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I think I'm currently cursed

Eligiu

Eligiu

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jul 8, 2017
Messages
1,428
Up until 3-4 weeks ago I was ready to stop IV use completely due to not being able to successfully do it frequently. I was messing my arms up and missing more times than I was successful. So I was ready to quit.

Now? I don't know what's happening. I don't have an issue with it now. Well I have an issue obviously but I am having no issues doing it successfully.

And I really didn't want this to happen. I liked kind of being bad at it because it was always an encouraging factor to stop. Now it feels like there's no real reason to since I can do it more or less every time. I never wanted this to happen.
 
neversickanymore said:
What are you shooting
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Meth, but I dislike it. I just can't access heroin where I live and I'm on maintenance therapy. If I could get IV benzos I'd do that too. I'm addicted to shooting, less so the drug.

I really need a way of treating the behavioural addiction of shooting up rather than treating the drug use aspect of it. The drugs are a means to an end for me.
 
neversickanymore said:
Iv benzodiazepines are pretty much pointless. But as you have realized, you opened quite the situation❤️❤️❤️.

I get it.

What are you thinking moving forward
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I want to work with my drug and alcohol counsellor on how to treat an addiction to needles moreso than the addiction to the meth. Meth I can take or leave. But the needle addiction is real. He used to be an IV user so I think he may have some valuable information.

Also, I've been working on figuring out ways to bring more self compassion into my life. Asking a friend who texts me affirming things regarding trauma that I have difficulties believing.

I'm also going to talk to my therapist about something rather significant someone on the discord pointed out to me. So I've got a plan.
 
neversickanymore said:
sounds spot on. id roll it.

im really interested in trauma recently and would love to hear more about your thinking here, both on treatment and thoughts on trauma and addiction. So im all ears.
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I'm happy to discuss it over private message if you'd like that, I don't mind talking about it on here but it may clog up the thread. I've been in trauma therapy for 8 years.
 
Eligiu said:
Up until 3-4 weeks ago I was ready to stop IV use completely due to not being able to successfully do it frequently. I was messing my arms up and missing more times than I was successful. So I was ready to quit.

Now? I don't know what's happening. I don't have an issue with it now. Well I have an issue obviously but I am having no issues doing it successfully.

And I really didn't want this to happen. I liked kind of being bad at it because it was always an encouraging factor to stop. Now it feels like there's no real reason to since I can do it more or less every time. I never wanted this to happen.
Click to expand...
Careful shooting stims cause they wreck your circulatory system.
 
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