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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

I want to keep doing it...

K

Kornyrock

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 11, 2011
Messages
5
Kind of obvious, right? I've tried quitting before. Couple months here and there, but something always comes up and I just say, 'fuck it,' and pick up a bag. Then another in a few days. Then every day, maybe twice in one day. Before I know it I'm broke. Then one day passes, not so bad. But the 2nd and 3rd day after no H is absolutely miserable. I'll lie in bed until the last minute, and get to work late. I've even cried like a little bitch at work because I felt so shitty. I know getting sick is the worst fucking feeling imaginable. The problem is after I start feeling better I still want to score and bang some H. I want that warm, fuzziness like everything is GREAT.
When I was a teenager I messed around with weed and a little coke here and there and I started snorting H. Snorting then turned to IV after about 6 months. Now I've been IV'ing for about 6 months. When I'm dope sick I'll turn to HC's and OC's but they just don't work. I guess my opiate tolerance is too high?
I know I'm an addict. That's the only kind of person that can go through that horrible withdrawal and go right back to the cause of it all. I currently use H for depression and back pain. Mainly the pain. I know if I go to the doctor they're just going to give me some type of weak, APAP'd down opiate.

Does anybody use H very sparingly to avoid withdrawal? Is it even possible with the right amount of discipline? This is my question.
 
I tried for awhile.
It worked for about 3-4 weeks. Then I just started taking a shitload lol.

I was in kinda same boat as you. Starting taking opiate because I have degenerative disc disease. (Back fucked up) Starting ripping through monthlong scripts in 3 days. So used H to fill the gaps. Then started using H only. Kicked opiates for like 5 months, now I use pretty sparingly and I'm no longer physically dependant. Though I just did H 3 days in a row. Better cool it on the dope, its so good though!
 
have you considered methadone or suboxone?
or going to see a pain specialist?

sounds like you have little control over your h use.
 
People do do it, but most people don't, and even those that are able to control their use tend to eventually let it get away from them and experience at least some withdrawals. Of course, if you've been addicted before, perhaps the best bet for you would be to get a weaker opiate prescription from a doctor for your back, and to take that on days when you just can't stand the pain/feel the urge to use H. Your tolerance will be lower then; you may feel just as good as you would on H.
 
brighton said:
have you considered methadone or suboxone?
or going to see a pain specialist?

sounds like you have little control over your h use.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't know how to obtain methadone/suboxone. It's obviously much easier to admit to my addiction to this forum than face-to-face with a doctor.
Pain specialist... sounds like a good idea but I don't want opiate based painkillers. The pain is caused by a birth defect which causes scoliosis and disc problems and would require surgery, which is out of the question at this time.

I believe I have a little bit of control. I want to quit, but I also want to keep using. The last time I used was a week ago after tapering for a week, from a gram every day for months... to a gram my last week of using. Of course the past 2 weeks have been hell on my body and mind, but now I'm finally feeling better physically. The fact that I can easily get RELIEF just by calling up a "friend" is just way too tempting.
 
Try using early in the morning avoid redosing along the day. Also look into potentiating using diphenhydramine or alternatively ambien which both work great. However this is only stop-gap, a visit to a pm specialist on the other hand is a more permanent solution.
 
I think cimetidine would be a better potentiator, be careful with it though as it can make you nod a lot harder than normally.
 
Kornyrock said:
I wouldn't know how to obtain methadone/suboxone. It's obviously much easier to admit to my addiction to this forum than face-to-face with a doctor.
Pain specialist... sounds like a good idea but I don't want opiate based painkillers. The pain is caused by a birth defect which causes scoliosis and disc problems and would require surgery, which is out of the question at this time.

I believe I have a little bit of control. I want to quit, but I also want to keep using. The last time I used was a week ago after tapering for a week, from a gram every day for months... to a gram my last week of using. Of course the past 2 weeks have been hell on my body and mind, but now I'm finally feeling better physically. The fact that I can easily get RELIEF just by calling up a "friend" is just way too tempting.
Click to expand...


dont sell yourself short man
an addiction is an addiction

if u have a desire to quit going to the dr and getting subs would be great
 
NeighborMike said:
dont sell yourself short man
an addiction is an addiction

if u have a desire to quit going to the dr and getting subs would be great
Click to expand...

aren't they the same thing as H just in pill form? What's even the point of taking them other than just to avoid w/d or avoid cravings? Do they get you high or is just the 'fix' without the 'fun'?
 
Since bupe is not a full agonist withdrawal isn't as bad as coming off heroin.
It is very long lasting so it will keep you out of WDs for a long time. And for people that absolutely can't control themselves, larger doses block opiates.

Coming off it still ain't great though.
 
Let's try this in Basic Drug Discussion because its not appropriate for Other Drugs. It's up to the BDD staff however if they'd like to keep this open over there.




OD>>>BDD
 
Kornyrock said:
Does anybody use H very sparingly to avoid withdrawal? Is it even possible with the right amount of discipline? This is my question.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure you can use H sparingly. I thought I could until a couple caps now and then turned into 3-5 caps a night and then I started using for about two weeks straight and I was chasing the dragon before work just not to get dope sick. Unfortunately, it's just something that feels too good to use sparingly. I've taken a days break, but I think about it all the time. It temporarily filled a void in my life and made me feel content for once. Even people I know that have solid self-discipline couldn't resist "just one more cap" It takes a strong will to control a heroin habit.
 
Kornyrock said:
aren't they the same thing as H just in pill form? What's even the point of taking them other than just to avoid w/d or avoid cravings? Do they get you high or is just the 'fix' without the 'fun'?
Click to expand...

having subs basically make it so you dont get dope sick while some medicine present removes the desire for you to get high

u do get a good feeling from it but after about 3 days u just feel normal again and u have to make a decision within yourself to stop, then u just taper off the subs and go on with your life

also depending on who u are u will still have the desire to go through the motion of shooting up, just something else u have to make the decision to stop

all hope is not lost
 
nah bro, you've got the doctors all wrong.. they are their to help you... they will give you adaquate subutex or methadone to ward off the withdrawls... at first it will be a bit tough because they dont know your tolerance but it will get easier.. at least for the maintenance art.;.


your life will become more stable and if you respect your dses and take the as prescribed (no Iv'ing the bupe that will get you nowhere but the morgue)

it will take a lot of effort on ur behalf... but can it really get any worse... i've been in your position and it sucked sooo bad... i spent a few months in hospitable, stabalising my meds which i was abusing, and felt great after.;.. i relapsed one week later;;; its a vicious shithole
 
pain specialists dont only prescribe opiates btw.
there are lots of other options.
im getting steriod injections in my fucked wrist from mine next week.
 
methadone has saved my life. Keep an open mind about solutions to your........situation. You can call it a problem if you choose to, but I remember being all irrational and closed-minded about methadone. It was all bs. Compared to the lengths I was going to in order to maintain the H habit, it was just a no brainer. For me, methadone has been the very definition of harm reduction. And by the way, when I got into a scenario where I needed discontinue methadone, i was successful - unlike the herds of hopeless people that bemoan their methadone "affliction." Anyway, worth considering IMHO. Best of luck.
 
i was addicted for a year, and got clean on my own. i do it here and there now, but its not around. if it were in front of me i wouldn't be able to say no, but on the rare occasion i do do it, i don't have issues with withdrawl and i seem to be able to control it fine. i suppose it depends on the person. BUT i would suggest going to a doctor and getting some suboxone/methadone and getting it under control.
 
I've been using Heroin, 1-2 bags a week, once or twice a week, since the beginning of May when I relapsed. Honestly, this is mainly due to financial constraints, but it's also partly due to the fact that only using once a week gives you all the benefits of heroin use without basically any of the negative consequences. I still have relatively low tolerance, 1 bag IV'd gets me off nice (not nodding, but a nice strong rush followed by a 6 hour enjoyable opiate high), and I don't get dopesick on my days off.

So yes, it can be done, but I will admit, I am heavily psychologically addicted and I basically think of heroin constantly, but that makes that one day a week that I use that much sweeter
 
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