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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

I thought i was normal

jayjaysleepyhead

jayjaysleepyhead

Bluelighter
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
227
And i did until last week,need answers now, I never thought the day would come when i would seek a mental health doctor but it has, as last week for some reason i tried a cocktail of drugs which i new may kill me has any of you guys tested your tolerance to certain drugs knowing the consequences could be fatal if so please answer this thread with help or advice i love drugs but not that much surely.
 
I've only done that in the hopes that it might kill me.

What happened, man?
 
This clearly indicates that something's very wrong and that you're in a very dark place.
Beneath the surface & all that.
It's best if you get professional medial aid to hopefully successfully discuss the issues.
if no luck with that which can happen you can come back here.

Just imo...which means I could always be wrong.
 
I got no idea what happened but i do believe i may av been mentally ill for months , depression and mainly just not happy the way my lifes turned out i dont talk enough to the right people if you know what i mean ,i see a doctor tomorrow 1pm so thats a start
 
jayjaysleepyhead said:
I got no idea what happened but i do believe i may av been mentally ill for months , depression and mainly just not happy the way my lifes turned out i dont talk enough to the right people if you know what i mean ,i see a doctor tomorrow 1pm so thats a start
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One in 3 people in the UK experience at least one episode of mental illness during there life, and in a lot of cases concerning the kind of 'hobbyists' that use this site (including my own episodes of neurotic problems) is generally reactive due to the overuse of drugs.

It sounds like you need to see the doc and give whatever you have been up to a rest - if it is related to drug use you should find that 3 - 6 months of a clear head will have you feeling much better.

If you are deliberately pushing your use of substances to try and reach the straw that broke the camels back, you do sound like your in a bad place fella, as you will eventually get there. All of my riskiest use has just been motivated by stupidity and greed to get as high as I can.
 
Fucking Fubar beat me to it. DAMN you fubar <3

You are normal. It's the ones that deny they have issues that are abnormal.

We've all been there, most of us have the tee shirt to prove it.

You just need someone to talk to. What's the issue man? Why push it? It wasn't for the fun.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
But I say, "I like to beat my meat..."
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You say that like it's a secret. There is a reason everyone loves you. Everyone loves a pervert ;)

We're all perverted. Some more than others xx
 
BigG said:
FUBAR love you long time? Give sucky sucky? :)
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Make it pay per view ? I'm not saying that I would watch it but some of the other pervs on here would like it (PM me with details when showing).
 
Yeah you know you'd watch it Bear......

To be fair we all would.....:)
 
Sadie said:
You say that like it's a secret. There is a reason everyone loves you. Everyone loves a pervert ;)

We're all perverted. Some more than others xx
Click to expand...
And you reckon i am more perverted than FUBAR. I feel well loved :)
 
I've been in a position where I'd taken stupid amounts of benzos, opiates (was mostly oxycodone I used around this time) and hard liquor on top. I was never planning to top meyself, I was just being incredibly stupid and reckless. There were a few nights like this (I didn't have enough money for stuff like oxy or heroin often during my benzo addiction, thank fuck because I would almost certainly be dead by now if I did).... quite a few nights where I'd was lying there in my collapsed room (the plumbing from the bathroom in the flat above my bedroom caused my ceiling to cave in because I couldn't be aresed to report the increasing "bubbles" in the ceiling and just put it off like everything else). So I'd be lying on a bunch of blankets (my bed was ruined when the ceiling collapsed, so I just continued to live in this freezing abomination of a room with visible holes in the ceiling and damp everywhere) dosed up on benzos, opiates and cheap booze [often accompanied by legal rc dissociatives]. I remember one particular night I felt so fucking good but it was also getting really hard to stay awake and conscious, even in this freezing excuse for a room. I thought to myself at that point I felt so good I don't care if I go to sleep and don't wake up.

Of course I woke up. And I would think to myself 'thank fuck', because even thought I knew I was pushing it at the time, I wasn't suicidal - I was just uninhibited enough to take deadly cocktails for fun. A couple of weeks later, a friend actually talked me out of a genuine suicide attempt.

So there is a clear difference to me.... are you taking dangerous combinations of drugs because you are already high and looking for more? Or are you actually hoping to die?

Both circumstances are serious but obviously the latter is critical, and in that case you should seek help at the first possible opportunity.
 
Hi again apart from the 2 of you having a romance thanks to everyone i personally have had about 10 days to think about what and why i done this, look i dont wanna fuckin die who does ,now being a benzo head i know my tolerance is high and i need a lot i think i just wanted to push it that bit further to see how far i could go so 18 2mg of klonopin mixed with a few other things did test the boat i just miss the euphoria i used to get off benzos so i tried and went to far but i also need to get out more and talk to medics like docs and shrinks as their is a screw loose somewhere.
 
I know I'm being a hypocrite but please try and keep this thread on topic, guys :p

Jayjay - as cliché as it sounds, talking really is the only starting remedy. It being a healthcare professional is good and if you have a close friend you can talk to about it, it really lifts the weight off for a while. You might need to have the weight lifted off regularly for a while but, man, the relief feels great.

I've had benzo habits, but never been dependent on them, and even that left my head in the shitter more than any other type of drug (bar stimulants). I'm sorry if I've jumped to the wrong assumption of dependence. If you need to see a light at the end of the benzo addiction tunnel - look at Nicklazz's brilliant turnaround. He was heavy into the benzo use,managed to taper, and now has lots of great things going on in his life.

I can only echo what others have said about this making you no less normal than anybody else. You'll find many people, especially on here, for whom having some form of mental distress is normal. Even for those who have never had an issue, they're only one experience, tick of life's clock, or tough break in life away from experiencing a problem with their mental health. My depression is quite cyclical/situationally dependent and, if you met me as a stranger, you would most likely have no idea that there's even a time of the day that I'm not smiling 8)

I really hope you can get a bit of relief, man. I'm very confident that you can. To end with one more cliché - you've taken the vital first step <3
 
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