mikeorr4444
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 21, 2015
- Messages
- 46
Hello, I just wanted to share my experience with you guys. I am 10 days clean today.
I've posted a few times before in attempts to quit but I only lasted like 3 days those 2 times. I've been a slave to norco and oxy for almost 2 years, taking 40mg of the hydro or 30 of the oxy a day, sometimes twice a day. I used do to 50-60 and 40 but after one quitting attempt I cut it down. I wasn't using to get high at that point, I was using to get through the days. I recently realized that in my previous attempts to quit, I don't think my heart was in it. Subconsciously I didn't want to.
I dont know if this has happened to other people, but 10 days ago I had a "light bulb" moment. I came home from work and my kids came running up to me and jumped in my arms. I'm not sure what happened, but I was overcome with emotion. Remorse, shame, you name it. I was living a secret but knew I was hurting them even if they didn't know it. I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and just cried. I let them sleep in bed with my wife and I that night and I just held them tighter than I ever have.
The next day I started this journey. It was weird, I was expecting the worst and of course days 2-3 were uncomfortable. But since then, I am owning this. I've made this disease my bitch. I have zero psychological symptoms like I did in the past. Aches are now completely gone. Sleep is back. I've been to the gym daily and on day 1 I completely changed my diet, eating green, taking vitamins. I'm not sure if it was my new motivation for wanting to quit or my complete 180 with diet and exercise that have made what's been so hard in the past so easy for me.
I am now flush with cash. I have the means to score and don't even think about it for a second. The thought of it actually makes me sick. I was killing myself, my liver ached and I could tell it was swollen. It now seems back to normal. I have so much energy and am so motivated. My senses are heightened. My mind is sharper. I can't believe I suppressed this feeling for so long. I'm sober but feel so great emotionally and now physically, that I feel high! I guess this is what they mean by being "high on life". Don't take life for granted, it's so short. The haze is gone and everything is so much more enjoyable, from laughter to food. For anyone out there who thinks it's impossible, sometimes all it takes is for you to find your "light bulb" moment. I can't stress enough how much working out and nutrition have aided me in this recovery process. I know I'm not out of the woods, but.... I know my future is bright! Good luck to you all!
I've posted a few times before in attempts to quit but I only lasted like 3 days those 2 times. I've been a slave to norco and oxy for almost 2 years, taking 40mg of the hydro or 30 of the oxy a day, sometimes twice a day. I used do to 50-60 and 40 but after one quitting attempt I cut it down. I wasn't using to get high at that point, I was using to get through the days. I recently realized that in my previous attempts to quit, I don't think my heart was in it. Subconsciously I didn't want to.
I dont know if this has happened to other people, but 10 days ago I had a "light bulb" moment. I came home from work and my kids came running up to me and jumped in my arms. I'm not sure what happened, but I was overcome with emotion. Remorse, shame, you name it. I was living a secret but knew I was hurting them even if they didn't know it. I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and just cried. I let them sleep in bed with my wife and I that night and I just held them tighter than I ever have.
The next day I started this journey. It was weird, I was expecting the worst and of course days 2-3 were uncomfortable. But since then, I am owning this. I've made this disease my bitch. I have zero psychological symptoms like I did in the past. Aches are now completely gone. Sleep is back. I've been to the gym daily and on day 1 I completely changed my diet, eating green, taking vitamins. I'm not sure if it was my new motivation for wanting to quit or my complete 180 with diet and exercise that have made what's been so hard in the past so easy for me.
I am now flush with cash. I have the means to score and don't even think about it for a second. The thought of it actually makes me sick. I was killing myself, my liver ached and I could tell it was swollen. It now seems back to normal. I have so much energy and am so motivated. My senses are heightened. My mind is sharper. I can't believe I suppressed this feeling for so long. I'm sober but feel so great emotionally and now physically, that I feel high! I guess this is what they mean by being "high on life". Don't take life for granted, it's so short. The haze is gone and everything is so much more enjoyable, from laughter to food. For anyone out there who thinks it's impossible, sometimes all it takes is for you to find your "light bulb" moment. I can't stress enough how much working out and nutrition have aided me in this recovery process. I know I'm not out of the woods, but.... I know my future is bright! Good luck to you all!
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