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I think I'm done

D

Dcole461

Bluelighter
Joined
May 26, 2016
Messages
83
Location
I've often thought what if I'm in a mental institu
Crying on the bus, trying not to give into doing meth to feel better when I get home but I just feel so done with this shit. Executives are coming tomorrow and I find myself begging for a promotion.

This wasn't supposed to be my life. Going home to call the suicide hotline, might just skip that this time. I dont care anymore. This isnt living anyway...
 
Do what you think is right, but try following the 3 day rule. Wait 3 days, if you don't want to kill yourself any time during the 3 days then reset the 3 days or just don't do it. Whats 3 more days when it's permanent? Take your time.
 
Lives are a mix of random luck and creation. You can't change everything but you can change so much. Fatalism would have you think you can't change anything but in reality this (fatalistic thinking) is just where our desperate minds find some temporary rest and refuge. What I have found is that it is okay to go there as long as you don't stay.;) let your spirit catch a breath and then see how things look.<3
 
Try to remember that it is very common to be extremely emotional after quitting an addiction. What you are experiencing is normal and temporary. I would hate for you to commit suicide over PAWS symptoms. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, even if you don't think so right now. Have you considered medication to help get you through this difficult time?
 
Whenever something awesome happens in my life these days, I always think the same two things :

1. I remember a time when everything in my life was black, negative, pain, wrong, broken. This was not a state of mind, things really were that bad. Not a single thing to look forward to, and nothing but mental and physical anguish.

2. I am so, so glad that when at that time, when I tried to hang myself, the beam broke under my weight and I awoke in a puddle of my own juices on the floor.

I know what it is like to not see anything good in the world. But you can come through it. And when that day comes, you'll be so glad once you do that you didn't do something terrible today.

Shout at us lot, reach out, punch a fucking hole in the wall. But please don't do that. Because there is happiness to come, however bleak it seems right now.
 
The crying is likely due to labile affect, a common but little realized w/d symptom of many drugs. When w/d off H for example, even the slightest trigger would send me bawling.

This depression and other symptoms are temporary. You have to keep reminding yourself of that. It will pass. Death will not.

We're here. Keep reaching out. Don't isolate.
 
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