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I think I might be pregnant, what the hell do I do

Pagey

Pagey

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 11, 2012
Messages
9,428
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The Valley of Ashes
So I'm 2 weeks late and this has never happened before, I'm always on time give or take a day or two. The thing is I've never had consensual unprotected sex, I know that even with protection there's a risk but I sort of doubt that's the cause here. About a month ago, I went out to a bar with friends, remember talking to some guy, he bought me a drink, I left to go to the bathroom for a minute, came back, drank, and then I don't remember ANYTHING until next morning when I woke up at some apartment at the other end of the city. Obviously I can guess what happened while I was passed out (if I was? I have no idea, I just don't know what happened), it's really terrifying and this is the first time I talk about it openly because I guess it's easier to share it with strangers than with people I know personally. So now I'm really worried I might be pregnant from that night. I know I should go take a pregnancy test but I'm too scared of what the result would be, and I don't want to have to tell this to anyone I know. Luckily I live in France, where if it does turn out I'm pregnant, I can get a free and anonymous abortion and no one needs to know, but still, it would mean coming to terms with what happened and I don't know if I'm ready to do that. Pregnancy-wise I realize there isn't much you guys can do apart from tell me to take a test, but any support and comments would be welcome :(

I'm also really afraid I might have gotten HIV or something...I'm planning on getting tested some time this week, but there too I'm really afraid
 
Don't put off getting tested any longer. The sooner, the better.
 
I know it must suck going though this but the sooner you find out the better off you'll be and more time you will have to talk to experts to decide on what you want to do best of luck and don't put it off is better to find out and deal with it now.
 
Sorry to hear your story. You should get yourself tested for SIDA and any other possible infections toute de suite! Plenty of free clinics in Paris. Do a pregnancy test and file a complaint with the police!
 
That's awful :(
All I can say is, you're worried sick as it is, so, get pregnancy tested asap - you might be worrying unduly, and if you're fears are founded, at least you will know and can make a decision with regards what to do. As if you leave it too long termination would no longer be an option.
As for the fear of an STD - worrying will not affect the results no matter what. A lot of STD's are curable, some treatable and affect your sex life minimally.
As for HIV - again worrying will achieve nothing, hopefully you haven't caught this (or anything else for that matter) but worse case scenario, HIV treatment is well advanced these days and people with the HIV virus isn't developing into AIDS until later and later in life.
I truly, truly, hope all your fears are unfounded.
Whatever the outcome of all tests, please find a counsellor, either in person or over a phone, trained in dealing with victims of assault, to help you put this incident behind you and move forward. Bottling things up will do you no good.
Like another poster said, go to the police, wait until you feel strong enough if you have to but make the report. There may be no physical evidence after this time, but your report could become part of building up a case if it isn't sufficient for a successful prosecution on its own. And at the very least women in that area can be warned. Reporting it could save another woman being in the same situation as you are now.
I pray to God all your tests come back negative and the evil man that did this to you is punished so you can move on.
 
Yep, you've got it, take a test. The fact that you're worried about it so much may make your period late as well.

My period has always been on time, every time. I practically know what HOUR it will arrive. Always has been this way. The one time, I was worried, I was on birth control but we had sex without a condom and he finished inside of me (ONLY time this has happened), my period came a week late. Just because I worried nonstop. Your mind CAN do things like that.

But obviously we don't know the answer :(
Best of luck to you <3
 
Wow, Pagey. I'm really sorry, and if a guy did anything, he's a piece of shit. Just take that step, babe. Just get the test to stop the guessing. Baby steps. The first one is the test, and then you can move on to the next step if it's positive.
 
Thanks a lot for all the answers everyone, I really appreciate it :)
I went to get a pregnancy test and it turned out positive so morale is not high here...I took an appointment with my doctor to get a blood test to confirm though, praying that the pregnancy test was wrong. I really don't want to have to explain what happened to him but I don't think I have a choice.
 
Oh, no! I'm sorry. I hope it's a false positive. I can imagine dealing with this is hard enough without bringing a baby into the mix.
 
You have nothing to be ashamed about and there should be no issues with your doctor judging you for what happened, you are a victim, you didn't ask for what happened to you. Hopefully your doctor will objectively give you your options without inflicting personal opinions on you. You will have some major decisions to make and there shouldn't be any unnecessary pressure on you. You will also need to keep getting tested every few months for std's. It can take awhile before a disease will test positive in your body. I really hope you come through with a clean bill of health.

You should also seek some counseling, even if you don't feel like you need it. Talking to someone may help relieve some tension, anxiety, and burden you didn't even know you had.

My heart goes out to you <3 You'll be in my thoughts
 
Pagey said:
Thanks a lot for all the answers everyone, I really appreciate it :)
I went to get a pregnancy test and it turned out positive so morale is not high here...I took an appointment with my doctor to get a blood test to confirm though, praying that the pregnancy test was wrong. I really don't want to have to explain what happened to him but I don't think I have a choice.
Click to expand...

The blood test is far more reliable, but a positive urine result means that you likely did become pregnant. If the sex was not consensual and/or if you were drugged, your choice is especially difficult. You need not explain anything regarding your condition to a man that put something in your drink.

I hope you have the support of your family and friends however you choose to proceed. You have a great support network here in SLR and on BL, whatever your decision.

<3
 
I have kids one which was defientely unplanned and let me tell you what she put me through a worry some pregnancy. I smoked pot like three weeks before I found out and she is the most amazing little soul...trying somedays but she is ok...you can email me at [email protected] as I have alot of experience in the fields with perinatologists as I had four premature babies...I am very open about it...hugs...with my oldest daughter by the way I went through a phase I thought the same about HIV to the point I quit my job as I was so stressed awaiting the results of it and it turned out negative.
 
I'm sorry that happened to you. many digital hugs going your way. I hope you find you can confide in someone in your life it may help.
 
You do really need to talk to someone about what happened to you. Please just trust us on this.

I've had some bad stuff happen to me in my past and my coping mechanism was also just to carry on and not tell anyone, but looking back I can see this was the wrong thing to do. At the time I really couldn't see the point in talking about it, or feel the need to tell anyone, it was almost as if by telling someone it would become real & I'd have to acknowledge it, which i wasn't willing to do - or maybe I just thought I was strong enough to deal with it, which I did at the time. But then it all caught up with me years later which wasn't pleasant, and I wondered how different a person I would have been if I had handled it in a healthier way.

Don't underestimate the psychological trauma of what you've been/are going through. Don't fear judgement - if you chose the right person to tell. Just let them be there to listen and the act of telling them alone will help your subconcious guide you through the immediate future.
 
Not wanting to sound cold and clinical here but the fact you are pregnant means you also have the ability to prove paternity with the suspected rapist. I know there is no proof that you were drugged, and it comes down to a he said, she said, but if you do decide to have an abortion makes sure you can still get the paternity tested.

It is safe to assume that you are not the first (or unfortunately the last) victim of this guy and making a police report is wise no matter how slim your chance of prosecuting this guy on your own.
 
First of all, I'm really sorry about what happened to you - *hugs*. I've just read that you seem to be pregnant, so I can only reassure you about the fact that HIV transmission is not automatical at every unprotected sex act. Even if you are pregnant (and thus doubtlessy you know what happened), chances are that you did not get infected with HIV. If you want some numbers, try reading this http://www.who.int/hiv/events/artprevention/gray.pdf . You should not consider yourself as HIV+ since now - if those numbers are correct, you most likely aren't.
Did you talk with the police? Maybe the guy can be apprehended and sent to jail.

Take a blood test to confirm (or, luckily, disconfirm) the pregnancy.. and take care. /me gives more hugs
 
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