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I think its time for me to come off the anti-depressants

G

goku4ever

Bluelighter
Joined
May 13, 2010
Messages
461
A couple of weeks ago my doctor moved me down from 20mg to 10mg of my anti-depressant. I was a bit skeptical at first, but in those last 2 weeks Ive felt better than I have in a long time. I used to struggle to wake up to get into work for 9. Now Im waking up so early I get into work for 8. Im running more, I feel happier with myself.
Everything that triggered my depression, I feel has been remedied. I have a job (which I love), I no longer live with my parents and lately it has been made perfectly clear that I have plenty of true REAL friends as I have come out to them about being transgender and their response has been positive.
I still have bad moments, but they don't self-perpetuate. When something bad happens at work I am actually able to logically look at what happened and how I can try to swerve future occurances, rather than feeling bad about myself and dwelling on it.
I think Im ready to come off the anti-depressants. Im not back to my normal self, I think Im actually happier than I used to be.

Its absolutely amazing to look back at how bad I was. This topic was made at the absolute peak of my worst:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/584622-Im-suicidal...

I really can't believe I ever felt like that. My depression was so bad that even when high I was down. Now however, even after a heavy session of MXE I still feel ok.
At the time it was so hard to believe there was an end to this horrible tortorous existence, but I feel I am at the end. I don't cry because Im sad anymore, typing this Im crying because Im so happy about how much Ive changed and how Ive gotten through this.
I realise I still have faults, I lack common sense sometimes, Im a little lazy. But thats ok, because my positive attributes far outnumber the negatives. And hey, everybody makes mistakes.

I just felt like sharing that I think finally I am maybe me again.

oh and also, Ive noticed my desire to do drugs is declining
 
Once again, you've made my day! I am so happy for you that I cannot even find words to express it. Suffice it to say that I am crying some happy tears reading this. :)<3<3<3
 
=D thanks
Reading through my old posts, I can remember my thought processes and I never realised how needy I must have been around people. Im still needy around people now, no doubt about that. But Im not so deperately needy. I have my friends to hang with, I don't feel the obsessive need to get on with everyone. Theres a woman at work I don't get on well with. We're pleasant enough with eachother but because we have different work styles when we worked together once we sort of grated. But the bosses noticed so we won't be working together again.
 
Aw you are an insiration to lots of people who are suffering from depression out there,it really does show that you can get where you would like to be in life if you just try and stick with it.Iv had severe depression in the past along with post natal depression and when i take a look back to how low my mood was back then i can barely believe how well im actually doing now.I was on me4dication for about 3 years,ifelt like i constantly in a very dark tunnel i felt so lost,so weak,so on my own as if not one person could understand how bad i was feeling inside.Ieventually ended up having a nervous breakdown in 2004 and was admitted to the local psych unit and was there for approx 3months,whilst i was an inpatient i got diagnosed with having Biplar affective disorder/Scitzo affective disorder which i was told has been triggered to childhood sexual abuse.Iv since had a few admissions and need medication on a daily basis to keep me mentally well.I have my good days and my bad days as does everybody but with bipolar symptoms are major highs and major lows,when im low i feel suicidle in such a big way so i totally understand how low people can feel.My highs can also be just as draining for me and i end up needing to sleep it off for 3 days.I admire you for coming through your suffering of depression because i do know how diofficult it is,keep smiling,and keep being strong take good care pamela x
goku4ever said:
A couple of weeks ago my doctor moved me down from 20mg to 10mg of my anti-depressant. I was a bit skeptical at first, but in those last 2 weeks Ive felt better than I have in a long time. I used to struggle to wake up to get into work for 9. Now Im waking up so early I get into work for 8. Im running more, I feel happier with myself.
Everything that triggered my depression, I feel has been remedied. I have a job (which I love), I no longer live with my parents and lately it has been made perfectly clear that I have plenty of true REAL friends as I have come out to them about being transgender and their response has been positive.
I still have bad moments, but they don't self-perpetuate. When something bad happens at work I am actually able to logically look at what happened and how I can try to swerve future occurances, rather than feeling bad about myself and dwelling on it.
I think Im ready to come off the anti-depressants. Im not back to my normal self, I think Im actually happier than I used to be.

Its absolutely amazing to look back at how bad I was. This topic was made at the absolute peak of my worst:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/584622-Im-suicidal...

I really can't believe I ever felt like that. My depression was so bad that even when high I was down. Now however, even after a heavy session of MXE I still feel ok.
At the time it was so hard to believe there was an end to this horrible tortorous existence, but I feel I am at the end. I don't cry because Im sad anymore, typing this Im crying because Im so happy about how much Ive changed and how Ive gotten through this.
I realise I still have faults, I lack common sense sometimes, Im a little lazy. But thats ok, because my positive attributes far outnumber the negatives. And hey, everybody makes mistakes.

I just felt like sharing that I think finally I am maybe me again.

oh and also, Ive noticed my desire to do drugs is declining
Click to expand...
 
Good stuff!!! Very, very, VERY cool! I used to be prescribed lexapro, first 10mg then 20mg, and I have to say, for a certain period, yes, I think it helped. But on the whole, I was so happy to get off that stuff. It made me very blah, lethargic like too often, basically super unmotivated. And the sexual side effects...

Whatever, I don't mean to dis the medication outright. Good stuff for certain people under certain circumstances, for sure.

The most important thing here is what THIS ALL MEANS, especially for the OP. Sounds like things are staring to come up goku4ever! :) That's what rocks the most. Cheers!
 
Thanks everyone! I agree about the side effects, they can be quite nasty. Sometimes I feel so tired. But Im glad I can hopefully come off them soon.
Today at work I made a monumental cock up and normally I would have given myself hell for the next few days for it, but instead I was like "ok, whats done is done" then I worked faster and harder than I ever had before and actually ended up finishing slightly earlier than I would have if I hadn't of made the mistake, thus totally negating it.
I feel pretty good about that.
 
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