (that I want to make note of here) is that my last relapse with the substances had actually overridden me and caused me to hate Iboga for some reason.
Like I don't mean hate hate, but what I mean is, yeah they simply overrid things.
It was as if I had forgotten everything I was shown the last trip and had now succumb to the sin that the substances had been creating (even though deep down I knew it was all wrong).
And like I said, I was scared as hell to go back into the Iboga, but I knew something had to be done!!!! And I'm sure as hell glad I did now.
My love for iboga is back and so is my love for my life. An A+++ experience.
Now back to my awesomeness and those residual tracers . Thank you for reading.
I hope you enjoyed .
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ibogaine
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_oral
Trip Report/Testimonial:
So I had my trip on Thursday morning. I was scared to indulge into the Iboga after my last relapse.
Things just weren't the same, my spunk wasn't all there. I was simply terrified. But I had to do it. I needed to quit the cigarettes and get rid of my drug cravings that had resurfaced when I opened up pandoras box, I just had to....
I had tried to quit the cigarettes on my own before the trip. I wanted to try and get a few days without them before the trip to increase my chances at quitting the things, but unfortunately I wasn't even able to go a full 24 hours without them this time!!
It had found itself extremely difficult for me to say the least. I have heard that every time you start smoking cigarettes again it gets harder to quit than the last time.
I had never really believed that until now.
So here I was, finding quitting extremely difficult, kicking myself in the ass for my relapse and feeling quite literally lost.
Everything had fallen apart. And the best I could do was literally pretend to myself and to everyone around me that everything was okay, when in fact... it wasn't, at all.
I felt like I was never going to get out of the mess that I had created for myself!!! I had lost all faith in myself and the entire universe around me!!
I had my last smoke Wednesday night and decided to retire to bed even though I had been taking short naps all day to forget my miserable existence.
I awoke Thursday morning bright and early to a crystal meth dream. How could this be? I had only relapsed on crystal meth for 2 days prior to this event!!!
I had a solid half year from the actual stuff beforehand... How could 2 days bring on such a strong surreal dream of the stuff!!??? "What am I supposed to do now" I thought to myself.
That was enough for me, I told myself at that point that it was now or never. So in I went to my drawer with the iboga TA extract.
I had the iboga weighed and capsuled out beforehand and was all prepared. Even though it was literally 5am and the house was sound asleep, I felt ready and clearly was.
I ingested a gravol to help with the nausea 30 minutes prior to ingesting the iboga TA. And than I ingested the 5 iboga TA capsules (1.5 grams in total).
No turning back now.
An hour after ingesting the capsules it began. The gravol seemed to be working okay for the nausea, as my last trip was without gravol and by the hour mark I would be puking my guts out!!! Like hardcore lol.
I should also note that I had a heart and blood pressure monitor right beside me for the entire trip in case anything was off, but everything went smoothly.
There were lots of visions during my experience, but I find ibogas visions to be very gentle and subtle.
They're not as much in your face like a mushroom or lsd trip. The actual message itself is the gold (I don't do it for the visions).
If you're looking for a visual trip look elsewhere. Ayahuasca perhaps.
I was told so many insightful, truthful and loving things by the spirit of iboga. It is a very powerful tool for our recovery, and an even stronger entity like being.
More powerful than anyone can actually put into words (it is something that one has to actually experience theirself to really fully grasp, but I'll do my best to word the experience here).
Some things personal, and some more simply insightful.
I had a pen and paper right beside me for anything important that came up, as I didn't want to take the chance at forgetting anything meaningful (and I still have my iboga notes today and will always keep them close to heart).
No way hosay. This was it. My last chance and my new beginning. And God damn, that is literally exactly what it was.
I'm so happy I chose to do the Iboga TA and really give it another chance. When used properly and safely it is literally the most helpful thing out there.
I have gone to meetings, rehabs, a halfway house, jails & institutions. Iboga without a doubt is it. A gift from the actual God himself without a single doubt in my mind now.
It's incredible. Not only has the substance eliminated my cravings and desires for drugs. Not only has it showed me literally a whole new way of living.
But it's even given me my actual faith back. And I mean like actual. I have a religion again. I believe in a real God.
A "higher power". A universal love.
Whatever the hell you wanna call it. I believe.
I've literally been shown the true power, and that's nothing anyone can take away from me.
It's just incredible really. I'm so happy again.
I was just literally shown soooo much, and in such a short period too!!! Just nutz.
It really is like doing 10 years of therapy in one night. I also love the comparison I've heard other people make when they say it's like defragmenting your brain. And it is.
Cleaning out the cob webs. Going back to a simple time.
Renewing yourself. Going back to your youth!!!!
Some other words I've heard used towards Iboga are; "the cure", "a reset", etc.. and I would agree.
But it's not just like you take it and that's it. I had to do my proper research. I had to know what I was getting into.
I had read that Iboga can be used as a catalyst to quit smoking cigarettes, and that's what I decided to use it for (referring to the actual cigarette addiction itself).
I've gotten myself back, and to me, that's more than I could have asked for. It was literally worth all the puking haha
Iboga is not an easy substance to go through that's for sure. As I have heard one of my mentors speak about in one of his documentaries say, "it's the hard way to pray".
Going to Church and praying is easy. (& I still go to Church once a week too actually lol
Anyways yeah, it's sweet. It's helped me in so many ways. I'm trying to put em all here so I don't leave anyone out actually lol, but it's kinda hard.
It's a big experience.
It explained to me the dangers of the substances that I was using in detail and depth. Showed me my truest heart.
It separated me from my addiction, and that seems to be how it was actually able to do that without the addiction getting in my way for a change.
& Because it was an inner spirit that seemed to be connected to me somehow, I was able to believe in it and still do to this day (multiple days after the experience).
And even better, because I am not on Benzodiazepines anymore, I will literally remember and cherish my whole experience for a change, so that's nice too lol.
It wasn't like some random stranger preaching at me or bitching at a meeting. It was something bigger.
So much bigger.
It was real.
More down to earth than anything really out there.
Actually understandable I guess you could say.
The iboga spirit literally healed me!!!! The substance itself literally does have way more potential than a lot of people out there give it that's for sure!!
There's nothing out there that compares in benefit for the human race.
It is truly that actual "it".
And I actually believe that now that I've lived it myself.
Since the experience I haven't had a single cigarette. I literally quit the things overnight like it was nothing.
I was surprised at how easy and willing I actually became. Even as I write this now, I haven't had a cigarette going on five days now thanks to the Iboga and I literally feel great!
And my actual cravings to drugs and substances has vanished completely. I'm not haunted with thoughts or dreams about using crystal meth anymore.
I was shown the bads of that substance overnight and given a lesson I'll never forget.
I've gotten myself back.
I had a hole in my heart from the substances that I was using and now that hole just isn't there anymore.
I'm back to me. I can do whatever I want again and feel happy and know that I'm no longer a slave to evil.
The only thing I will note is that I found that even though I had only taken 50mgs of gravol beforehand, I still found the gravol to put a groggy feeling on me during the beginning of the experience and this I would rather go without.
Even though it did help me puke a lot less (as my last experience I was literally puking and shitting at the exact same time while tripping major ball sack lmao);
I'd literally rather that than the groggy feeling as it dampens the experience in my opinion (in the beginning anyways).
So tips to know I guess..
Another thing I had realized after going into the experience (that I want to make note of here) is that my last relapse with the substances had actually overridden me and caused me to hate Iboga for some reason.
Like I don't mean hate hate, but what I mean is, yeah they simply overrid things.
It was as if I had forgotten everything I was shown the last trip and had now succumb to the sin that the substances had been creating (even though deep down I knew it was all wrong).
And like I said, I was scared as hell to go back into the Iboga, but I knew something had to be done!!!! And I'm sure as hell glad I did now.
My love for iboga is back and so is my love for my life. An A+++ experience.
Now back to my awesomeness and those residual tracers . Thank you for reading.
I hope you enjoyed .
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ibogaine
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_oral
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