i think i fucked my HPTA up for life

[gill7777]

when i was 19 i wanted to be ripped and big and fuck bad bitches, so i took some steroids, and did just that, and never came off. until now, 2 and a half years later. about a month and a half ago i decided enough is enough. i wanna go to the military too. my last injection was test prop which was about 6 weeks ago.

anyway, i've done a course of HCG then clomid/nolva. im off everything and i dont feel like myself. i dont have ED at all which is good, but i just have little interest in girls.

what annoys me the most is the fact that if i am on TRT i will have a shitty military career because i will be undeployable, but i personally have little hope. it will take months and months for my levels to return to normal range i'm sure, and even when they return they definitely won't be what a 22 year old's should be.

my whole life had been a bit of an emotional struggle, and they wanted to put me on anti-depressants but i am so against that, so i figured that steroids would make me feel better and they did, i felt great when i was taking them im sure you guys know what im talking about. i'm almost 22 and i really don't want to waste a year of my life holding on to the possibility that maybe i'll recover to below-normal levels of testosterone. it just doesnt make any sense. i'll never be at like 700ng/dl naturally which is about where someone my age should be.

 

[Renz Envy]

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I started at 20.

Since then, when I'm natty I have 0 confidence or libido and have wild mood swings that go from anxious to overly excited (giddy)

I had low T before, but now I can barely keep a job performing as a natty. (mood swings and depression cause me to lose ambition at work)

My doctor knows I have a history of drug use, so getting TRT through him is not possible. I self administer. Since starting TRT the mood swings and depression have disappeared entirely.

I don't advocate starting TRT that young, I'm just saying what my experience has been thus far.

 

[gill7777]

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I started at 20.

Since then, when I'm natty I have 0 confidence or libido and have wild mood swings that go from anxious to overly excited (giddy)

I had low T before, but now I can barely keep a job performing as a natty. (mood swings and depression cause me to lose ambition at work)

My doctor knows I have a history of drug use, so getting TRT through him is not possible. I self administer. Since starting TRT the mood swings and depression have disappeared entirely.

I don't advocate starting TRT that young, I'm just saying what my experience has been thus far.

yeah no one advocates starting TRT this young but then again, those people dont know what it's like having low test at 22 years old. i remember i was on underdosed test for a month or two, i got bloods and my test came back 370. i was a bit depressed then, with my levels at 370 but i felt normal. now i dont even want to get out of bed i have no motivation to do anything, i feel empty, and i have no confidence. the thing is, i still have some test and a clean pin left over right here in my room. i could return to normal within a day

 

[Serotonin101]

I started at 23. Had low test from heroin abuse and addiction. Well I was low normal which didn't cut it for me. I too want to join the military and wasn't even sure if one was still eligible if on trt. I enjoy my high normal levels of test now. I was off drugs for two years and still had low normal test, I just accepted what I had to do and went from there. Self prescribed it.

 

[gill7777]

some of my bloodwork came in today, have been off comid for 12 days, and off nolva for a week. still waiting for the testosterone results, should be up tomorrow...

Estradiol 247.30 pmol/L [reference]* 99.40 - 192.00


Luteinizing Hormone 9.52 mIU/mL [reference]* 1.70 - 8.60


FSH 8.19 mIU/mL [reference]* 1.50 - 12.40

I started at 23. Had low test from heroin abuse and addiction. Well I was low normal which didn't cut it for me. I too want to join the military and wasn't even sure if one was still eligible if on trt. I enjoy my high normal levels of test now. I was off drugs for two years and still had low normal test, I just accepted what I had to do and went from there. Self prescribed it.

that's what i'd do. i believe that i can get my test levels to normal range, but the bottom spectrum of normal. even having test levels of 500 in your 20s sucks you do not want that. and no endo will give you TRT unless your levels are below 300.

but i also had many bouts with heroin addiction. i was reflecting all day today, and yeah it is better to have an edge over all the other guys.

 

[Serotonin101]

Lots of endos won't prescribe injectable trt here state side it seems as well.. A lot want to push the gel or oral methods which are pure shit. Injectable test is a God send. I'm on 250mg/week currently (with some other compounds of course) and love it. Of course I've tried as low as 125/week solo and 250 solo to see how I felt and even at 125/week I felt better than I did before. 250-300 is optimal for me as I build muscle, retain muscle during a cut, healthy libido, no estrogen issues, all positive and no negatives for me at those doses.

 

[gill7777]

yeah that sounds about right. 250mg a week will put you at around 1000-1200ng/dl test which is borderline off the charts, but still in normal range.

but honestly speaking, i probably am fucked right? it'll take forever to recover, and even then i'll be recovering to like 3, 400... 500 max. that sucks.

anyway i know the military in my country (not american), you're home every 2 weeks usually, 3 weeks max. i could bring one pin to the base with me no problem.

 

[Genetic Freak]

some of my bloodwork came in today, have been off comid for 12 days, and off nolva for a week. still waiting for the testosterone results, should be up tomorrow...

Estradiol 247.30 pmol/L [reference]* 99.40 - 192.00


Luteinizing Hormone 9.52 mIU/mL [reference]* 1.70 - 8.60


FSH 8.19 mIU/mL [reference]* 1.50 - 12.40

that's what i'd do. i believe that i can get my test levels to normal range, but the bottom spectrum of normal. even having test levels of 500 in your 20s sucks you do not want that. and no endo will give you TRT unless your levels are below 300.

but i also had many bouts with heroin addiction. i was reflecting all day today, and yeah it is better to have an edge over all the other guys.

Looking at you results, there's nothing wrong with FSH or LH, in fact LH is higher than normal... I'd be interested to see where Test is as E2 is on the high side, but could be due to circulating estrogens from nolva/clomid cessation...

You seem to have a very negative mentality, thats something you need to work on... With regards former opiate use and long term HPTA issues Guido or Serotonin might better advise.. TRT is always an option, but other avenues should be exhausted prior to contemplating a lifetime on exogenous hormones... I personally wouldn't worry at this stage, there are several options available, and TRT isn't that bad, especially if self medicating, you can ensure a lifetime of high normal test levels, which isn't all bad... lol

 

[gill7777]

Looking at you results, there's nothing wrong with FSH or LH, in fact LH is higher than normal... I'd be interested to see where Test is as E2 is on the high side, but could be due to circulating estrogens from nolva/clomid cessation...

You seem to have a very negative mentality, thats something you need to work on... With regards former opiate use and long term HPTA issues Guido or Serotonin might better advise.. TRT is always an option, but other avenues should be exhausted prior to contemplating a lifetime on exogenous hormones... I personally wouldn't worry at this stage, there are several options available, and TRT isn't that bad, especially if self medicating, you can ensure a lifetime of high normal test levels, which isn't all bad... lol

odd. my test came back 696! but could it still be elevated from the clomid? i only stopped taking the clomid 12 days ago, and blood was drawn 3 days ago

 

[Serotonin101]

Everything on my bloods after I got clean read proportionately low. But in range :/. I tried an oral only cycle at one point with a pct and shit still didn't come return to normal. So I went trt on my own.