i went to a funeral today

[BeinGeneric]

I've created images of my grandmother
from pieces I've found lying around
on bookshelves, in basements and barns.
She had always been heavy about the hips,
but her face remained thin.
After she passed, that thin face beamed
from inside her pine box like a beacon.
A red and green and yellow beacon.

 

[Meatpuppet]

nice poem...i like the imagery alot, and the emotion it conveys. Its hard to lose someone, and you are lucky if u're one of the few to be close with your grandparents..i however am not.
on a critical note, i do think this poem is overly simplistic, it doesn't leave much to imagination, nor stimulate anyone to think how deep the wound from her loss truly would be in your personal situation. I do not say this to offend,
i thank you for my critique earlier on my other piece. Maybe we could chat online sometime to discuss poetry? i like a debate of views.

 

[BeinGeneric]

i didn't lose my grandmother. this poem was written in response to a painting i saw. as far as the simplistic arrangement of the poem, it says everything i want it to say. you see, i write my poetry for me, i just let other people read some of it here. I write stories about sodomizing the elderly and how the number 5 is evil, eating fingers and hiding a sparrow in my heart, but those things aren't real either.
eRIC

 

[BeinGeneric]

how mcan you decide if you like me or dislike me? you don't even know me. i don't want to come across as rude or oppressive, but i feel i should warn you, if you care about my opinion or anyone elses for that matter, you'll never make anything truly worthwhile. i've been writing for many years and had quite a few poems published, i have produced three independent zines and am presently writing for a start up magazine in columbus ohio. i'm just trying to toughen you up a bit. if you believe in what you write, that's all the true appreciation you'll ever get. don't write for me, hell, don't like me, but if you're a writer, write.
eRIC